Im so sorry its taken so long to reply, I created the post after a particularly bad night with the baby, and I tried to pull myself together to enjoy the rest of our holiday (my eldest is annoyed at the noise and both me and my husband are hanging from the lack of sleep)
So the baby has always been like this, Ive created the problem myself, I wanted to be his comfort, and I wanted him to have all the time that he needed, and thought we might just manage to get into a rhythm of what he was comfortable with. I think we sort of did at night time. He used to just wake for 2 bottles each night unless he was unwell.
Daytime sleep has always been a problem, he takes very short naps. Much of the time those naps fall into the time of once ive finished the school run he will have his breakfast then nap for 10-15 minutes. If I try to put him down he senses it and thats it. Hes up, wont go back down. Often he doesnt have this anymore.
Afternoon nap is also maybe 15 minutes. Ill put him into the car to get the eldest from school, he will scream for a few minutes because he isnt being touched, then often falls asleep, by the time DD gets in the car hes often woken, screaming and im in the back of the car with him.
He doesnt get comfort from our presence but wants to be held. Ive tried to hold his hand, stroke his face, even hold his foot, hes not having it.
He does sleep better when hes in our bed, which is where he was having his night time feeds, but im on numerous medications that really up the risk of co-sleeping so its not an option (both because of his age, but also my medication puts up the risk)
Ive even been assessing if hes busy enough that hes tired when it comes to night time.
most days our routine looks like this:
6am- wake up and ready for the day. The only way I put him down is on a good day because he can see/ hear me he doesnt scream as I throw my clothes on. a bad day, he screams whilst I get dressed, I sing to him, talk to him etc.
7:30leave for the school run... his sister sits in the back on the way there, he screams the whole way back.
8am: back, breakfast.
9:am might nap for 10/15 minutes- has to be held.
When he wakes we get ready to go out to a club/ soft play/ playdate at his friends house.
generally home for 11:30 lunch by 12, he sits in his seat and I talk to him as I cook our food.
by 1pm ish were usually playing in the livingroom, i throw toys on the floor, we play nursery rhymes, have books out etc.
1:45 bottle
2pm leave for school run.
3pm were generally popping to the park, pop to the shops after.
As I cook dinner my eldest plays with him to keep him occupied until my husband is home and takes over.
Once dinner is done, we have bath time, which includes some bath toys, then he gets ready for bed- including a little baby massage, usually a book and a bottle in a dimly lit room.
He usually wont fight going to sleep. If its me he will fall asleep on me,or in his carrier strapped to me. If its Dad, he sings speckled frog and rocks him until the baby is asleep.
We put him down, he wakes, we get him up, bottle, cuddles, speckled frog, hugs, in a dimly lit room, hes good. Goes back to sleep.
Put him in his cot, Nope. Hes up, he screams, then we start again.
This is all so different to the first, I did CIO method with her, and she slept through from about 4 months old. I dont want to do that with the baby, but the lack of sleep is something else.....and my poor neighbours!
FWIW- I can change the babies nappy whilst hes on my bed, no sign of waking up.
I go to put him in the cot, he knows. Doesnt matter how we do it, feet first, bum first, on his side, front, he will not stay asleep. -I promise im not shotputting him into his cot, Ive even tried to take a few minutes to gradually move him down.