Desperately need help with 2.5yr old DD sleep

[BlueBritish]

Just for a bit of background my DD has been a fairly good sleeper from about 7mo. She’s used to self settling at bedtime and has always had her projector on with some relaxing sounds.

The last few weeks have just been a bit of hell really, I’m so tired and I’m guessing she is too. Firstly, putting her to bed is hard as she’s saying she’s scared of the light (projector) I’ve tried leaving her the hallway light on and even putting a lamp in her room but that isn’t helping. Im having to stay with her until she falls asleep, which is completely out of character for her. DD is waking at least 4/5 times a night, asking for me, wanting a cuddle, screaming the house down. I’m trying everything to get her back to sleep and it only seems to happen if I sit with her even in the night whilst she sleeps. I know this is probably frowns upon but there have been occasions where I’ve put her in bed with me as I am absolutely knackered at the minute and I do work myself.

any help would be very much appreciated as I’m at the end of my tether.

Mine is only 18 months but I do have to stay with him until he is asleep, which is actually less stressful than trying to get him to do it alone. If he wakes during the evening, I settle him in his room until he is fully asleep again.

If he wakes after I’ve gone to bed I bring him into my bed and he stays with us until morning, I get much less sleep by trying to keep him in his room.

Would you get so many wakes if you just brought her into your bed straight away?

Not sure if that helps, just wanted to say that there is no rule book that says they must settle on their own and stay in their bed all night. I’d always go with the path that leads to the most sleep for you - it won’t be like this forever.

Went through this with DD. Was exhausted and in a dark place. Now she sleeps with me, generally sleeps well and only wakes once for a cuddle (which I secretly love).

Felt really guilty when I first put her in my bed, but then I realised that's because of what other people thought. Once I stopped caring I actually really enjoy it now. She's only little once and I'll miss ot when she's older and wants to be nowhere near me

Is she still napping?

Following as my 3 Yr old DS also wakes multiple times! If he would settle in my bed I'd bring him in with me in a heartbeat but sadly doesn't work for us. Are you against having her in your bed as you don't want to or because you think it's not the "right" thing to do? Hopefully someone else has the magic answer but in the meantime just do whatever works so you can both get a sleep, unless it involves illegally drugging her then there is no wrong answer IMHO.

I personally find the rigid expectation that very young children should be content sleeping alone, in a different room to their parents bizarre. Most people who have co-slept for any length of time (where DP has then slept in a spare room), will report that the lack of physical closeness affects or bothers one/both fully grown adults. So it shouldn't come as a surprise if a naive brainstill forming notions about the worldfinds themselves uncomfortable with the isolation at times (or all the time in some cases).

I don't believe providing the comfort your child is seeking can ever be a "bad" thing in that sense.

My 2 year old (27 month old) still needs me or DH to sleep. I've tried leaving him but he gets too upset it is stressful for everyone. Currently he goes to sleep in our bed and we move him into his bed when he's asleep. He will wake in the night and often just walk from his room to ours and I just pick him up and plonk him in the middle of us. I know it isn't ideal but I think I will just roll with it for now as we all get some rest and I am pro sleep! As frustrating as it can be some nights (why won't he just sleep through) I know one day I will miss hearing his little footsteps coming into our room and his little body squished against mine x

Forgot to say my DS also has a night projector with moon and stars (that he used to love) and he would go to sleep listening/watching it in his bed (with me sat in the room). One day he just said 'no moon and stars Mummy'and that was that! He won't have it on anymore either.

Hi all, thanks for all the replies. @VivaVivaa some days she does nap and others she doesn’t, that’s been like that since before Christmas time now.

@pzyck i don’t mind having her In my bed, I actually enjoy having her sleep with us, only problem is that she doesn’t always sleep In our bed, for example, when we put her in the other night she was up for 2hrs before going back to sleep. Also my partner works a lot of of early mornings, his alarm is usually set for 4:30am and if she’s in bed with us that wakes her so my partner is having to stay in the spare room when she’s in our bed and it’s not healthy for our relationship either.

@DisneyGirl2329 my DD is screaming the house down when she wakes up, I don’t think I would mind if she was just walking through to our room tbh. I don’t want to jinx it but she slept all the way through last night 7:30-7, she only woke once and cried and I just stood at her door and she went back to sleep. My mum has brought her round some ‘fairy dust’ (it was just glitter in a box) and my mum told my DD that it will help her sleep at night and not be so scared so we sprinkled a little bit over her before she went to sleep and I honestly think it’s done the job.