Fed up to the back bone of my kids.

[Douse]

Weekends i detest them! i really do Saturday is our day at home to catch up and rest after a week of work and school! Sunday is our family day out
I have primary school age kids and im absolutely fucking sick to the back bone of them.
The constant arguments between them.
The house looking constantly messy (yes they are made to clean it )
Having to ask them to tidy up their rooms "oh I've done it" so I go to check it doesn't even look tidied.
The struggle to do homework - "it's boring and they constantly change what there meant to be doing"
The constant moaning and whining between them
We've just been for a walk with the dog and played ball but even that wasn't good enough constantly trying to push for more all the time and just the whole stress to even get out of the door!
The stupid noises and acting up
Im sick of the attitude and behaviour.

No matter what punishments we do and how much we tell them off nothing changes!
Just had enough right now and could easily walk out this house and leave them! (I can't as husband is at work) but it feels good to rant!

I hear you.

Are you wanting advice and support from people today or do you just need to vent?

Makes a change from women ranting about their husbands, but good for you getting it off your chest. Kids at this age can be just a pain. Independent enough to think for themselves and know how to get what they want, but dependent enough that you're stuck with them for the day.

Have a coffee and ignore them for half an hour.

Put something mindless on tv and give them a packet of crisps each. Not the most amazing parenting but needs must. They don’t need stimulating all the time. Dump them in front of the tv for a bit and grab a coffee.

Yes! The 'electronic babysitter' my mum calls it 😂 doesn't hurt for an hour of escapism.

Absolutely! In a moment of desperation I even let my 5 month old baby watch 15 mins of “baby tv” yesterday so I could finish a cup of tea! We’re all just trying to get through the day with our sanity in tact 😝

I don't really know to be honest .
I just don't want to feel so alone like its only my kids. I seriously hate them at times and regret having them. And we keep making reasons for the bad behaviour oh there tired.
Its a long week.
Its been the school holidays
Its one of there birthdays so there just excited
But i can't keep making excuses for it. One is 9 and the attitude is awful

Thanks all ive done exactly that ones upstairs on their tablet one is downstairs and I'm watching last nights corrie with a cuppa. But there still irritating me

Separate them... give them jobs to do
First one to finish get the I pad for Extra hour or chooses a film or whatever they like doing

First one to complain gets 5 mins taken off their time etc
First one to pick a fight you get the gist

Sometimes with my kids I just have to get militant and act like a Sargent major

I used to give each child half an hour of undivided attention they get to choose what to do.
Otter child has to find something else to do and not allowed to butt in

Kids become super annoying aged 9-11 I find tbh. Old enough that they start to give attitude and back chat and think they know it all, but too young to be very independent or properly reasoned with and they do annoying things, noisily.
Our 10 year old is one such and he isn't very fun to be around much right now.
And the fights with his 9 year old
Brother are incessant.

The good news is they grow out of it. The bad news is you have about 2 years and then then become teenagers and that's a whole host of other problems.

I'm sure people will be along to tell you their kids are great, and they adore spending time with them etc etc and that may well be true for them, but I strongly think most parents have moments , or even longer periods of time when they wish the kids would just leave them alone for a bit. It's doesn't make you a monster, just a human being.

It sounds exasperating and exhausting.
Engineer some alone time and some quiet time (for all) after the kids do a couple of chores each. I like the idea of having a chores competition or getting paid for cleaning the room etc.
Once the basic chores are done give each chiild a space and direct them to stay quiet for an hour - no conversation - away from others. They can think of what they do. Model quiet speaking. Smile and sing more.
You go and lie down and read or snooze. Anyone who makes noise or interupts another person is docked pay out of their chores money. Over time the kids might learn to enjoy being calm and in charge of their own hour.
Follow that with an energetic hour long walk or adventure.
After Saturday's lunch offer to allow TV or screens for two hours once the home work is done. Use the screen time to attend to dinner etc.
Thank the kids for helping, for behaving nicely and whenever they are considerate.
It is really hard to be a parent. It's a relentless task so you need to focus on being the nice you. Don't turn into someone you don't respect.

I feel you. I have a 2.5 year old and I feel like I'm at my wits end recently. 😔

What I was aiming at at this age, was modelling positive attitude, and praising the positive, however minor. But God it was hard work. I just accepted that if I said 'right we're off for a walk' etc that there would be half an hour of moaning before we could go. It drained the pleasure out of everything.

I'd stop being quite so strict about what day is a family day, what day is to relax etc. When are they their nicest selves? If they're doing separate activities? If you import a couple of their friends to take with them? Do that. If you end up taking one to football and another one to swimming and there's been no 'family time' but they've been more fun to be with, then thats a win.

Hang in there OP, it gets easier. Everyone has these days where they feel like they've made an absolute mess of their children, and you've just had the school holidays - no wonder!

9 is old enough for you to say you need some time to yourself.