Hope your little boy is ok , they really don’t know how to cope with their big feelings, and end up hating feeling out of control and beside themselves with feeling angry, and sad and unable to cope. It’s one of the hardest things to deal with as parents, too, and hope you and Dh are doing ok, it’s very upsetting to see our children struggling, angry, lost in their emotions and being out of control.
For us, when our Dd was dealing with outbursts and we were just trying desperately to find ways to calm the situation and also avoid triggers, we found her diet played a big part. When we tried getting back to home cooked and simpler meals , mostly additive free, and removed foods from our DDS diet that had numbers in the ingredients list , the change in her behaviour was just wonderful. We watched her go from being unsettled and prone to outbursts, to a so much calmer and happier child.
So, for my daughter, we started to get bread from bakery that didn’t use preservatives , we stopped all yoghurt as it had an ato 160b, we bought plain biscuits and relied on websites to guide us, such as fedup.com
For our children we found that learning to talk to them later when calm, helped us remember not to try to reason when they are out of control, and later we were able to more easily teach him about how to communicate his feelings. But it all comes down to learning to firsthand recognising, and then understanding and dealing with his emotions better, in their own way.
In time, although it may not seem that way, your little boy will learn the triggers that might make him upset and lead to feeling angry , and you can discuss a compromise so he could cope better with giving up his favourite game/ activity.
When our children were young and having a meltdown, it was the hardest thing to get through, for both them, and us, and sometimes you do feel at a loss, when nothing seemed to work. Our children are very levelheaded and loving young adults now. Hope you all get some rest and feel better soon, it’s tough going through this.