Breastfeeding overwhelm

[Itsmeitscathyivecomehome]

So I am attempting to breast feed my dd2. She is 5 days old. Breastfeeding didn’t work out with dd1.

im feeling really overwhelmed by the sheer frequency of feedings needed, especially with a toddler to sort out too. I don’t really know what I’m doing,

can any experienced bfing mums help?

is it normal Im for her to feed every hour?
how long on each breast?
do I offer both breasts every feed? She tends to fall asleep after about 20 mins on one breast
any tips for managing constant feeding and toddler needs?
any bfing tips in general?

At the moment it all feels like a mountain ahead of me.

Hi OP, I'm not a lactation specialist and would suggest you get help from your health visitor etc. But!

I am breastfeeding my 3rd dc (all bf) and I think it's normal for them to feed this frequently at this age as they're building up your supply, and their stomachs are so tiny they can't take in a huge feed at once. It's normal to fall asleep on the boob too, but as dc gets bigger you could try and wake her by tickling toes, taking off layers of her clothes etc and offer other boob. Once their stomachs grow a bit you want to encourage a big feed so she's not just snacking constantly! My dd is 12w and feeding every 3 hours or so in the day, trying to stretch it to 4 hourly with a dummy but is hard work and I'd rather her settled. It is hard with a toddler though, I ended up wandering around the house feeding bubs while dealing with toddler but that's not easy first time round bf.

Also baby wearing in a sling is a lifesaver when running around after other siblings. They get the closeness and security of you without you having to hold them sitting down the whole time.

Congratulations on new baby, OP!

Yes, newborns eat often, especially in the evening/night when they can eat on and off for hours, known as ‘cluster feeding’. This builds your milk supply, so it’s best to feed your baby on demand.

Personally I don’t switch breasts in the same feed unless baby is fussing and rejecting the first breast; I just alternate them in feeds. If one breast feels too full I offer that one first.

No advice re balancing baby and toddler, I think many women use a sling, however I couldn’t crack them.

Breastfed babies like to sleep on the breast too - if you can’t sit down holding the baby for hours it might be best to go to a sling library, try different ones and see if you find one you like.

This is all super normal. Try not to worry about the next feed - just follow her hunger cues. You can’t overfeed a breastfed baby - they feed for other things than nutrition - the world is scary when you’re so new and being close to you is giving her comfort and security.

Yes they feed like mad in the first few weeks to get your supply up. Dd would also cluster feed in the late afternoon/evening so I would have boobs out constantly. It DOES settle down within a few weeks. I used to offer each breast in the beginning and then once Dd was a bit bigger stick to one. I used to use a hairclip on my bra strap to remember which one I used last - then just squeezed a boob to work out which was full 😂

Feeding one handed whilst doing other bits becomes a handy trick. I could bf Dd and make dinner (away from hot oil!) eventually.

Have confidence in yourself. You’re both learning at this stage but you’ve already done 5 days which is amazing! My top tip is to never give up on your worst day. And then if you can do that it becomes easier and easier every day.

op

Hang on in there. My DC fed every hour at times too. It sounds v normal.

Get a sling!!

And be kind to yourself. Pop older DC in front of the TV for a bit. This is hard times!! Hang on in there tho.

Bf is wonderful if you can do it. So bonding. So lovely (when all goes smoothly). Get support though.

Very normal.

Look up the NCT infant feeding helpline or your local breastfeeding group. It can really help to talk through this with qualified people.

Cluster feeding is baby's way of getting your milk established. It won't be like this forever.

As for the older one, TV is ok. They can watch CBeebies.

Depending on their age you can also explain what you're doing. My son was 2 and I told him I was giving baby her snack / lunch / breakfast etc. after a couple of weeks I could play with him or read to him while feeding too if I needed.

If you have a partner around on leave, they need to take over all household and toddler chores so you can focus on baby.

Hi Op,

Feeding hourly is very normal in the beginning, at birth a babies stomach is cherry sized then at about a week babies stomachs is apricot size. Boobs are like a factory working on supply and demand so lots of little feeds are normal and help to build your supply.

I've only ever fed from one breast per feed but lost of people feed from both. If you're getting at least 6 heavy wet nappies and 2 dirty thats the best indicator you know they're getting plenty. I found stripping my little one down to nappy to have skin to skin and fully wake her for a feed would sometimes mean she would have a better latch and feed.

I don't have any experience of looking after a toddler too but I did wear my baby in a wrap carrier or sling to get things done. And once you feel more confident with latch it's easy to feed while they're in a carrier.

Olivia Hinge on instagram is really helpful and has a post called the six week shit show that might be helpful.

It absolutely gets so so much easier! If you have a local breastfeeding support group you might find it helpful to go to.
Congratulations and I hope you're taking it as easy as you can 🤞🏼😊

As others have said it’s very normal at this stage. You’ve done the really hard bit now. The feeds will start to get longer gradually and by 6 weeks it’ll be easier and by 12 weeks it’ll be. Doddle.
I kept my toddler busy with the iPad or tv, sometimes read stories, I bought him a few new toys, and enlisted others to help occupy him.

Just some solidarity to you OP - my baby was born on Saturday and even though I breastfed both her siblings I'd forgotten what it's like and they're all different anyway! Mine will only feed a maximum of 10 mins but sometimes take the other boob as well so maybe 20 mins total. And dh is sick so I'm having to do a lot more toddler and 6yo wrangling than I bargained for. I don't have answers- it's just damned hard - I can read/tell stories while I feed but can't have a hand free yet, I think that's tough so early on when your breasts are so huge and baby so tiny.

It sounds like you're doing brilliantly, if you want to, ring your midwife and ask them to come round. Cry, whatever. I don't know about you but since I had my toddler services have slimmed down - they made me an appointment for day 5 to go to the midwife clinic but they haven't come round and I haven't heard from health visitors at all. But if you want help to feed, I would ring the midwives and tell them you need them to come round, you can't be wrangling a toddler and baby in to them or to a support group, tell them they need to come and see your set up and watch a feed or two and help you make it smoother.

Good luck!

Sometimes I have one boob, sometimes both, sometimes I'd go back to the original. Kind of whatever felt right for that particular feed tbh.. Sometimes she'd feed for 5m, others 20, other times she'd pop in and off for hours (evenings). I fed a lot in the sling as I could still get out with my toddler, and feed her whilst i pushed my eldest one the swings etc.