Postnatal depression and sleep training - 5 months

[Abijane02]

Hi all! My little one has just turned 5 months and has been going through a bit of a regression. Thankfully I've watched him develop massively the last couple of weeks so I know it's linked!

I am sick to death of googling what I SHOULD be doing right now. My baby won't NAP longer than 20 minutes in his cot, so I hold him for all naps to get him sleeping longer OR he will sleep maybe 45 mins maximum in the pram when out .

Until a couple of weeks ago he could sleep 8 hours without a feed, occasionally the whole night. But the last week or so he wakes maybe 2/3 times a night? He stirs a lot but mostly puts himself back to sleep, other times he's WIDE awake ready to play!

I have PND, I have it bad. I'm trying to get better. But I have an overwhelming thought of "I SHOULD BE SLEEP TRAINING". I read hundreds of posts about what everyone else is doing and think I should be doing it.

But I'll be honest, I don't have the patience, energy or the actual emotional strength to start sleep training. I tried it a couple of times and ended up crying my eyes out because after 2.5 hours he wasn't asleep. So I just continued how we knew best.

Is anyone else in this boat or is it just me? I do not have the mental ability to cope with sleep training right now, or soon!!!

You do not have to sleep train. A BIG portion of younger babies just don't nap well (mine among them - 30 min naps at most), but do grow out of it when they are bigger. For us it was at the time he started crawling.

I personally did sleep train. It was gruelling work, and I can't imagine doing it with PND.

Be gentle with yourself and your baby. He's still so little and he's learning so much at the moment. He will get there whether you sleep train or not - it's okay to not do it right now.

Be kind to yourself! There's no need to sleep train and lots of people don't do it. I guess most people only consider it if the current situation is not working for them. You might be best waiting and see if the better sleep returns. The naps sound pretty normal. Mine has been doing 30-45 min naps since 4 months (now 7 months) and still only sleeps on me or in the pram. I'd be lucky to get 5 min in the cot during the day but she sleeps well at night so it works for us. Again the naps are only a problem if it really doesn't work for you.

So sorry you’re struggling with PND, that’s no fun. You don’t have to sleep train ever, it’s not a requirement and babies really don’t need to be taught to sleep, it’s a biological function of the body.
You already know that this is a normal up and down related to their development, there’s a lot of that in the first year or so. The best idea is generally to go along with the ride. Cosleeping helped me get the most sleep, and contact naps are fine and natural! Baby will sleep alone when they’re ready.
You might also like to look at the Possoms Method, which is about naturally supporting their sleep.

Have you addressed your PND? Is the medication working? Maybe address that first.

Sleep training at 2 months old is savage. Please don't do it. They go through ups and downs. My 18m has never ever slept longer than 2-3 hours in her whole life.

You really don't have to sleep train. For many babies it doesn't work so you end up just as sleep deprived but with a shed-load of guilt and feeling like a failure.

You don't have to do it. I didn't, and don't intend to.

The 4mo sleep regression hit us HARD. Baby had never slept through, but had been doing 6hr stretches so it was a shock when he started waking up every 2 hours overnight.

I spent an unhealthy amount of time googling what I should be doing, and stressing out that I was doing all the things I supposedly shouldn't e.g. feeding to sleep, supporting him back to sleep when he wakes. I read a lot about sleep training, and spoke to friends who did it, but I couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't right for me and my baby.

He's 10mo now, and since then I have grown in confidence and my baby's sleep has improved without training. He's healthy, happy and hitting all his milestones.

No judgment to anyone who does sleep train, but I know I can look back with absolutely no regrets (which I don't think I could had I sleep trained).

Hey, our babies are the same age! And we’re also in the thick of cat naps and frequent wakings at night. With my first baby I never thought of routines or sleep training and just went with the flow - she was always a beautiful sleeper and slept through from about 8 weeks. I’m doing the same with this one, who is a dreadful sleeper, but just hanging on and diving into the uncertain future and following her lead. No intention of sleep training.

My view is whatever helps you and your baby is best. You’re a pair. Nobody else can tell you what to do. Look after your health and get well and continue doing an amazing job caring for your baby xx