New job? Or stay put

[Lmgify]

I’m on my second mat leave due to go back soon. I’ve got two very young kids at 2.5 years old and 11 months. Their small age gap means I don’t qualify for any free hours and putting them in childcare will pretty much eat up my entire wage.

I work in a steady local government job in a really rural area, been there for nearly 10 years. The job is fine, people are lovely and they’re so family friendly as well, flexi hours and pretty much 100% WFH. I’ve agreed to go back to work for three days until my eldest qualifies for the free hours.

However even before I had my eldest, I’ve been feeling a bit stuck with the job, there’s no progression and I just don’t feel that motivated anymore. Also I feel like we are struggling for money esp with two stints of mat leave and then having two kids in nursery so I want to earn more. So I’ve been thinking whether I should find a new job. Due to the location of where we are, I think if I find a new job I’ll have to drive around 1.5 hrs to the nearest city (hopefully they’ll allow hybrid working) but I’ll likely have to work full times if not 4 days at least. My husband is a shift worker so I need to be prepared to do all drop offs and pick ups.

Wanting some advice really, would you look for a new job in my situation? Or stay put? I’m not sure if I’m telling myself to stay put because I’m lazy or because I really should wait till the kids are older. On another hand, I’m very jealous of my friends moving on in their career and I feel like mine has stagnated.

If you don't have any other backup, I would stay put. We don't have anyone else either and I actually moved jobs between children because I found a role that was more flexible. Both DH and I need to commute just because of where we live and honestly it's the one thing I would get rid of if I could.

I don't want to sound like you should make all the sacrifices though. Could DH look at his arrangements? Fixed days off for example?

On your office days could you actually manage a 3 hour commute and doing the drop off/pick up?Does your DH do set shifts so you could work round each other? Do you gave any other help? Would you actually be any better off once you've factored in extra travel costs and longer hours in childcare? I've got a reception age child and I'll be honest working round the school is far more difficult than nursery. We had two days notice that after school club wouldn't be running one night the other week. The flexibility I have in my job is frankly priceless at the moment.

Could you look for other ways to improve your career opportunities - volunteering, studying alongside working, a new project in work you could get involved in?

I would definitely go for a new job, but not one that you’ll have to commute long distances for when your kids are so young, unless your partner has a similar home-based and/or flexible job.

I’ve got a 4 and 2 year old and have taken a more part-time job and hope to step up more at work when they are older. Right now flexibility is key for our family.

I would say there's no harm at all in registering on a few jobs websites and seeing what's out there. As pp says it may not be worth giving up your current convenience / flexibility, but you won't know until you start looking. After 10 years in the same job it's completely reasonable to be feeling in need of a change.

Thank you all for your time to respond. I think I’ll keep an eye out for something close to home (but I know that it is very unlikely as it’s a very niche role). Unfortunately my husband does unsociable hours and we have no family support at all so I think I might go back to work first and see how I feel and reconsider once both kids are settled in nursery

Commuting is just lost life.

I only have one child who's at nursery and I can't give up the flexibility in my current job.

I did fancy a change when I was due back I soon learnt I couldn't be office based with a commute, as like you, I was the one to do drop off/pick up and pick up early if unwell.

Try find something closer to home if possible or completely WFH.

You'll be less stressed on a morning without having to do a 1.5 commute! That sounds pretty awful

I think I would suck it up for a while - you have the idea job in terms of the flexibility of looking after small children. At this age, time is what you need and you may find commuting in particular to be too big a stressor.
Could you instead use your time to study for a new qualification? It may give you an oomph in your professional life and in terms of your own mental health and drive?
I turned down a job for extra money because at this age, the flexibility is worth more than money - I would probablye nd up having ot spend more of it in wrap around care.

I would go back to your local, flexible, familiar job and give it at least six months to settle into working with two small children. It's really hard and you may find you don't have the energy or head space to take on a new role just now, never mind with a commute.