A 2 year old who doesn’t want to sit in the pram or walk

[Hope54321]

He wants to be carried. What do I do in this case? I sometimes force him into the pram. Recently he has been taking off the straps and hanging out almost. So today I took him out and got him to walk and I ignored the 25 tantrums on the way back home.

After two buggy lovers, our youngest hated it. I used to let her walk. When I had capacity, I did just carry her short distances. For days when I couldn’t carry her - eg when we went to Legoland - I took the buggy and told her at the beginning of the day that it wasn’t a carrying-day and if she got tired at any time, she could go in the buggy. She was exhausted by the end of the day when we walked back up the hill to the car but she managed to walk every step and didn’t get in the buggy! She’s got brilliant resilience now and her parkrun time was quicker than mine by the time she was 6… I put it down to learning to be a bit uncomfortably tired aged 2/3 but determined not to get in that buggy!

I have a 2.5 year old and sympathise! I think you have to be strong that there are two options, walk nicely or pram. If he doesn’t walk nicely then no option but to force him into the pram. Hopefully after a few (embarrassing in public!) days he will get the message.

Argh I had this!! It’s so stressful! I had to make a change when I got pregnant with DC2 as I knew I wouldn’t be able to carry DD around. I took the pushchair everywhere (even if we just went across the road to the park) and if she asked to be carried, I stood firm and said it was either pushchair or walk. If not, we go home.

there were times I tried forcing her into the pushchair but I wasn’t strong enough. She seems to have super human strength when it comes to not wanting to sit in the pushchair or car seat.

Mine were always on my back in a sling

I like a short wrap with toddlers so you can fling them up while you cross roads etc & let them walk when they can, and don't have a huge bit of cloth to drag about with you but you have different carry options.
Lots of people like soft structured carriers for toddlers because it can stay on while toddler hops up & down.

silly games & songs got mine walking and they all loved getting to choose/direct the walk

It will pass but it's rotten when you're in the middle of it 💐

our buggy hater hated any sling/ backpack even more than the buggy!
It was hard but she was soon older enough not to need it and I refused to physically force her into buggy, as I hated being forced to do something myself as a child.

Backpack worked well for both of mine until they were 3.5ish and massive.
They liked being high up and once they're in, they can moan all they like.
Alternatively we had a little trike they could be strapped into.
The pedals could be switched on, so they could pedal or off, so they wouldn't catch feet at all.
They were strapped in and the back could recline too.
As soon as they could walk (10-11mo) they hated the pushchair. Hard times!

Mind was like this. At 2.5 we bought a tiny balance bike. Took a couple of weeks to get the bang of it and he was away. Pram trips were then just for occasion so use after that and became a bit of a novelty. Scooter could work too.

😆 that's toddlers for you!

they're all different though!
we didn't use pram/buggy at all but they chose sling over being in a shopping trolly because they could see better from over my shoulder

Mine lived in trikes with handles you can push

Like this. You can get ones with rain covers

Aw. That sounds lovely. Definitely think slings/back backs worth a go as it will work for children who want to be physically close to you and be higher up that they can be in a buggy. It was even useful for us, as I’d take the sling with me and say walk, buggy or sling, as she would then reluctantly choose buggy if totally exhausted. I think for ours it was because we had an age gap before having a third and she hated being “the baby” and wanted to be like her older siblings. Looking back, I should have tried a buggy board, which I had used for the older two. I think she might have gone for that and I could have put a teddy in the buggy and her on the buggy board.

Two options, the pram or two legs. Scream until you’re hoarse kid, you’re not getting carried. Tough love OP. Sounds like you did well the other day 👍🏻

Thank you! I had people staring at me and a woman game me dirty looks lol. He was screaming off the top of his lungs and dropping to the floor over and over again, but I was firm and refused to carry him. Every time I attempted to put him in the pram, he resisted and used all his strength to get out.

I have this. Its terrible!

I once forced her into the pram when she refused to walk and she vomited on herself from scream crying and hyperventilating. So I just carried her.

