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Parenting

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Original poster

Is it ok to ask people not to put pictures of my children on social media

19 replies

AKT · 12/02/2023 11:17

So its what it says really... would you be offended if you were asked not to put pictures of someones children on Facebook? Whether you were sister, grandmother, mother in law etc ...
Long story short a family member has been told around 200 times and that's probably underestimating it!! That we don't want her to just post pics of our kids on her Facebook! We have told her if she ever does wish to that she should ask us if thats ok first? Anyway she doesn't do that just posts away and gets all pissy when she is asked to take a post down...
Surely them being our children I have a right to ask this?

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nurseynursery · 12/02/2023 11:18

I think if it it a blanket rule where no photos are used at all then fine. If they have to ask you each time that seems very controlling.

Whyisitsososohard · 12/02/2023 11:20

I mean you do have a right yo ask but I suppose unless you go down a legal route or stop her seeing your children then cab you force her to not do it or take them down?

Honestly I think parents who do this are massively over the top and often can't properly articulate the risk. It's just some kind of daily mail type reaction to modern life. So yeah it is a bit offensive as it's so lacking in sense.

ToriLynn · 12/02/2023 11:20

We have a strict no photos of our kids online rule that everyone is aware of, we tell people politely, if it happens once, they're politely remind and asked to take it down, if it happens again they just get told to remove it. There's only so many times I'll be nice about my children's privacy.

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Adrelaxzz · 12/02/2023 11:22

History will show that you are right. My teens hate being put on FB and so I never do. I would never put on someone else's child.

Original poster

AKT · 12/02/2023 11:27

nurseynursery · 12/02/2023 11:18

I think if it it a blanket rule where no photos are used at all then fine. If they have to ask you each time that seems very controlling.

I always ask my oldest daughter permission before I post any photos of her. I don't think its controlling at all.
I should probably add the person in question pushes these same boundaries with other family members even after being told "I am not comfortable with that photo of me being online" ...
There are certain photos I just don't want online of my children - I think that's acceptable xx

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Teeshirt · 12/02/2023 11:29

Where do the photos come from? Is the person taking them herself or are you sending them to her? But yes, as parents, it should be your choice entirely.

AbbieLexie · 12/02/2023 11:33

The person posting has no boundaries. Parents wishes should be observed. Any photos I post on social media I ask permission of the parents. None of the photos show grandchild’s face that I have posted. I would be angry with this person flagrantly ignoring my requests as the parent.

Tourmalines · 12/02/2023 22:49

I’ve been in that position, so I don’t bother posting anything. I know the parents don’t like it so I stopped . I would not like to be controlled by having to ask for one here or there either . So I don’t .

MGee123 · 13/02/2023 06:23

Yes it is totally fine to ask this. We did and I expect our family and friends to follow it. I'd be getting pretty cross with someone who wasn't. Ditto others though - I would just have a blanket rule. Easier to enforce and crystal clear.

Soapnotshowergel · 13/02/2023 07:18

Yes. We have a blanket ban, there's no pictures or info of our kids on either mine of DHs social media accounts, we expect all our family and friends not to post pictures and we always decline to be in photos at groups & classes.

I once clicked on a photo from a baby group I attended and within 2 minutes I'd found out the woman's full name, her kids full names & DoB, her DHs name, his business, when they got married, where they got married, what the front of their house looked like. It's terrifying how much people share online. I miss the days when it was just rubbish pictures of your dinner.

plumduck · 13/02/2023 07:20

If they keep doing it then just refuse to be around them.

GoldDuster · 13/02/2023 07:33

That we don't want her to just post pics of our kids on her Facebook! We have told her if she ever does wish to that she should ask us if thats ok first?

I think this could be clearer but a no photos online request is reasonable.

If that can't be respected, a no photos of my kids would be the next step.

shrunkenhead · 13/02/2023 07:47

Have you explained to her your reasons? I appreciate you shouldn't have to and she should respect your request but if she understood it could be dangerous - I'm guessing your reasons are the usual ones - adoption/ fostering etc and if she knew it was important the birth parents couldn't trace the children etc
Some people just need it spelling out to them.

plumduck · 13/02/2023 08:00

GoldDuster · 13/02/2023 07:33

That we don't want her to just post pics of our kids on her Facebook! We have told her if she ever does wish to that she should ask us if thats ok first?

I think this could be clearer but a no photos online request is reasonable.

If that can't be respected, a no photos of my kids would be the next step.

Thats a point. And if she can't do that then lose your shit with her

Original poster

AKT · 13/02/2023 08:07

I feel maybe a blanket ban on no photos at all may be the way forward here...
Even no photos myself ... thing is on my social media page I know exactly who is able to see the photos etc ... I don't know with anyone else's if that makes sense

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Original poster

AKT · 13/02/2023 08:10

Should probably add if tried numerous times to reason with this family member ...
Explained my reasons etc and it's totally been ignored ...
Should probably add the person in question used to work in a school so is very aware of social media policies so like a poster said they clearly have no respect for boundaries or for me & my husband as parents

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MajorCarolDanvers · 13/02/2023 08:21

My SIZl had this rule for a while and we respected it and did not post any pictures.

It's a reasonable request that should be respected.

Copasetic · 13/02/2023 13:02

I would never put another child on my Facebook page without asking. I think it is just an unspoken rule. I would never have a problem with someone putting my child on their Facebook page but have never come across anyone who doesn't check first.

EasterIssland · 13/02/2023 13:15

When my son was born that’s what we asked and he’s nearly 5 years old and nobody has put a pic of him where clearly you can see him who he’s. My dh and I neither post of him where you can see his face (I’ve put of his back but that’s it)

I do think If you want to request no pics of your kids tho then you need to lead by example.

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