Tell me it gets easier…just had second baby

[Nelly040]

I’m 2 weeks post partum and my hormones are all over the place! I have a nearly 3 year old and my newborn, it’s funny I was so worried about how my eldest would adjust and she has been fine, but me on the other hand I feel like I’ve been a hot mess!
I feel so emotional and have been crying at least once a day, I forgot how tough the sleep deprivation was. I also have anxiety and have been on sertraline for a few years but am finding that since the birth my anxiety has really spiked! My eldest was a lockdown baby and she had colic and I found her first 3 months so tough, and I feel like I’m on high alert with this baby that it’s going to go the same way (crying for hours a day)
I really thought I would take a second baby in my stride and I feel a bit disappointed in myself that I’m finding this hard :( has anyone else been in the same boat? And does it get better?

I’m 4 weeks pp with a 2.5 year old. At 2 weeks pp I was also very emotional. I felt trapped at home playing with my toddler constantly and found it a real strain. I feel much better now. You’re only 2 weeks in so allow yourself some time and please don’t be disappointed in yourself. I know what you mean about constantly worrying that things will get worse like it was with your first. My first was quite high needs. DC2 has so far been very chilled and I am worried that it’ll change soon. I think we have to just live day by day instead of dreading things getting worse (not easy I know)

congratulations by the way xx

Tell your GP or HV about your increased anxiety.
All you need to do every day at this point is make sure all 3 of you are clean and fed. If you’re managing more than that you are doing very .well

Hey, just wanted to put a virtual arm around your shoulders and say "breathe".

You're two weeks into your new life as a mum of two. It's so easy to get lost worrying about the bigger picture, when you just need to get through the present moment.

Dial down the expectations and let the groove find you, don't compare one baby to another, don't think past the end of the day. Small milestones: getting up, getting to lunch, getting to dinner, going to bed.

Yes, it gets easier, you get better at juggling. Keep talking and when those negative self-judging voices start nagging, blast them away.

You're doing fine x

Second baby turns 7mo today. Yes it gets easier. Then it's harder and then it's easier again. For a different reason each time. But you do get through it and start to enjoy life with two more and more.

The hardest part for me has been giving the 3 year old one to one time while the baby also wants me 24/7 but baby has started to be distracted now for longer periods and I can squeeze in a cuddle with the older one.

It's a nice milestone when the baby starts lighting up when their sibling enters the room and even better when they make each other laugh.

Totally agree with the above. Saying this to prepare you not scare you, but often the eldest goes through a regression stage (with mine it was peeing on the floor despite being toilet trained and pretending to be a baby a lot) but this only lasted 2-3 weeks and now that the baby blues have passed and my daughter has accepted (and loves) that she's here it's so much easier.

Get help wherever you can and try to get out, even just for a walk, as often as you can manage as it will help you all.

Don't feel disappointed in yourself, it's really hard work! My 2 are 2.5 and 10 months and it's got harder and easier as time's gone on. Harder because my youngest is crawling so is into everything and my eldest is going through a defiant, cheeky, tantrum stage so I feel I never have any peace or a second to breathe. That said, it's easier in that they are both in a good routine now (it took a while) and both sleep fairly well. There will be many ups and downs but you don't need to cope alone, speak to your HV (who will just tell you to speak to your GP), they'll be able to help with your anxiety which will make all the difference x

I had my second baby last year. I also had a 2.5 year old.

The beginning is so so hard but it does get better I promise. Please be kind to yourself. If the toddler ends up eating nothing but beige food and watching CBeebies for a bit, that's fine. It's not forever. It's all about survival at this stage. I remember watching bloody Bing on a loop for weeks.

Is there anyone who can take the toddler out for a couple of hours so they get exercise/stimulation until you reach the point where you're ready to leave the house?

Please also speak to the midwife/Gp/health visitor about how you're feeling. There's no shame in it.

I think how you feel is entirely normal. I remember when my second was born I thought "what have I done?" And really felt we just went backwards. We were in such a good place with out then 2.5 yr old and things with him were getting much easier then boom life with newborn is shit.

You will feel differently soon I promise

Thank you all so much for your lovely comments - it’s made me feel like I’m not alone/what I’m experiencing is normal! You’re all right I need to take each day as it comes and try and focus on what’s in front of me. I’m so looking forward to when they interact with each other. I’m so glad I posted xx