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Original poster

Am I just shit at this

5 replies

Laurappo · 11/02/2023 18:13

8 month old is just zapping all my energy at the moment.

He has horrible eczema. Been in hospital twice and waiting for an urgent dermatology appointment currently.

Aside from that he's a really sweet baby. He's actually doing really well developmently. Can crawl, sit, and is starting to pull himself up. I'm just struggling big time with the flare ups. I dont need advice on clearing them- we are dairy free, using steroid creams few baths cream etc etc etc (you eczema mums know the drill)

When they happen (yesterday it started) its just utter hell. I can barely touch him without him screaming. He's also teething and has a nasty cough so it's been constant. I honestly can't calm him without hours of trying

I feel like my mental health is taking a real battering at the moment. It's the helplessness of not actually being able to help him. OH is helping but to be honest isn't the best. My family live a few hours away

Is it really this tough or am I just fucking shit at this? I feel I'm doing all I can but at the same time I'm totally failing this little human that I bought into this world and who is reliant on me. Im also back at work so feeling utterly shit about that.

I don't know what I'm expecting from this post. I'm not looking for pity - maybe just a handhold I think. Currently crying on my bathroom floor - as you do

OP posts:
VivaVivaa · 11/02/2023 18:32

Oh darling 8 month old babies are tough as it is, without throwing in what sounds like horrendous eczema. That must be so tough and I’m not surprised you are at the end of your tether. Have a handhold from me. It’ll get better. Fingers crossed your dermatology appointment happens soon x

closingscore · 11/02/2023 18:34

You're not shit at all, you sound like a fantastic mum who's doing her very best in tough circumstances . Sorry you're having such a hard time 💐

Monstermoomin · 11/02/2023 19:58

You're not shit at all. I had PND with my first and I think her eczema massively affected my mood.

Your maternity leave is taken away from you to be a regimented routine of creams, appointments, stoping them from scratching, trying to console them, cautiously trying allergen foods etc etc.

It is horrible, I look back at pictures of my daughter and loads are of how bad her skin was, or her with little socks, mittens, scratch sleeves on to try to reduce the damage (but lots of smiles too around the pain).

You are doing a fantastic job as a mum, but being a parent to an eczema baby (and we're not talking the whole 'itll clear with a little bit of e45' 🙄) is really hard fucking work and it hits your mental health.

Maybe look at some support for you as well, I tried therapy but it wasn't for me as they kept telling me to take some time for myself etc and there was no time for me cos I had to manage the eczema.

Have a look at EOS charity, they're on Facebook too as Eczema Outreach Support members group and it's full of parents and carers of eczema children and babies who you can get advice from, vent and generally just help to pick you up when feeling shit!

I hope your derm appointment comes through soon

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Original poster
Laurappo · 12/02/2023 14:40

Monstermoomin · 11/02/2023 19:58

You're not shit at all. I had PND with my first and I think her eczema massively affected my mood.

Your maternity leave is taken away from you to be a regimented routine of creams, appointments, stoping them from scratching, trying to console them, cautiously trying allergen foods etc etc.

It is horrible, I look back at pictures of my daughter and loads are of how bad her skin was, or her with little socks, mittens, scratch sleeves on to try to reduce the damage (but lots of smiles too around the pain).

You are doing a fantastic job as a mum, but being a parent to an eczema baby (and we're not talking the whole 'itll clear with a little bit of e45' 🙄) is really hard fucking work and it hits your mental health.

Maybe look at some support for you as well, I tried therapy but it wasn't for me as they kept telling me to take some time for myself etc and there was no time for me cos I had to manage the eczema.

Have a look at EOS charity, they're on Facebook too as Eczema Outreach Support members group and it's full of parents and carers of eczema children and babies who you can get advice from, vent and generally just help to pick you up when feeling shit!

I hope your derm appointment comes through soon

This. ❤️ you totally get it. I feel robbed of my maternity. Was just a constant fear a flare up would come on, that I'm having to use steroid cream or spent creaming my baby up and trying to stop him scratching his skin off. The amount of people who just said to me he just needs moisturiser.. honestly the next person I will probably punch. It really does batter your mental health.

Thanks so for your message. And thank you @VivaVivaa and @closingscore so much. Think i just needed a kind word and handhold.

Yesterday was awful but today has been a good day. Flare up seems to be easing off and baby is happily bouncing around the living room.

Tomorrow is another day x

OP posts:
Monstermoomin · 12/02/2023 17:36

Absolutely and a lot of people don't get it unfortunately and will just be like "but you've had a lovely time off with your baby how lucky" etc and it just dismisses all the difficulty.

Yeah, I feel like punching people too ha. I've had times where I've been a bit sarcastic in my answers "gosh, just try e45 or Aveeno and that'll solve it, I guess the dermatologists who have prescribed potent steroids and topical immunosuppressants must have just been having me on then".

Hopefully the flare up stays settled and you're not waiting too long for dermatology 🤞💐

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