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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Chronically tired 3.5 year old

46 replies

Triffid14 · 02/02/2023 21:09

Hello
writing this as a last resort really hoping someone out there has some experience/insight that can help us.

my 3.5 year old DD has been chronically tired since she could walk (around 12 months).

There were lots of struggles with sleep and napping so we put her tiredness down to that, however, those issues are largely gone now. She does not nap but generally asleep by 7.30 and wakes around 6.30am. A couple of nights per week she will struggle to fall asleep and can take up to 1.5 hours to drop off. This is often after a nursery day when she is overtired. She will still wake at the same time next day. Amount of sleep does not affect her tiredness.

She is usually rubbing her eyes and starting to look exhausted a couple of hours after waking and that’s her like that for the day. It affects behaviour and what we are able to do with her.

we have had a sleep apnea study done which is normal. We have been referred to a paediatrician who did bloods and said all normal, iron was slightly under so advised to take over the counter iron which we have done with no change. he didn’t think iron was low enough to warrant a prescription of iron.

Behaviour: struggles to listen when out doing activities, stands out from other children in groups we have tried due to not following instructions or listening. Can be impulsive. But this is mostly when we are out and about. Wanders off all the time. Seems completely spaced out at times.

Smart girl. Very socially smart. Largely sociable and friendly with other children and makes eye contact, expresses her emotions well. Was slightly speech delayed but catching up.

Any one got a clue what’s going on with my kid?

Thank you

OP posts:
Fedupsequin · 02/02/2023 21:13

I’m no expert but we’re currently looking at ADHD symptoms and a lot of what you’ve described ringsbtrue for that,OP. Is it something you’ve considered?

Triffid14 · 02/02/2023 21:16

Fedupsequin · 02/02/2023 21:13

I’m no expert but we’re currently looking at ADHD symptoms and a lot of what you’ve described ringsbtrue for that,OP. Is it something you’ve considered?

Thanks for your reply. Yes it is. I suppose I wondered if children with ADHD are supposed to be full of energy? But perhaps that is misguided.

OP posts:
BHRK · 02/02/2023 21:18

I’d ask for a second opinion. I don’t think she sounds unlike other 3.5 year olds with the behaviour, but the tiredness is unusual

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Monstermoomin · 02/02/2023 21:19

They can be, but also a significant number struggle with sleep and insomnia which is why they are sometimes prescribed melatonin.

Is there any chance they're waking and not alerting you but struggling to get back to sleep for a while?

Sucessinthenewyear · 02/02/2023 21:20

Worms?

Triffid14 · 02/02/2023 21:22

Monstermoomin · 02/02/2023 21:19

They can be, but also a significant number struggle with sleep and insomnia which is why they are sometimes prescribed melatonin.

Is there any chance they're waking and not alerting you but struggling to get back to sleep for a while?

Yes, night waking does happen and we are alerted but perhaps not always. Maybe asking about melatonin might be a good idea thanks

OP posts:
Triffid14 · 02/02/2023 21:22

BHRK · 02/02/2023 21:18

I’d ask for a second opinion. I don’t think she sounds unlike other 3.5 year olds with the behaviour, but the tiredness is unusual

Thanks, I think I will

OP posts:
Lemonademoney · 02/02/2023 21:23

My son has post viral fatigue and this sounds very like him. We are a year into recovery now (he did also become severely anaemic after his illness). He is slowly starting to perk up but still looks small and pale in comparison to his classmates. I’m learning to ‘manage’ his energy levels as sometime he needs to just come home and rest… he’s missed a bit of school due to exhaustion and I do at times also wonder if he has inattentive adhd but my paediatrician says the post viral and anaemia would explain his symptoms at the moment.

Triffid14 · 02/02/2023 21:24

Lemonademoney · 02/02/2023 21:23

My son has post viral fatigue and this sounds very like him. We are a year into recovery now (he did also become severely anaemic after his illness). He is slowly starting to perk up but still looks small and pale in comparison to his classmates. I’m learning to ‘manage’ his energy levels as sometime he needs to just come home and rest… he’s missed a bit of school due to exhaustion and I do at times also wonder if he has inattentive adhd but my paediatrician says the post viral and anaemia would explain his symptoms at the moment.

Sorry to hear that about your son. Did you ever take any iron infusions etc for the anemia?

OP posts:
Darhon · 02/02/2023 21:26

What is her diet and growth like? Did they test for coeliac?

