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Original poster

2 parents working FT with kids in school - how do you do it?

32 replies

Hvfrruh8 · 08/02/2023 18:05

Hi,

Wondered how people cope with school hours and holidays for 2 full time working parents?

Currently, we have two kids in nursery which is cripplingly expensive. But doable. They are there from 8.30-6 ish, which works well with us working from home but would have meant shorter work days if we factored in the commute.

When they start school, we think there are breakfast clubs and after school options. But no idea how reliable or good they are. What are you experiences?

How do you manage holidays? I have noticed there is lots more for older kids but in the first few years of school there seems to be less available.

Is it possible to do this without doing down to part time? Are the nursery years the easiest, even if expensive?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Sohappyrun · 08/02/2023 18:08

You need to pick a school with breakfast and after school clubs…I’ve found mine reliable so far, and cheap! Can one of you work from home at least part the week? That helps as well. I’ve found where I live there are lots of holiday club options for reception age and up. I remember thinking the same as you OP as we don’t have family near to help out, but it’s turned out ok..and you use your annual leave to cover holidays - split leave if needed, so you don’t take the same days off.

Newnamenewme23 · 08/02/2023 18:10

Breakfast and after school clubs.

what we also did was negotiate staggered starts- i would start at 9 after the school trim while dh started early. Then he’d pick up from school while I worked late, and vice versa.

or childminders are an option.

holidays there are clubs, we usually did a week in a sports club, week in a dance/drama club, week each annual leave, week with grandparents or both have a week and go away.

often you can arrange with parents in similar situations where you agree to have theirs one day, they have yours another.

user567543 · 08/02/2023 18:13

Good wraparound care matters - as does the number of kids using it. My dd was always sad as she as virtually the only one from her year using holiday club and wraparound as other kids seemed to have GP or pt working parents so choose your school carefully. My younger dd has a school where a little group from her class often use holiday club and wraparound and it helps,
I'm not leaving her with a mixed group of kids she doesn't know.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Childcare & nursery Families General education General parenting

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 08/02/2023 18:13

Both compress full time hours into 4 days, but seperate so that covers 2 of the 5. Then holiday club for the other 3 each school holiday week. We also trade childcare with other parents so i'll have kids on my day off and vice versa.

We also have grandparent and other family help if needed

yoshiblue · 08/02/2023 18:14

Agree to check your catchment primary has wraparound care! A friends school does and childminder places are rare as!

We both work full time but each of us compress into 4 days. That helps as two of each holiday week has cover already. Then it's holiday clubs, plenty around here from reception onwards. We have no family help and we also stagger a lot of our holidays to cover school holidays too. Still get at least 3 weeks off together for holidays away.

It's doable but takes a lot of planning.

4thonthe4th · 08/02/2023 18:14

My sister uses a childminder for before & after school and school holidays. She gives her holiday dates at the start of the year so plenty of notice.

MaverickGooseGoose · 08/02/2023 18:16

Breakfast and ASC but check the hours, ours finished at 1730 so had a childminder instead, also waiting lists.

Holidays thank fuck DH is a teacher which isn't helpful to you.

Logburnerperils · 08/02/2023 18:19

I start at 9 to take kids to school. My OH finishes at 4 to pick them up from after school club. Costs about 120 a month so much cheaper than the nursery days.

user567543 · 08/02/2023 18:19

Also think even with ft, a lot of people have flexibility - mine comes home at 4 but usually that end of the day it's meetings and they potter about in the background

Scottishgirl85 · 08/02/2023 18:19

Nursery years are by far the easiest! We use mixture of school clubs, childminders, holiday camps and grandparents (who live 300 miles away but come and stay to look after kids for 1 half term and 1 week in summer per year). We also stagger a bit of our holiday between us. It works well but you have to be very organised and plan ahead.

museumum · 08/02/2023 18:21

Our breakfast and afterschool club provider runs holiday club too. Ds went there his first few years but now (age 9) prefers to go to camp at the local sports centre. My job is very flexible and mixed wfh with travel and dh works around my travel days.

Chicci1 · 08/02/2023 18:22

Nursery days are by far the easiest. They’re designed for working parents. All the kids there were in the same boat and much less guilt in those days on my part. We rely on wraparound care from school and taking annual leave and some unpaid leave to cover the gaps. No grandparent help which would be the one thing that would make a huge difference.

GiltEdges · 08/02/2023 18:22

In our case…

Independent school with before and after school provision
Holiday club
DH and I using all of our annual leave

TheOldLadyOfThreadneedleStreet · 08/02/2023 18:24

I used a childminder , I dropped at 8 and picked up at 5:45, exactly the same as nursery. She took the kids to and from school and lived so close to school that they were able to go to quite a few school based after school clubs too. She also took them all day long during a lot of the holidays. For several years we tried to synchronise family holidays with the childminder! Nonetheless we did have a few days every year where we needed to use holiday clubs. DS enjoyed these and wasn’t at all worried that he didn’t know anyone else going. DD really didn’t like them because she didn’t know anyone. So occasionally my sister helped out. Also I was friends with another mum and she would take DD for a day or so, and I would have her kids on other days. I used to plan out the summer holidays with military precision several months in advance. Now the kids are older teens so it’s no longer needed. My childminder was brilliant, I was so lucky.

