When did you go back to work after mat leave?

[Februaryschild2023]

Feeling a bit guilty because, although we could afford it, I'm thinking of going back to work sooner than a year - maybe when my baby is 8 or 9 months. I had a year off with my first, had terrible PND, and think it would help my mental health if there was an 'end' point sooner, or at least a point at which normal life resumed.

Whenever I've mentioned to other friends they wax lyrical about how they could have never left their baby earlier if they didn't have to, and I feel a bit rubbish. It would be part time, if that makes a difference. Has anyone else gone back sooner for their own sake rather than for money etc?

3 months. Both times. Definitely needed it for my mental health and I'm a firm believer that the happier you are, the most you can face and cope with anything. I don't judge others who have longer, or even become SAHM and I don't expect them to judge me.

Personal choice. I gave up work when I had DS. Was a SAHM until he was 2.5 and was then desperate to get back to work!

Six months with my first and 9 months with my second. I could have afford to stay off longer but I wanted to get back to work.

A year plus accrued holidays. I could never have gone back earlier and think a year isn’t nearly enough time.

Four months with DC1 and five months with DC2 and not a minute too soon. We had zero help so they went to nursery pt and I retained my skills, sanity and now my pension looks great.
Twenty years on never a single regret. We all bonded well enough.

4 months with first, 7 months with second, I took the max leave I could with both

I'm having a year plus accrued holiday, but honestly, I'm starting to wish I wasn't. I'm in some awful limbo where I can't bear to leave her, but every day is HARD. She's 9.5 months.

13 months with first and it was way too long. 7 months with DS2 and DH is taking shared parental leave so it seems like the best of both worlds.

8 months both times. I was counting down the days - mat leave was the worst period of my life.

I had 14 months with my DS and would 100000% go back earlier next time, I was so bored by the end.

I don’t think you can take “what other people did” into account it’s a personal choice and to some extent depends on personal and financial circumstances

I had 9ish months off with my first and 13 (including all accrued holiday) off with my 2nd.

I'll be going back next month when he's 3 months. I'm ready and don't feel guilty but have also had negative comments, I'm bored out of my mind and it's the best decision for both of us.

I went back after 13 months. Didn't want to go back and finding it hard - I miss my baby and dislike the monotony of a set routine. I wish I had more at home and a more flexible schedule tbh!

14 months and 12 months. Was harder with first baby, spent first couple of months mostly crying in the toilets but fairly ok with second. It's different for everyone, i know people overjoyed to go back as soon as they felt physically recovered.

6 months with both, went part time. Finance wasn’t an issue but I found being FT mum hard and needed the change. Don’t think it’s had a negative effect on DC (now teenagers).

Thanks for the replies, it's good to know there's a fair range of 'normal'. I think in my friendship groups it just seemed like everyone took a year as default and to do anything else seems like an admission of failure. It's good to hear of other people going back early (not just for financial reasons of course, which I know many have to do).
Honestly, I like the balance of part time work much more than full time at home, I got so lonely and bored last time, and I missed the routine of normal life

6 months each time. That was the norm at the time. Normality of work really helped I think . Just do what works for you. It sounds like a good plan .

I took 6m then my husband took 3m (he’d also taken 2m spaced out when I was doing Mat leave so we could all spend time together which definitely helped break up Mat leave for me!!). So our child went to nursery at 1yr. I was happy to go back when I did and felt right for me. I didn’t spend anytime crying in the toilet, to be honest I didn’t really think about it, was just in work mode!

Personal choice.
With dc1 I went back at 6 months because my h left me so had no choice. This was not detrimental to either of us.
With dt I took 1 year off because childcare for three dc was astronomical.
Being off for the year was right for my family but going back to work was good for my mental health which I don't feel I realised till I went back to work.

7 months with first but doing a full year with second because I felt 7 months was too soon for me. However... the last wee while has been really tough with both children and I do feel my mental health is suffering a bit so it might have been better for me to go back at 9 months.

You know you though, do what you feel is best, not what your friends tell you.

6 months with my first but husband stayed for another 6 months.

11 month with my second and wished I did 13/14 months. We could have afforded it but I thought I was ready to return which I wasn't.

50+ years ago, I went back to work when my daughter was 6weeks old. That was the maximum maternity leave then.

guess which group fought for employers to pay for more? Yep, the group known bySunaki as the Union Barons.

and he's clearly not noticed that many of the leaders of unions that are currently on strike are women

10 months with first and 11 with second. Def well ready for it at that point. Though started them in nursery but earlier to make sure they were settled in

7 months and 14 months. I wanted longer off second time but absolutely don't feel guilty about going back at 7 months the first time. DD1 loved her days with her childminder and we still had time together at weekends and holidays.

Two months. I had DD overseas where maternity leave was six weeks, but I took some holiday on top of that. Ex had left so I needed the money too.