DD not eating any lunch at school (bit long)

[iheartdusty]

DD is 6. She takes a packed lunch. 2 days out of 5 she eats none of it, or maybe has her drink. on the other days she nibbles a bit. if she get pasta she eats the lot. She usually gets a sandwich, sometimes cold pasta, some salad stuff, maybe a juice or smoothy in a carton (which she inevitably drinks); maybe a yoghurt or a pot of fruit; maybe a fruity bar; occasionally a biscuit or cake. She always manages to eat the 'treat'.

Her reasons when asked: there wasn't time; the juniors came in and we had to go; etc. I don't believe there really is not enough time. She manages ok when it is pasta, and I have checked the timetable at school.

I have absolutely no concerns about her eating out of school. I am quite firm about healthy food and she has a substantial breakfast, a fruit snack at playtime, and she eats her evening meal reliably. Sometimes she asks for a snack after school, but she certainly doesn't come out ravenous. At weekends she eats fine, and has exactly the same kind of food that she gets at school without any complaints. She is healthy, energetic, tall and slim (was quite stocky for a while then grew 'up').

No worries about her at school, she is managing fine. However, surely it can't be good for her to have nothing to eat from 10.00 to 3.30? Her concentration must suffer if nothing else. She definitely behaves very badly if her blood sugar is low at weekends.

Soooo - shall I a: do nothing, she is getting on OK?
b: try to make her eat? But how?
c: do something else?

if u know she will eat pasta give her pasta?maybe she doesnt like sandwiches as such?
i wouldnt worry too much if she was hungry shed eat the foods there to eat ....u dont think shes getting anything from another childs lunch do u? my son used to swap his sandwiches....

Have a word with the teacher. The teacher can talk to the lunchtime supervisors and ask them to keep an eye on what your daughter is eating.

I work in school at lunchtimes, and we are always being asked by parents to do this. We can make sure the child eats part of their main course before their treat, sit with them and encourage them to eat, give them incentives - a sticker if they eat well, for example.

Do you ask her what she'd like for lunch every day? Maybe she'd eat more if she had some control over what was going into her lunchbox - I'm not suggesting she has exactly what she wants all the time, but maybe she could have some input. It might make a difference.

i had this recently with my 5 year old DS, but he was having problems concentrating in thevafternoon because of it. I started to leave out ther treat, and explained he should eat his sarnie, then his fruit, then his yogurt. I also gave him more choice (within reason) of what went in his sarnie. Somedays he has cheese and jam, but it gets him eating! We also stopped nagging him about it which helped immensely.

If you are concerned, have a word with her teacher. DSs teacher checked him for a few days, and according to DS there are kids eating at their desk on a regular basis as they didn't eat at lunchtime. I'm a bit of that though!

In the meantime, be at the gate with something carb laden. DS has a meltdown on the days he hasn't eaten enough.

hth x

thanks DDD, I don't think she is getting anything else. She eats sandwiches fine at weekends, and says she likes them, gets her choice of fillings etc....then doesn't touch them.

my dd2 was a bit like this at first

after a gentle talk with her she eventually said "you give me too much" - i think she was opening the lunch box and didnt know where to start. also she found the sandwich bag fiddly, so i just wrap it in a kitchen paper towel now. i now just give her half a sandwich (or cold pasta, like you) a piece of fruit or a chopped up pepper, and a fruit bar or piece of cake.

does the shcool offer school dinners? do her friends hav ethose?

another thing we did was have 'practice' lunchtimes - i made a packed lunch exactly the same as i did for school and we had it in the house. i could see how she didnt know where to start...!

Oh more messages!

those are good ideas, I didn't realise the teacher could get involved.

she does get some input, but half the time she swears she likes something, so I buy it, then she claims never to have said that. So the list of what she will eat and I find acceptable is not very long. (we don't eat meat, she can't take nuts). I don't mind if she has Boursin cheese every day for the rest of her life if only she would eat it when she gets there.