MintJulia · 08/02/2023 18:25

I'm a single mum and the trick was to work, and live within 5 miles of the primary school. And to choose a primary school with an afterschool club. I'd drop ds at 8.40, go to work, then ds went to after school club and I'd collect him at 5.45.

I covered school holidays with 5 weeks annual leave plus the local council's holiday clubs. We tried a commercial sports camp but DS said it was too regimented and not much fun.

The most important think is to book everything in advance and nail it down. I would have Easter organised by the middle of January and the summer sorted in April.

LeanIntoChaos · 08/02/2023 18:25

I work 8-4. Little two go to breakfast club from 7.45 and then asc until 4. Then pick them up and still have time to do clubs etc if they want in the evening. Elder two are a little bit more flexible as they go to secondary school. Holidays, I cover with a bit of annual leave. Elder two are left at home as at secondary school. Younger two go to a sports holiday club. Sometimes family might do a day or two.

It works..... Until they are sick.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 08/02/2023 18:27

Childminder who collects from the school.
Breakfast club at the school, CM picks up from the school and serves dinner. School holidays cm has them full time (apart from her own AL), then she works out a years fees and splits it into 12.

Only downside is she doesn't take the childcare vouchers/tax free childcare but we are past that age now.

SheilaFentiman · 08/02/2023 18:28

Nursery is absolutely the easiest, I’m afraid

Rainsdropskeepfalling · 08/02/2023 18:29

We moved house and then went through a school appeal to get into a school with an after school club. Before that we were using taxis for pick up after school to take DS1 to an after school club a couple of villages over, but the day the taxi took him to the wrong place was when I knew we had to move.

We had a breakfast club for a month before it was cancelled as it wasn't financially viable.

DH would do the drop off (school gates opened at 8:35), I'd do the pick up at 5:55.

Holidays were organised like a military campaign

CatOnTheChair · 08/02/2023 18:39

Before and after school was the "simple" bit.
It was the school holidays that did for us. 9-3 is useless for holiday camps if you need to work as well.
I quit for 5 years and am now earning half the amount, term time only. Nursery years were much easier.

itsgettingweird · 08/02/2023 18:41

As you can see from above there's loads of options.

As you have 2 currently in nursery I assume you'll be quite better financially once 1 and then both leave!

So there's the option of dropping to 0.8 each. So each have different days off.

Choosing school with wraparound care.

Using a childminder. Personally I found this easiest option for infants as they gave dinner and you could also use them during holidays.

Use of holiday clubs during holidays.

Save annual leave for 1-2 weeks at same time if you want to go away and 2-3 weeks separately to cover the rest if you don't use a childminder who can do holiday cover too.

Alongside this running the house like a military operation! Batch cook. Online food order. Boxes by door for each persons shoes and bags.

Don't be afraid to use screen once home for them to decompress and you to cook dinner and then enjoy family time at the table or bathtime etc if you use a CM and they've already eaten.

And also do what makes life easier for you. So many people seem to go for competitive fewest items of uniform buying. If you need enough t shirts for 1 a day and possibly to cover some of next week then get a pack of 7 or 10. So this for all items. With 2 the next will always get wear from it anyway!

And frequently remind yourself that eventually childcare gets cheaper and easier and you'll get through this

Echobelly · 08/02/2023 18:45

First few years a patchwork of me WFH one day a week, childminder/after school club and during the holidays help from my parents and sending kids activity camps. We were lucky to have a good and inexpensive one nearby that ran most holidays.

Then we had two years of au pairs, which worked really well for the most part, but it requires a spare room and being prepared to have another person in the house and post Brexit I have no idea how one finds someone - COVID ended the au pair era, and by the time things had cleared up somewhat we were working from home mostly and the kids were old enough to both get themselves to and from school.

Duckeggbluesy · 08/02/2023 18:47

Good wraparound care - breakfast club and childminder for afterschool pickups. Unfortunately the school doesn't have an afrlter school club but with a mixture of work from home and flexible start and finish times we manage between both of us.
Some parents use a childminder for morning and afterschool and with the 20% government subsidy it works out a lot cheaper than nursery for 2 children!
Hope you find a solution that works for you x

SheilaFentiman · 08/02/2023 18:50

Longer post now.

CM after school whilst the second was still in nursery. She covered school holidays too. She didn’t do dinner, though.

then school opened an after school club just as the second started, so we switched to that and Barracudas in Easter/summer. Other holidays we juggled.

both worked 4 days a week

Nottodaty · 08/02/2023 18:51

BC and ASC
Holiday clubs - mixture. Ones at our local sports Center often the cheapest, we mixed these with drama, and specific holiday camps. Saves the complaints of it being boring but they are more expensive. Friends sons loved code camp and my two enjoyed pony and dance camps but these options not cheap in comparison to some options.
As a family two weeks leave together in summer and one week at Easter, half terms odd days split between us.

I also buy enough t-shirts/shirts for the whole week, a couple of bottoms and jumpers to cover a whole week.

Hope they ok with school dinners to take the free ones for ks1. Pack lunches are a pain!

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