Controlled crying experiences? Day 4 and only small improvements

[Nemo87]

No comments about how bad sleep training is please. Please move on to another thread. I previously coslept but it doesn’t work as neither me or my baby sleeps as we’re both light sleepers and disturb each other every hour.

Please can those who have tried CC share experiences if this is normal and if there’s still hope of more improvement? My baby is 7 months for context.

Nights 1-3: the on and off crying at bedtime reduced from 50 mins first night to 9 mins on night 3 (crying wasn’t continuous - using more frequent/gentler timed check ins than Ferber for comfort) however, on night 1 & 3, there was more intense crying after first wake up. He still woke 6 times every night but this is less than before CC. Some of the wakes he put himself back to sleep, others needed a feed (I made sure he was awake when placing back in cot though but he’d settle quickly). I’m still doing 3 night feeds as he used to snack all night long so I don’t want to go cold turkey on breastfeeding as I think he still needs it. He used to wake hourly between sleep cycles but from night 1 of CC, his stretches of sleep lengthened to mainly 2-2.5 hours so bit of improvement there.

Night 4: crying at bedtime went back up to 20 mins but he quickly put himself back to sleep after first wake up, which was an improvement (possibly pot luck though?). The first stretch of sleep was the longest he’s done in his life - 3.5 hours. However after this point, he struggled to put himself back to sleep on some of the wake ups and it took 20 mins of whinging and some check-ins before he went back off. I still did 3 feeds too but the last feed at 5.30am didn’t do the trick and it took him 40 mins of rolling around before falling back to sleep.

Whilst I’m not expecting him to sleep through the night and I’m happy to still do night feeds, I was hoping I’d see more improvement by now. Does anyone have any success stories where it was a bit slow to start with but got there in the end?

I didn’t think sleep training was recommended before 12 months now. Partly because of the enormous separation anxiety spell that comes along at 8 months rendering it pretty pointless.

I've done cc or various methods of it years ago, there's definitely some improvement. Usually I had notable results by night 3/4. I think what makes it harder and perhaps more confusing for your little one is because they're still having feeds. How / when do you decide he needs a feed but other wake ups he doesn't? Not as a criticism, just trying to work it out and help you.

@Mummyboy1 I was worried about that too. It’s definitely tricky but after the first couple of nights, I noticed his cries are different when I think he’s hungry. Also after first couple of nights, he seemed to easily go 3 hours without a feed so I’m using that as a ball park so if he wakes before 3 hours since last feed, we’ll do check ins instead. But I’m definitely finding it hard and I will likely try to reduce over time but didn’t want to go cold turkey after feeding/snacking hourly at night.

Definitely not suggesting you stop night feeds, my own one (bottle fed/ formula) didn't stop until 8/ 9 months by himself.
Okay, so the good thing is you've now been able to distinguish the different cries, which at night can be hard to do. How does he settle himself to sleep for naps? And how much sleep is he getting during the day? What's your rough day routine?

Some babies give up sooner than others. Learned helplessness is a horrible thing.

@Mummyboy1 We’re not sleep training for naps yet so we’re still doing contact naps. Wanted to crack nights first. He’s always been a poor napper and night sleeper. He has between 2-3 hours of naps per day across 3 or 4 naps. If it’s a 3 nap day, we normally manage one nap of 1.5 hours and then 2 30 min naps or a 4 nap day means 4 30 min catnaps. Normally naps between 2-2.5 hours after waking. Aim bedtime for 7-7.30pm but sometimes it can be closer to 8-8.30pm if it’s a 4 nap day as he can’t make it to 7pm without a 4th nap but 4th nap pushes bedtime later.

It's only day 4 and slow improvement is improvement. I'd say you're doing fine. Some babies aren't ready to drop night feeds at that age.

Just remember he's only little. It will take time to settle into the new routine and that's okay. he'll get there in the end

Just wondering how often you're doing the check ins? Are you doing it on a timely kind of basis, or on the sound of the cry? I think in your first post you were talking about him taking 20 minutes with whinging and checkings for him to go back to sleep, which actually isn't too bad!