Baby plays up when I’m around

[Milly899]

FTM here, I am really struggling. Baby is 8 months old.

I am on maternity leave and baby is with me the majority of the time. I do the night feeds etc because my partner works long hours and night shifts so makes sense for me to do it.

Our baby has gone from an amazing sleeper to all of a sudden over last few weeks being very very clingy, fussy at night, refusing to go in cot, won’t sleep, and only wants to be on me. If I leave the room and leave with dh she screams for me.

My MIL babysat overnight the other night and I was worried because of how poorly she’s sleeping, and lo and behold baby was an angel. Slept, didn’t cry.

she reckons that baby plays up to me because she can. And DH agrees.

I don’t know what to do. Is this right? I don’t know what to do.

I could have written this post myself. My boy is 8 months old, and is exactly the same. I’m putting it down to “I’m his person”.
When I’m around, he needs me, and there’s nothing wrong with that, it just means we’re doing a good job.
Separation anxiety starts at this age too.
It’s so difficult sometimes, just remember it won’t be forever. ♥️

Your baby is not playing up what so ever. Gosh, it’s so sad and worrying that some people still think an 8 month old is capable and has the brain capacity to manipulate 🙄

you are the mother. Babies are biologically meant to be with us which is why your child…. Wants to be with you.
It is also around this time separation anxiety starts to kick in.

Baby's behaviour is completely typical for their age. Shitty comment making out you are to blame!

My only worry would be the cognitive abilities of your MIL and the babies father if they think that an 8 month old can 'play up to someone'. Jesus Christ. You don't need to be an expert to know that an 8 month old can't yet walk, talk or reliably get a spoon into their mouths. They hardly consciously 'manipulate' their parents.

OP, sorry to sound harsh, I just feel cross on your behalf that the people close to you who should support you at saying this kind of rubbish.

Your baby is tiny! They want you! It is utterly, utterly normal for babies to a) have phases where separation/sleep/settling are harder than others and b) to want their primary caregiver more than others - especially if they smell like milk.

Your baby is not playing up what so ever. Gosh, it’s so sad and worrying that some people still think an 8 month old is capable and has the brain capacity to manipulate 🙄

you are the mother. Babies are biologically meant to be with us which is why your child…. Wants to be with you.
It is also around this time separation anxiety starts to kick in.

^spot on. Your baby isn't neurologically capable of playing up! Have you read about child development?!

They always do what they’re “meant to” when MIL has them don’t they 🙈 I’d never have heard if mine was crying for hours or wouldn’t take a feed. Ignore MIL and DH. We’d all be a bit miffed if they’ve gone from being a settled sleeper to not all of a sudden, but as others have said it’s perfectly normal (teething, separation anxiety etc). It’s not something you’re doing or haven’t been doing. Babies just want their mum a lot of the time.

My dd is 6 now and this also happened to me when she was a baby. OH and his mum telling me I give in, Im causing the baby not to sleep through making her clingy blah blah blah, made me feel like a shit parent. But its true you are your babys person, they need you. Sadly partners and their mothers (not all Im sure) just seem to take offence to this.... Im so sorry you're going through this, I can only imagine how you are feeling. Do your best to block out their noise, cuddle your baby and give them all the you they need. Sleep routines will change and will definitely, eventually be back to how they once were. It really has nothing to do with anything you are doing!

Your 8 month old doesn’t have the cognitive ability to ‘play up’.

Sleep gets wonky at 8 months. Up and down. One of those things. Babies famously don’t sleep very well.

Firstly, sarahockwell-smith.com/2015/11/18/what-the-heck-goes-wrong-sleep-wise-at-8-10-months/

Secondly, you are the safe space where they can let go of all of their feelings so you get the "worst". Sucks but it's a good thing. If they're feeling a little anxious at night and you're there they seek comfort, if not that won't and bottle it for another time.