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Toddler screaming and newborn

2 replies

Alitlebitsleepy · 08/02/2023 07:56

We have a 2.5 year old DD and a 4 week old DS. DD has become increasingly challenging and although some of this may be down to baby’s arrival, she has been behaving this way for quite some time so not sure if it’s entirely linked.

DD screams and screams and screams. It feels like our days are filled with almost constant screaming over everything (the door should be open, the light should be on, wants mummy not daddy to get her water, wants X person to sit over there, wants to do X all by herself). Every single thing imaginable causes a huge tantrum. We deal with this by accepting the feeling and holding the boundary (‘it’s okay to feel cross. It’s not okay to slam the door.’).

aside from this being stressful for everyone, I am concerned about the impact on DS. Surely being around this level of screaming can’t be good for his development? Our cat has started over grooming her leg and we think it is stress because of the screaming. Will our baby be feeling this stress too? The trouble is, I honestly don’t know what we can do to stop it apart from riding it out.

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Alitlebitsleepy · 08/02/2023 07:58

I should add that DD is incredibly gentle and loving towards DS (she talks fondly of him and strokes his head etc, brings him toys). I am aware that even though this is the case, the situation itself might be causing her lots of stress.

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mdh2020 · 08/02/2023 08:59

Imagine that your DH came home with another woman and said ‘ we are all going to live together and I love you both’. How would you feel? In addition, DD is 2. The good thing, for her future health and development , is that she is able to express her jealousy.I don’t think the screaming will affect your baby at all.
To put forward a contentious idea (which might save your sanity), if you cuddle DD and say nice things and she doesn’t calm down, put her on the other side of the door ie in the hall until she calms down.

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