I don’t know where to start really……
I have a lovely DH and 3 brilliant DC. I am
35 years old.
I have a good relationship with one of my siblings ( sibling 1 age 32)
and the other sibling (sibling 2 age 42) I cut out of my life a few months ago due to lies, drama caused monthly by them for attention, entitlement and this caused me to become stressed and depressed. It drained the life out of me. Every month is a new drama.
My Mother and Father split up year ago when I was in high school. Both now remarried. But they don’t have a good relationship.
I was informed by another family member (sibling 1) that sibling 2’s ( the sibling I cut out of my life )child had been self harming. I reached out because I wanted to be there for the child ( we still talk regularly as they are a teenager) the child informed me of their unhappiness especially in the home and from the Mother. Stating that they lie all the time (sibling 2). I had a long chat with Sibling 2 regarding the situation and got no where as it was always someone else’s fault. Again I walked away thinking nothing has changed and this validated my reason for cutting her out of my life. I called my Mother and I was devastated about what has gone on regarding the self harm. Her response shocked me. I don’t know why as sibling 2 has always been my Mothers favourite. Sibling 2 can do no wrong in my Mothers eyes and if sibling 2 says jump, my Mother asks how high. My Mother has regular babysitting trips for sibling 2 when she hardly sees her other Grandchildren. Both myself and sibling 1 have been bed ridden with flu etc and all we get is a text or a call which is fine we are adults and both have support at home from DH and DC. Sibling 2 has a cold and my Mother will drive 3 +hours to come down to look after her. It has been like this for years. My Mothers response to the self harming of her Grandchild was all about sibling 2 and how they must be devastated and how can the grandchild do that their mother ( sibling 2) I ended up saying that she needs to be there for her grandchild and to stop wrapping my sibling in Cotten wool. Now it’s been a few days it’s like nothing happened. I text and call the child each day to check on them. I just don’t know what do to regarding my mother. The whole thing doesn’t sit right with me. My DH 100% has my back and says we are all too close and involved and to take a step back. Do I cut her out ? Do I step back? Do I tell them what I really think? Sorry for the long message.
Thank you