Are you a fun parent?

[snoodles]

Just that really. Are you a fun parent? I feel like I used to be a fun Aunty, but now that I have small children I'm no fun! My husband is way more fun with the kids, plays with them, doesn't get too annoyed with their all day questions, makes craft stuff with them.
I find myself getting annoyed at things they do and it's well, annoying! I want to be carefree and enjoy them, is that possible as a mother?! It probably boils down to having to do lots for them, feeding, nappies etc

Quite lightheaded, but also slightly not.

I am a fun parent! I do all the holidays, outings, after school treats etc cos DH is working. I often feel bad that I get to have all the fun.

Decided not a fun parent. I do spend time playing every day but it's usually around housework. Half his outings to get some air are just errands.

He's still my bestie though ❤️ and it's gotten easier as he gets bigger

I was , mine are now adults , but it helped that I only worked very pt (1 or 2 nights a week ) and my husband , despite working very FT has always been hands on with housework .

I thought I was but it turns out I was a strict terrifying authoritarian! Now they’re young adults I’m ‘fun’ because I’m far more laid back now. We regularly hang out and have a laugh together.

No, I thought I would be a Daniel Hillard type parent (but not incompetent), turns out I am 100% Miranda Hillard and Lois Wilkerson.

I had to Google this, but totally understand. Also hilarious! Think this is me too unfortunately

Sounds like part time working might help to make me a fun parent perhaps? I work full time, husband does his fair share of every thing but I of course have more of the mental load, he tries his best but I delegate. That's what is taking up my fun parent time I think!

I often feel like this and when I go to say no to things I try to pause and think why am I saying no - if it’s dangerous then that’s simple but sometimes it’s because I don’t want the mess so I try to be ok with that. Also it’s easier to be fun when you’re out of the house and not trying to do all the jobs at once I find

I'm more board games/crafts/imagination play/woodland walks whereas DH is more sports, tickle fights, high energy fun.

So I suppose I'm not!

Mine are 8 and 4. In some ways I'm fun! I read to them (DH does voices better but I do try), we play video/board/card games, craft/colour, bake, I take them on days out, take them to the park and library...

But I don't do imaginary play. At all. They do that at school, with each other or with DM who has endless patience for it. I have zero! So I'm very much not a fun parent in that sense, but I like to think I make up for it in other ways.

I think doing anything like board games, craft etc is fun. If it means you are enjoying time with your child and they enjoy spending time with you. I love playing board games with my 5 year old but only when the two year old is doing something else as he likes to sabotage the game!

I think I enjoy the children more in the summer when we can be in the garden and they have garden things to do!

I don't enjoy taking them for days out by myself, no idea why. I do love going as a family though.

@snoodles

DD loves playing board games because she gets 100% of the attention from one of us! And same here: the other parent has to keep DS occupied as he still tries to ruin the game if he gets wind that he's not involved (and he's 4!), but we take turns and that seems to work.

DS likes board games but he's a very sore loser (DD was too, thankfully she's grown out of it) so we're taking a break at the moment!

No. I wish more than anything I could let myself go more. Relax, forget about everything else that needs to be done. But I just can't. I'm constantly on edge. Everything feels forced so our family time consists of expensive days out where we are entertained constantly so that no one notices how shit I am at it. They just think I'm fab because I arrange these fun things to do, I'd love to be one of those moms who loves to spend hours painting and baking and then stomping in muddy puddles together. All I'd be thinking about the entire time is the tidying up afterwards.

In my experience, when there is one fun parent and one un-fun parent, it's because the balance of necessary/responsible tasks is off.
You want to be fun but it's difficult to relax into it because you're thinking about nappy changes, what and when to feed, do you need any shopping, are there clean clothes ready, etc. Your brain is set to think about what needs doing first before what would be fun. I'm guessing your DH comes home and falls straight into fun parent mode? Because he's not responsible for the tasks and life admin?
If you can strike an equal balance whereby all the stuff that needs doing is done by you both equally, then you should both be available equally for the fun stuff too.

Same as you OP I am not a fun parent. I try to be but like you I get easily annoyed. I think I am tired and touched out a lot. Working FT plus being the default parent and doing majority of housework means sadly having fun is the bottom of the list! Like yours my DP is the fun parent here.

When at home, probably not!. im mum who does a bit of fun stuff but also moans at them the get shoes on / not flood the bathroom / STOP FIGHTING / eat carrots etc etc.

This is exactly right.
I do the bulk of the shopping and although we food a food plan for the week, it mostly falls to me. But as he can be home late at times, it's 'easier' for me to manage. However; saying that he does his fair share of the rest of household things that's I don't need to worry about. The car, bills, bins etc.

I hope so!! Ds is 17 months and we go to toddler classes and stay and plays 5-6 days a week which I actually do enjoy doing with him 🤗 We also go swimming, to play areas and to parks in between these things/when we have spare days. I also enjoy planning family days out, trips and parties. I’m also in charge of gift shopping and seasonal activity planning 🥰

No. Fun was never the goal. I'm organised, attentive, caring. That's good enough.

Yep - I am definitely’mum’ rather than a playmate but I also play stuck in the mud, crack jokes, play silly games etc - I definitely feel that I have the space / energy to do the fun stuff because DH takes on a pretty equal role in discipline and is consistent with ‘house rules’ etc. So we both get to do the fun stuff as well as the nagging etc.

I'm a fun parent - I work full time, as does DH, which means I make a concerted effort for us all to have fun when we're together.

My parents were very much not fun - almost to the point of being anti-fun. My "D"M abhors silliness of any kind, so I probably go out of my way a bit to make sure that DS has some magic in his life. I love to do holidays, outings, adventures, after pre-school treats etc.

What I don't like is stuff at home, like baking and crafting. We have most of our fun out of the house. DH makes a mean duplo city/train track though...

I want to be more silly with the children, they laugh so much when I am not serious! I have family that don't like silly behaviour too so always fell under pressure to make the kids 'behave' but in fact they are just kids!

I'm going to make more of an effort to be relaxed this weekend and enjoy the kids company and not think too much about the loads of clothing that need folding or that we need to leave the house soon and husband has made a massive breakfast for the kids but I can't rush them!

That's great :)

'carefree' mother of small children is a nice fantasy isn't it?!

I was more fun before DH died and I was in sole charge of children inc. eldest with SN, our home, cooking every meal, bringing a wage in…I’m currently crushed and no fun at all.