Should we bring baby back into our room?

[Pantheon]

Just looking for advice from anyone who has been through similar please.
13 month old ds has been in his own room since around 10mo. This coincided with night weaning. Since then we have had nights where he has slept through, nights he has woken but we have managed to get him back to sleep within 20mins and then now...if he wakes up, he is immediately very upset and it can take up to 2 hours of calpol, water, back rubbing, sometimes rocking in chair to get him back to sleep. He is clearly trying to get back to sleep. It's making him overtired and grumpy.

He has been teething for weeks. But I also wonder about separation anxiety. I can't decide whether bringing him back in with us in our room would at least get him back to sleep more quickly? Or is that going to cause more problems down the line? I should add one of us does tend to stay in the room as he falls asleep (we don't rub his back etc but we are trying to do gradual retreat and haven't got out the door yet so this could well be the problem?)

Any advice appreciated !

Is there space for a bed or Lilo in his room? I wouldn't move him back in.

I agree, I’d move in with him rather than the other way round.

It makes no difference whether you go into his room or he comes back into yours in the sense that you’re the comfort not the bedroom, so regardless of where he sleeps now or in the future it’s a matter of getting him confident enough to sleep by himself.

I personally would bring him back into your room, he is only just turned a year old, he’s still so young which is why he wants your comfort. My LO was like this, during the day he would only nap on me or dad, but as he’s gotten a little older (he’s now 16 months) he naps in his cot.

we also had to cuddle him to sleep on a night time (I loved this) and then place him down, he would not fall asleep by himself, but again he’s a little older now and once he has his bottle he’s fighting to get into his cot and falls asleep by himself.

you can’t rush these things nor can you force it. Better to be led by the child and do it when he/she is ready

I wouldn't bring him back in - I don't think all the disruption is helpful and you all need to move forward, not back.

What do his daytime naps look like? Has this changed recently?

There's a major sleep regression around that time. Have a look into it before you decide to move anyone anywhere. My DS really struggled for a few months and then went back to sleeping beautifully

Thanks everyone. Lots to think about. His room is small but if we moved out some furniture, we could get a mattress in if needed.
@DragonbornMum he has two naps a day. I've let him sleep/woken him up and tried a few different things to see if his napping is the problem. So he might have 1h15 in the morning and the same in the afternoon. Or 1hr in the morning then 2hr in the afternoon or 45 mins then 1hr30 etc. Yet to see a difference to be honest. I don't think he'd cope just yet with one nap but would be up for trying that one day to see. I currently try and keep to wake windows of between 3-4 hours.
@TeddyBeans thanks for this. Did you just ride it out or did anything help?

I would cut the morning nap right down if it were me - two decent naps is a lot for this age.

I think my goal would be 10 min in the morning and 2 hours later - but don't necessarily jump straight to this if you're not comfortable with such a stark contract. Maybe try 20-30 min in the morning to start with and see how he copes, and if it's a positive responce then slowly whittle down the morning nap as needed.

Try and keep things consistent as possible. You'll need to keep changes going for a good week before he settles into the new routine

Thanks @DragonbornMum will look at shortening that first nap. I think he's been catching up in the day due to the bad nights and I've been worried about him becoming more overtired.

Just rode it out to be fair. He would fall asleep on me and nowhere else so I cuddled him to sleep and then transferred him to his cot. Sometimes he stayed asleep during transfer, sometimes he didn't. It was about a month after I worked out that that's what he needed that he stopped falling asleep on me. I put him in his cot awake and he went to sleep no issues. Sometimes they just need that closeness with you

Try different things, something is bound to work 😊

I reckon that it's the napping too - both of mine had no morning nap well before a year and for my eldest I had to ensure no more than 2 hours from a year.

Also, is he moving a lot? Babies get overtired and stop sleeping, but toddlers are far more able to ride it out a bit more. Try a few days of tiring him out in the daytime with less napping, more fresh air and see what happens

Thanks @TeddyBeans nice reminder that everything is a phase

@bigbabycooker thanks for your reply. Reading all the posts, my plan now is to give him a 30min morning nap and 2hrs in the afternoon. Will make sure he gets a lot of outdoor time too. Some days we're busier than others so that could definitely be a factor. See where we are after a week or so.

@Pantheon how are you doing?

If it means you all get more sleep, absolutely

Agree with the suggestion to look at naps. My daughter is a great sleeper and suddenly we were having dreadful split nights around this age. We cut her naps and she went back to sleeping well.