I don’t think I can do this anymore

[Noeyeclare]

I am really struggling with parenting my 2.5 year old.

He doesn’t eat any real food, he doesn’t sleep and he is just non-stop as all toddlers are. I don’t even get a break at bedtime because he will only sleep for max 2 hours at a time before waking and needing settled (but that’s another issue).

My DP works long shifts so I’m usually by myself. We’ve been outside but I’m struggling to play indoors.

I never thought I was an angry person but I feel so angry and frustrated most days and have a short fuse.

I naively never expected parenting to be this hard and not sure how much longer I can do it.

I work part time and genuinely look forward to going every day so that I don’t need to think about parenting.

it's a nightmare when they're that age. I promise you it gets better - I found that age 3 was a turning point.

You're not alone, and there's nothing wrong from enjoying work as a break from the tedium of dealing with a pint-size dictator. It will pass.

I promise it will get easier OP. Hang in there!

Thank you for your messages, I just need to vent. I’ve cried so many times, I feel like such a failure.

My 4.5 year old is a joy. Hang in there

Such a hard age - one second they are adorable and the next they are destroying your will to live. I agree 3.5 onwards is a lot easier!

It’s normal to cry as you’re so tired. It will get easier as he gets more independent. Hang in there.

Oh OP you are not a failure… it’s so hard! Particularly in the cold weather and when you’re on your own most of the day. It will improve!

I found it helps me to try to make a plan for every 15 mins of the hour. I sometimes even write it down to make the plan seem interesting for DD… she sometimes asks ‘what’s next mummy?’…. I find breaking each hour into 15 min chunks somehow seems more manageable!

I also have a DS that isn’t sleeping more than 2 hours at a time so I feel you! Sending hugs xxx

You’re not a failure. Honestly, work more if you aren’t enjoying the time at home. I did very part time hours when my DS was peak PITA and I wish I’d increased my hours sooner. I spent too much time hating it at home and now he’s a bit older it’s very different.

The fact that your asking for advice about the way you feel just goes to show you are a great mum. It's just crap sometimes I have a 2 nearly 3 year old and I feel exactly the same it's so hard some days. I never realised how hard it was going to be. I'm currently pregnant and catch myself thinking it was a stupid idea how am I going to manage two when I can't cope with one. You got this have cry and tomorrow is a new day

TV? I know people judge screen time for kids but it sounds like you need half an hour to just be. Maybe TV will give you that?

I feel like this image sums up parents everywhere ❤️

I feel like I’m the only mum who gets angry and failing at parenting when I do - even though I wouldn’t think this of anyone else

3 is generally a bit of a turning point as they become slightly aware their behaviour affects other people. The darkest hour is just before the dawn and all that. I am afraid it's all pretty normal but gets easier quite quickly really.

I look back on those years and still cannot fathom how I did it but I did and you will too.
The fact you are worrying about being angry shows that you can control it.
The fact that you acknowledge that you are struggling means that you are open to finding a way to make it easier and better.

A pp suggested writing down a plan to fill time and that is a great idea. Toddlers are demanding because they are learning. They also need scheduled rest and physical as well as mental stimulation.

Being stuck beside is always tiring (for you if not the toddler) so buy some wellies and waterproof over trousers and get out of the house every day: duck feeding, snail hunt, puddle jumping, lay ground to yourselves: it doesn't matter asking as you get out!

Crafts, dancing, reading, stories, building, cooking, laundry, cooking, baking, arts, icing, music, mark making, rhymes: so many little things to do.

The toddler phase is exhausting, but the more you interact the more quickly it passes as they learn to communicate and self-sooth. Plus the more they do the more they nap.

You are doing a better job than you think just by realising the struggle. If I knew you in RL I'd give you a hug and buy you a cup of tea, but as we're virtual have cake

My spellchecker is a saboteur but hopefully you get what I meant!

Thank you, this helped me more than you know ❤️

You poor thing, it sounds exhausting.

Thinking back to this age I was a very strong believer in walk the legs off them and tire them out. Lots of playgrounds, "building dens" racing them etc. Fresh air and exercise at least helped my head and form. Hopefully the sleep will improve because that to me is the key issue. We can deal with challenging days with a decent night's sleep.

No advice as my 3 year old is much the same but just wanted to let you know you're not alone!

I'm on Mat leave again with youngest and realising how much hard work eldest is!

Just remember that this too shall pass. Like everything, it's a phase and it'll get easier. Each phase has its challenges and it's okay to feel particularly frustrated with this one.

Do you have a partner or family who could give you a few hours respite so you can get a break and recharge?