Not sure how to react to what my 9 yr old son’s teacher called me to tell me this afternoon. Would like some different perspectives please?
She told me that yesterday he was overheard saying quite loudly amongst friends (lunch break): “I’ll have sex with your mum” in a bantery way.
I’m shocked as although we aren’t a prudish family and he’s not babied, sex is not something we’ve talked to him about yet (we’ve taught our kids about consent from v young but in a general way rather than specifically re sex). He is young, he has anxiety and ADHD and tics (motor not words, so far), but he is also bright, funny, popular, sensitive and kind. It’s so out of character.
I asked him and he says he doesn’t remember exactly what he said, he doesn’t know where he got it from, or why it came out of his mouth. I explained that those are the three things we need to understand before we can move on.
I’m worried about where he heard that kind of thing. He only has access to YouTube Kids and we monitor it closely. He says he can’t remember if that’s where he heard it.
He has an older brother (13), who is Autistic and who does quite excitable online gaming in the bedroom next to DS9 so can be heard, but I don’t believe he would ever use language like that even in banter with his mates as it crosses a line I don’t think he would cross.
I assured the teacher that I’d discuss it with him and try to find out more. My first reaction after shock was worrying where he’s been exposed to language like that. I’ve since realised that the school may raise a safeguarding issue? Would that happen?
Am I over or under reacting?
What should we do now? He says he understands that it was inappropriate and he’s upset with himself. He’s scared of it happening again. Obviously I told him you must never use sex as a threat, and never talk about mums (or girls or women) like that.
WWYD?