So I have 3 kids my youngest has a different dad and we broke up before I knew I was pregnant. He’s been involved as much as he wants but he isn’t really as involved as he could be. She’s 4 and sees him at most once a week for a few hours of he bothers to text. He always takes her to his mums or just inside his flat. He doesn’t ever take her out places or makes any effort. However she loves to see him and always asks which makes it really difficult when he lets her down. He will always make excuses why he can’t see her when he said he would. He used to have her on Saturdays but now told me he has football so can’t anymore. Yes that’s right! He chooses to play football over seeing his daughter! He also has friends over when she goes over sometimes. I’m sick and tired of his lack of interest and his messing me around. On the other hand his sister is very good with her and will take her out and do fun auntie activities. I feel like whenever he is with his sister he makes more of an effort. It makes me wonder if they know how he is when they are not around. So he told me tonight that he is going on a family holiday for 4 days and would like to take our daughter. I am not okay with this at all. I asked my daughter about it and she burst into tears and said I don’t want to be away from you mummy confirming what I expected. She has never stayed at his house and hasn’t ever been away from me before. I think he is absolutely crazy for asking given he has no real parental responsibility and hasn’t bothered to try either. I told him that I I’m not sure how she will feel about 4 days it seems quite much and that she’s still abit young. So he then starts to tell me how she will be fine and that it will help build his relationship with her and they can become closer because it will be nicer to spend more time with her than just a few hours a week! Need i remind you that’s all his own fault! He’s had 4 years to get a close relationship with her! He also said she can start staying at weekends to help with her getting used to staying before they go.
I don’t mind her staying on the weekend but I think she is just too young to go away for 4 days and it’s only 3 months away maybe if he said next year it might work out but it’s so sudden. He always texts me to tell me she wants to come home aswell and that she’s asking for mummy and misses mummy so can I pick her up. I also do all the picking up and dropping off.
my concern is if his older brother is going. My daughter was afraid of him for a long time and she couldn’t tell me why because she was too young to communicate what was wrong. I found out that he hurt her privates. He said his finger hurt it when he was picking her up. Naturally I was off my head and sick to my stomach. I told my ex that he must be kept away from her and never be left alone because of it ever happens again or she tells me something like that again ill phone the police. As far as I know he has kept him away. But you can understand my concern if he’s going as it’s his brother and you never believe that your own sibling could be a potential child molester and I’m not there to protect her. I’m so scared for my daughter and i just want to wait until she is older and can emotionally depend on her own for a few days without mummy but she’s not at that age yet. What can I say ? He has no rights as he isn’t on the birth certificate. I really don’t care about offending him but I know he will tell his mum and sister and i don’t want them to think I’m just being bitter because I’m not. This is purely about my daughters wellbeing. I don’t want to let her go on the off chance "she will be fine” and I feel like the msg he sent was to make me feel guilty and manipulative almost. What would any other parents do in this situation?