What to do with the kids for the day when they're so very, very tired

[BecauseTheOnlyWayIsUp]

So I have three kids, 5, 3 and a 4 month old. Absolutely full of beans 99% of the time, especially my 3yo who generally runs EVERYWHERE. We finally made it out on Saturday for the first full day (9-4 kind of thing) since baby arrived, going back to our long woodland walks we used to love so much pre baby. The kids loved it and I felt like a million bucks getting everyone out in the sunshine at last. Today however, train wreck. Kids were so tired we decided to keep them home, wash the car, eldest wanted to play Lego, fine. Except the fought ALL DAY, wound me and DH up purposely at every opportunity, generally just little wotsits all day.

We've noticed the weekends being much harder since eldest joined reception and 3yo is more active at nursery. They absolutely dote on our baby so there's no obvious jealousy they're acting out on, if really does seem to be exhaustion.

So what do we do? Me and DH go to bed feeling really low that we've either not done much with the kids (were done with movie days after the winter!!) spent all day trying to break them up, or let them down.

What do you do with little ones to have a good day when they're so obviously very tired?

Do they get any alone time? As in alone without siblings and maybe even without parents? It could be that now they are in environments where they are surrounded by other children that they are feeling a bit peopled out and so are tetchy with each other?

Similar age gap between my 3,although eldest now 9 and youngest now 4. I think pretty quickly you have to accept 3 is very different from 2 when they are still all so young, so don't ladden yourself with guilt about what you do now versus before. In many ways I was lucky that lockdown took the option to do much of a weekend away.
Also, it might be a case that you need to divide and conquer a bit, so take 1 or 2 kids out for smaller activities like a cafe to get cake, library visit.
And I'm sure when they get a bit older they will spend time of a weekend playing in their rooms, so the requirement for you to organise will be less.
It all gets a lot easier at some point xx

Separate rooms?

Id go swimming. Always a winner, especially if you time it right. At that age I'd try to go later so they came home in their pyjamas. Or early in the day to get their big energy out.

If yesterday was big today can be more mellow. It doesn't have to be a massive activity, more something to break up the day.

Put the TV on and give them some snacks.

Swimming.
Id be surprised at that age if they really were tired. At the sight of a playground my tired 5 year old would miraculously have a burst of energy.
Swimming is a good idea.
Mus kitchen in the garden?

Generally we still try to get out. Not always all of us but a bit of fresh air breaks up the day. Something small like walk round to local swings or scoot to the local shop or library, usually out an hour max. Divide and conquer, days not leaving the house at all, tend to lead to arguing.

Ours were the same today. We let them run around a field in the morning then just vegged on the sofa watching a film in the afternoon. Not my finest parenting moment but they'll be easier tomorrow for it.

We split shifts so our eldest/youngest get one on one time with one of us. With three you could do alternate weekends, so your dh takes out eldest and then the 3 yo the next weekend.

It doesn't have to be taken out though. Just playing a board game, reading, drawing but without the siblings in tow.

Do they have separate rooms? What about 'quiet time' in their rooms for half an hour to an hour after lunch? With books, soft toys, a story tape maybe? If they're really tired, they might nap.

I think children don't get enough chill-out time or alone time these days, without constant mental and physical stimulation. They don't have to be on the go all the time.

However tempting it is, get out for at least half an hour during a tired day. And yes, with three, the chance for that being 1:1 time is definitely a plus.

for us, the “lazy days” involve taking the football outside to the nearest park area (v close). Enough exercise to make them physically tired.

swimming is also a winner but watch the ratios, increasingly pools here demand 1:1 for under 5s which might not work with your age gaps.

Mine often listen to an audio book in their room and play Lego on a day like that.

Chilled day at home is nicer in your imagination than in reality when it comes to little kids.

I try to do something with DD in the morning then we can have a quieter afternoon. Swimming, walk to the park, cafe for a hot chocolate, any of those to get her out of the house. Then in the afternoon a movie, Lego, crafting, baking, gardening...

Definitely a short trip out (an hour or two max) to a local playground or something else low key like feeding the ducks if there's a river nearby. Preferably before lunch.

Then perhaps something like making a blanket fort in the afternoon. Then they can chill in it with books/toys when their energy dips later in the afternoon.

Don’t do 1 full day out and nothing the next day.

do 2 smaller things. A walk to the park with a hot chocolate and biscuits in a flask one day.

A trip to the garden centre - ours has fish and pets shops and The Works outlet so buy a new book or craft set.

plenty of chilling in between with some 1:1 with each parent where possible. That might be washing the car, doing a puzzle, bath time etc. Starting reception is exhausting. Having a newborn is exhausting. Pace yourselves x

Why the pressure to “do” something?

you don’t have to do something. They’re all tiny. You went out yesterday- so today they have an at home day. They don’t have to be organised and chaperoned. Playing is very valuable for them.

im possibly a bit old fashioned but if they are all tetchy today then my answer was always earlier bedtimes. It seemed to work- I had similar age gaps to you. Also it’s nearly half term so they are all tired. It’s hard work being little.

I agree with always going out. Even a half an hour around the block. The days where you don't go out are always the hardest. Supermarket and pet shop to see the rabbits. It doesn't have to be a massive project.

I used to separate them - not as punishment, just say: You're not getting on today. DS1 go and build some Lego in your bedroom. DS2 do a drawing at the kitchen table (or whatever they liked doing.) Had to keep giving them activities every half hour. After a few of those I'd ask if they wanted to play nicely together again and out of boredom they usually said yes.

I also did their main meal earlier so dinner was a snack.

Always get out for a bit to have a more relaxing day. Park or a nature walk to feed the ducks. Something low key, fresh air and greenery.
Then toys and tv for the rest of the day.