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Parenting

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Original poster

Parent evenings with new baby - how?!

38 replies

k80pie · 09/02/2023 03:35

Hello, we have a 5 year old DS and a four month old DD, who is only recently starting to become a bit easier after an intense first three months. DS is starting school in a couple of weeks and there is parents evening on Monday night at 6pm.

To those parents with a 5 year gap, my question is - how do you juggle things like this when you have a little baby? Does it mean that only one parent can go to these things now, instead of both of us? Or do you take baby and child along? Or leave older child with grandparent til you get home? Just curious how other people do it!

Additionally - DD is ebf so does that mean that I have to sit these things out now, if I stay at home with baby and child while DH goes to the evening by himself? Would feel sad to miss all the new school things I would have loved going to as a new school mum!

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KickHimInTheCrotch · 09/02/2023 06:46

4 year age gap here. The baby just came everywhere with me until he was at nursery.

Superfrog3 · 09/02/2023 06:47

Take the baby ... To my 6 year olds last parents evening. We took my 2 year old who played with toys in the classroom and a baby who was in the sling. Teachers are normally more than accommodating with siblings and often like to get to know the siblings. My middle son now goes to the nursery and all the teachers talk to him because they know him from being a baby.

If your not sure though I would ask the teacher what they think is best. All schools will take different approaches.

namechangeforthisbleep · 09/02/2023 06:49

I took mine while breastfeeding. No big deal, it's not long

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AIU · 09/02/2023 06:55

I would leave older child with grandparent and take baby with both of us - give baby a feed before going and baby should hopefully sleep and if not there are two of you to sort baby and one could leave if needed. Parents evening are only generally 10-15 minutes long.

Maireas · 09/02/2023 06:58

They'll be online now, you can do it on your phone. Just pick a suitable time, get the other partner to mind the baby. If not, don't worry.
I've had parents apologise for a noisy baby or toddler in the background, it really doesn't matter.

Original poster

k80pie · 09/02/2023 07:04

Thank you everyone, really great to read about all the different approaches.

Baby is quite unsettled when we are out (not happy in carrier, pram or car - she will be easier when she’s old enough to face out/sit up) so I guess we are in a tricky phase just now - so prob best to leave her at home with one of us and older DC. The evening is more of a ‘talk’ to a room of parents rather than parent/teacher interviews so baby might be disruptive. To the poster who suggested I wax overthinking. Unfortunately fussy babies make life tricky and force you to overthink!

OP posts:

Sucessinthenewyear · 09/02/2023 07:09

I took the baby with me in the sling, oldest at home. Now they are 3 and 6. DH says and starts bedtime routine and I go to parents evening. There is no need for you both to go. The parent who goes can tell the parent at home.

FlamingoQueen · 09/02/2023 07:11

I would go, but the minute baby starts to make a noise leave the room. If they can be settled, then go back in, if not, leave DH in there. Do not feel ashamed for taking a baby into a school. But, do not sit there with the baby crying - staff and parents remember ‘bad’ behaviour for a long time 😂

Beseen22 · 09/02/2023 07:18

I never thought I'd be the parent taking the kids to parents nights but in reality we have no grandparents willing to give up an evening or close enough to offer baby sitting and my friends with kids slot didn't time in with ours. My DH works mon-fri 9-5 so doesn't get to be involved with school stuff much so really wanted to be there which I think was pretty fair and I wanted to be there too. Our school is small and in a fairly low income area and there are a lot of social concerns so they go out of their way to engage parents as much as possible so they had parents night in the gym hall with each teacher having a desk and then a big floor jigsaw puzzle and a TA and the HT were in the corner doing the puzzle with the kids who came.

TenoringBehind · 09/02/2023 07:31

we always had one parent staying a home with the children, one going.

I think at primary school age you can get away with taking a baby though if you really want to.

WonderingWanda · 09/02/2023 07:42

Take the baby with you, most parents with young primary age children will have accompanying babies, toddlers and siblings. I would feed the baby before going and hope they are happy to just sleep in the pram, mine were always fairly content as long as they were being rocked. Or in a sling if your baby prefers that.

anomaly23 · 09/02/2023 09:29

8 years between my 2, I took dd with me.

HappyAsASandboy · 09/02/2023 10:57

In my family, my DH or my mum would have looked after the older siblings and I would have taken the baby to the meeting. This is because I deal with most of the school stuff and so think I should be the one to go to the meetings, and because I don't like leaving my babies at home when they're as young as 4 months.

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