Because we couldn't have her vomit on the way to nursery as she would be excluded for two days because of the sick, so I just carried her the few minutes walk from the bus stop. I cant force her to walk because its a busy road and she already finds drop off sstressful. I have just accepted this for now.

Funnily enough, she suddenly wanted to go in the pram every time we left, to the point I then started worrying about her not getting enough exercise......

And then this weekend she walked everywhere.

Sometimes its a case of just wait for the stage to pass.

this is a situation where you are the boss. pram or walk are the only options. ignore the tantrums and keep going.

Backpack sling if comfy for you - Boba do a toddler carrier.

If that is not an option I would try and make the buggy more appealing and reinforce the straps if they actually try to climb out. So keep a selection of toys and swap them out, play games like i-Spy, an attachment like the ELC steering wheel (I know ELC is gone but they come up on marketplace a lot)

Scooter or trike or balance bike perhaps?

I also have a buggy which is a bit more "compartment" shaped than seat-shaped, big and roomy - an old Britax B-Agile (similar shape to Babyjogger City Mini) and it's so sturdy (and old) that I don't mind if they climb all over that - at this age they like to stand up holding onto the backrest. They will then sit down when they get tired or fed up. Of course you have to be careful when going around corners, and I get them to sit down on public transport.

Something chunky like the Hauck Shopper, Joie Litetrax or the older Graco types would possibly work similarly - you need a FF only buggy with a crossbar and a nice deep roomy seat, where the seat is attached directly to the frame, not a reversible unit you take in and out, and not an umbrella fold, they are too light and the seat too small.

Something to push along like a toy trolley or pushchair can help with walking.

I’m pregnant and have a 2 year old so had to stop carrying her a few months back. Thankfully she does love to walk but on the occasions she wants to be carried I just present two options: pram or walk.

If she can’t pick then I’ll choose one for her but she seems to have got the message now that mummy can’t carry her anymore.

Well done OP. The vast majority on here would have caved in and 'talked to him about his feelings' or some other mushy BS. You took charge and taught him who is boss, and gave him some boundaries. Great job, and keep it up!

I used to have people divert just to come and comment on my toddler’s tantrums… usually when it happened in supermarkets. It crushed me with my first toddler but by the third I just offered them silence back and give them a mental score out of 10 for snideness of their comment… and appreciated the lovely people who gave me a wry sympathetic smile… as they’d clearly been there and got the badge. So far… I found the screaming toddler 2/3 stage the hardest. It does pass.

You are in charge op not him. Walk with preferably reins or buggy. That's the only choice. Just stuck to thst and he will have to comply

Anyone looking disapproving at a child having a tantrum is a stupid arse and always to be ignored.

It's your way or the high way. Toddlers need to learn you are in charge not them.

Parenting isn’t about power and showing your child “who is boss”.

Parenting is about bringing up a child to cope and deal with the real world. This includes setting healthy boundaries and sticking to them by being consistent, but also acknowledging it’s important children know how to handle their emotions and feelings.

So it’s okay for him to be sad that he can’t be carried, and to express that, but he does need to get home so if he can’t choose pram or walk the choice would have to be made for him.

We went down scooter/bike option often. Obviously need to be reasonably safe paths/roads. Also playing games to try and make it fun. That only works when you have quite a bit of time. I have carried her a bit or done a piggy back however it tends to be short distances and put her down and making it into a game. Stopped bothering with the buggy and she's got better at walking.

Someone upthread has recommended if already, but we've had our 2 year old in a smart trike since he turned 1. I hated the stroller we got after he was done in the travel system and once we tried him in the trike, he never wanted to get in a pushchair again. He's got a good feeling of independence in it (even though I'm completely in control of it) and it's so easy to use and move around with. He's getting to the point that he'll be a little big for it soon and we'll switch to balance bike or scooter, but will miss the smart trike!!

YY to a smart trike, I got one for DD the Christmas after she turned 1, as she'd started refusing the pushchair and it was a nightmare. That worked for a bit. Then when she was approaching 2 we gave her a scooter and she likes using that, but not all the time. Now she is 2.5 and frankly a PITA about most things but at least we have options! As the weather improves I'm going to dig out the balance bike and see if she takes to that, it'll be another string to our bow