I think that if she eats a substantial breakfast, a fruit snack at play time and her evening meal as well that going from 10-3.30pm without much food is probably fine for her. She proably isn't really that hungry at lunchtime so she is less likey to eat stuff she doesn't like much but might well eat the stuff she does like (eg pasta and cakes etc). I know I can always make room for something I really like even if I'm not really hungry

My personal preference would be a. Although if her eating out of school linch was poor as well I might say something different.

The only other thing I might try if you get more worried is see if she would eat the school lunches instead but chances are she probably wouldn't

school dinners are possible but then I would have no idea what she was eating, and I am suspicious of their salt content and general nutritional value (sorry, too obsessive).

Np - I've heard that before from other parents too. Too many different things can phase some children so they choose not to eat instead.

thanks for comments everyone, I will try these approaches and see where we get to.

when i thought about it, at home there is no way she wudl eat a whole sandwich, a whole piece of fruit, a piece fo cake, a yoghurt and drink all her drink! so god knows why i expected her to at school!

also she hates opening her yoghurt herself cos it splashes and annoys her (shes a fusspot)

School dinners might be worth trying. Our school has taster days when children who have sandwiches can have a cooked meal, and we almost always find that the children who pick at their sandwiches and take most of their food home are the ones who will polish off every last scrap of a cooked meal.

Ask to see the school dinner menus - they should have them in the school office for you to look at; it would give you an idea of whether the meals are something your daughter would want to try. They might also be happy to let you come in and see the kinds of meals they produce - our school would.

These days school dinners are (usually!) healthier than they used to be, and most schools balance their meals quite carefully and keep salt and fat down.

Thanks WWB, I will have another look at the menus. What you say about picky sandwich eaters sounds encouraging.

My dd2 went through a phase of being upset and not eating very much at about the same age. I put it down to her being a bit overwhelmed by the lunch hall as she is a bit sensitive. It is very noisy and children are coming and going all the time. If dd2's friend finished before her she didn't want to stay on her own or sit with someone she didn't know (especially the 'big ones'!) Anyhow she is fine now but still doesn't eat masses at lunchtime so I don't overface her. We are just about increasing the amount and she is now 7.5. If you are concerned definitely speak to her teacher and maybe the midday assistants?

My ds2 quite often doesn't eat much. I just ignore it. I would give her what you know she'll eat - so some pasta, and a tiny amount of something else, like a mini box of raisins or a few wrapped up crisps. Give her a smoothy every day if you can afford it!If she's eating well apart from this I would not personally get school involved as it may turn into an issue.

I've finally worked out if I send DS to school with Marmite sandwiches he eats them so thats what he has, he has now added gherkins , raisins and peerami to his list and if that's in his lunchbox he eats the lot so now that's what he has everyday. he has a huge breakfast and we work on vegetables and decent food at tea time so now we're all happy.
Sometimes you just have to do what works for everyone, if she likes pasta then give her pasta, its better than what DS eats

pepperami still

that's a tasty selection clutteredup!

lol @ pepperami ,,,,,ive not bought that since my middle son hid an opened one under his pillow unfortunately his bed is near a radiator the smell of dead spicey pig lingered for days and the pillowcase had a huge pool of gunky fat embedded in it

Ooo.. we had this problem with our 4 yr old (and he has intolerance to dairy which makes thinking of packed lunches interesting at times!)

Our approach was to tell the teacher as there were days when he touched absolutely nothing, and what I had packed was perfectly edible. One could always tell when he had not eaten because he was so grumpy and so we told him that not eating anything makes him horrid to be around and why it's important to eat. Teacher was sweet and paid a visit on him for awhile and for her he would do anything We also started him on a school meal once a week which he enjoys as we make it the roast meal day, and for the other days get him more involved in what he wants (which yes does include the odd nuttella or jam sarnie

When he was at his worst, we took to using a smiley chart (useful him being so young) and threatened him with a if you don't eat your lunches how can we take you to Gdads 60th b'day meal??? Had a desired effect, the thought of us getting a babysitter to go out and have fun without him.. but as I say that was when he was at his worst.

My son used the running out time as a reason too.. (think they get sidetracked nattering at the table!!)