15m old. We need to stop the milk don’t we?

[Exworrier]

15m DS. Was sleeping 7-7 with a feed at 2/3 (5oz milk) not too shabby
Now sleeping 7-4/5am waking up screaming and will not go back down even after milk.
Last night he woke at 10pm and screamed until I gave in with early milk. He then stayed awake until 1am crying on and off until DH gave in and gave him even more milk. Finally slept at 1.30am but only until 5am, I got 4h sleep last night.

I honestly don’t think anything is wrong, he's not teething, not ill and eating plenty during the.

I think he has become reliant on milk to get back off to sleep. He also has it before any kind of sleep as a wind down (our bad habit)

How do I break this habit?! he doesnt fall asleep on the bottle, he just uses it I guess to wind down and feel comfortable to go to bed.

I’m thinking of just chucking all the bottles away and offering 2 cups of milk during the day and not putting milk anywhere near his bedroom to try and brak the association. I am scared though.
Any advice v much welcome, my job is very physical and I am dead today. Can’t go on like this.

Is he teething my son was a terrible sleeper at 15 months

He was -two first molars- but he isnt as far as I can tell at the moment.

Jesus the typos. That says it all really 🥲

Mine had milk in the night til they were 18 months then suddenly stopped waking up and that was it. We decided just to go with it as it meant more sleep.

@Bobbybobbins I think in our case it is hindering his sleep. Last night he was tired but couldnt go back off without a LOT of milk.
He is only ever sleeping 9 hours at night and 3 during the day. Seems on the low side and he is grumpy all the time.

Yes see what you mean, 9 hours is quite low at night.

Does he have solids for supper? Mine had at least 1 Weetabix - sometimes 2!!

Have you tried offering a bit of water instead in the night, in case they are thirsty? I’ve heard that can sometimes help - perhaps it might start to break the association with milk and you can eventually start to cut it out completely?

Sorry this is the OP but I seem to have a different account on my phone.

@Eastereggsboxedupready He eats tons! Dinner typically is at 5.30 and he'll have whatever we have and clear his plate, then he has a yoghurt, fruit and a rich tea biscuit as well!

@Bobbybobbins
@Ticketytackety We've tried. He goes absolutely ballistic, gets into a state and we end up giving him milk anyway.

Needs filling up before bed!!

Just bumping this thread for any more suggestions.

I am running on 4-6h sleep a night and I feel like death. I really need to sort this baby out.

Last night he slept 7-3am and that was it 🥱 he slept for 2h between 9-11.30 today but he's refused an afternoon nap. He is crying all the time and grumpy but he will.not.sleep.

Oh no! I really really feel for you. I’ve been trying to think around this problem. Does all the milk lead to very wet nappies- or leaks ? Could that be waking him? If so, have you tried using a pull up over a normal nappy? Just remembered that DS1 used to leak a lot in the night which woke him, then needed ages to resettle, and this trick helped with that issue. Was just wondering whether something was waking him - leading to you having to give you more milk and so on and so on.

Really hope you have a better night tonight .

On the same note - is there anything else you can think of that could be making him wake? Could he be cold or anything? DS1 always loved to be very warm at that age and ended up sleeping with socks etc inside the sleeping bag. Or do you use a white noise machine and could you restart it when you go to bed - anything like that? Possibly clutching at straws!

Appreciate your thoughts @Ticketytackety but all those bases covered already sadly. His nappy is moderately full by morning but he doesn't leak. I'll try the pull up though can't hurt at this stage!
We now have the heating come on at 3.30am but it doesn't seem to make a difference. His room is always 19/20 degrees so fine and he has a thick sleep bag and sleepsuit on. Our white noise machines are mains ones so they run all night as well.

Tonight we have tried giving him his milk 30 mins before bed, then teeth, book, comforter etc. He cried for about 5mins, I went in and gave him a pat and said "shhh bedtime" and he went to sleep after that. It's the 4am wake up that will be the real test. Bottles are now banned from upstairs!

Sorry to clarify on your OP - he's started sleeping 7-4/5 generally and then had a really bad night last night?

If I've understood, then try and not throw the baby out with the bath water. For things to go that badly pear-shaped, something was wrong last night. He didn't just completely forget how to sleep.

5am wake up, could be genuine hunger. Could need to go to bed later if he's napping in the day. Could just be toddler bullshit, mine loves waking up at half 5.

@Kitcaterpillar I know in theory it probably sounds alright / like normal toddler sleep but I know he is knackered. He is dreadful to be around all day and everything is hard work. Even getting him dressed leaves me sweating 🤣 and although he eats well it's a frustrating process trying to sit and continually offer him things until he will accept some of it. People are suggesting giving him more food but honestly there are not enough hours in the day!

Anyway an update. Last night we gave him last milk at 6.15 downstairs, up for bed at 7. Went down fine. Woke at 4am, my husband went in and did the "shh bedtime" and pat every 5/10/20mins. He stayed awake til 5.30 and then went to sleep and slept until 7.30. we didn't give any milk. I'm hoping we can continue with this and see if he will eventually stop waking and sleep til say 6.30. 🤞

Ah, no, I wasn't dismissing you. It's exhausting, and I think it's worse when they've been sleeping well because you're put of the habit of being tired.

That sounds better though. Hopefully just a little blip that resolves itself. Mine had a week of waking up 1-3 and then for the day at 5. Never got to the bottom of it but was very happy when it ended!

Is he on 2 naps a day? I'm sure mine was having 1 nap at about midday for 1-2 hours at that age. Might help him sleep through if he drops a nap - obvs ignore if he's already on 1 nap!

Mine has tea around 5.30 too and used to have a cup of milk before bed but dropped this a while ago (he's now 2). We never fed him in the night after he slept through from about 7 weeks though so maybe milk and a snack before bed and less naptime in the day it might help?

Could well be his teeth. Molars can be a nightmare and bother them for ages before they start to break through. I'd try a dose of Nurofen before bed to see if that helps (much better than Calpol for teething pain). People can be funny about giving pain meds for teething, but I always figured if it were me I wouldn't want to go to bed with banging toothache.

I personally also think that if they're waking and need a bottle to go back down they're hungry and just give them a bottle. Perhaps there's a growth spurt on the way? What about trying a dream feed before you go to bed?

Also if they're teething sometimes the bottle soothes the pain, something to do with the pressure on the gums.

Thanks guys. I think he is ready to go down to one nap but he isn't while he is waking up at 4am as he's rubbing his eyes and yawning by 8.30. It's a vicious cycle. I think we need to go to one nap in order for him to sleep longer but he needs to sleep longer in order to not need two naps iyswim!

Last night he slept 7.30-6am and that's pretty good! I can take that!

If he’s drinking all the milk/most the milk then he clearly is needing it due to hunger. A toddler that age will not drink the milk if they aren’t hungry

theyes still every chance he could be teething. Just because you can’t see the teeth, doesn’t mean it isn’t happening

feeding for comfort is also as equally important as feeding for hunger. I personally would just continue with the milk. His needs aren’t meant to be convenient for us, they don’t wake up and think oh I’m really hungry but mum and dad are sleeping, I’ll just switch my hunger off