OnMyWayToSenility · 02/02/2023 21:28

Iron! My son was the same at that age ... had a blood test for unrelated things. And he had a huge iron deficiency.

Triffid14 · 02/02/2023 21:28

Darhon · 02/02/2023 21:26

What is her diet and growth like? Did they test for coeliac?

She is tall, healthy weight and size as well. Looks healthy on outside but you can see the tiredness on her face and eyes often look heavy. No test for coeliac, I will look into that thanks.

OP posts:
Triffid14 · 02/02/2023 21:29

OnMyWayToSenility · 02/02/2023 21:28

Iron! My son was the same at that age ... had a blood test for unrelated things. And he had a huge iron deficiency.

Did you get prescribed tablets or infusion? Did it make a difference?

OP posts:
DipperandMabel · 02/02/2023 21:34

One of my children was like this and eventually discovered he has Crohn’s disease. It took a lot of pestering at the drs as it was often passed off as toddler diarrhoea. He was very tired and would often have no energy (Crohn’s usually results in anaemia). Perhaps it is anaemia that is causing your daughter’s tiredness but you might need to persist with the GP until they either figure it out or refer you on. Hope you get a step closer to finding out what it is.

Darhon · 02/02/2023 21:35

Sometimes the child is not failing to thrive with coeliac.

demotedreally · 02/02/2023 21:42

My DD who had chronic tiredness has dairy allergy...

Triffid14 · 02/02/2023 21:43

Hi@demotedreally
What were her other symptoms please?
thanks so much for your reply

OP posts:
BungleandGeorge · 02/02/2023 23:36

if She’s tired in the day is there a reason she isn’t having a nap? 5 nights of 11 hours and 2 nights of 9.5 hours is fairly low for her age. Does she fall asleep in front of the telly or in the car?

Triffid14 · 03/02/2023 04:46

BungleandGeorge · 02/02/2023 23:36

if She’s tired in the day is there a reason she isn’t having a nap? 5 nights of 11 hours and 2 nights of 9.5 hours is fairly low for her age. Does she fall asleep in front of the telly or in the car?

Yeah naps were dropped very early. We used to spend hours every day trying to get her to nap. This would involve her lying there for hours either screaming to get out of bed or doing absolutely everything she could to stay awake. lots of strategies were tried including white noise/singing / pitch black room/night light. At one point we we’re spending 1.5 hours getting her to take a 30 min nap and 1.5 hours to get her to sleep at night.

Was very stressful and almost broke us. She won’t fall asleep in front of tv and rarely in the car now. She fights sleep whenever possible.

OP posts:
Lemonademoney · 03/02/2023 06:47

Triffid14 · 02/02/2023 21:24

Sorry to hear that about your son. Did you ever take any iron infusions etc for the anemia?

Good morning. Yes he was on the maximum dose of liquid iron for 3 months and is waiting for a dietician appointment to rule out any food sensitivities that might explain his lack of growth

hEDS · 03/02/2023 07:08

Hi,

My daughter was the same at this age. We knew that her tiredness was outside the parameters of normal but GP just said things like ‘kids get tired’ [helpful]. Everything you describe was the same.

Fast forward to 14/15 years old. She completely crashed (unable to leave her bed for 7 months). All blood tests came back ‘normal’. After finding the right doctors (which in itself was a struggle), she was diagnosed with Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and Postural Tachycardia Syndrome.

I would suggest looking at this. Your GP most likely will be dismissive/not even know about it. Do some research and find a specialist such as Inherited Disorders of Connective Tissue clinic
idct.co.uk/
Even if it is to rule it out. I wish we had known before we reached a crisis.

Interestingly around this age she was also diagnosed with ADHD. This is common in people with hEDS.

Good Luck

hEDS · 03/02/2023 07:28

Just to add…
I’m obviously not diagnosing your dc and it may well be another cause. I re-read my post and thought it might sound alarming.

My daughter most likely wouldn’t have ended up bed bound if we knew what was going on. Also, it isn’t life limiting and knowing her condition means we can manage her fatigue.

I hope you find the root cause x

3luckystars · 03/02/2023 07:31

That’s great advice.
The iron I would keep going with that too for sure.

Curriedpeanuts · 03/02/2023 07:58

It does sound like she may not be getting enough sleep from your descriptions of her being hard to put down for naps etc

Keep following the other suggestions here but also I would like to suggest she has a bath with Epsom salts in it just before bed. It makes people really sleepy, might help...

Rahrahrahraah · 03/02/2023 08:51

I would ask for a repeat of the iron after a few months. I believe some conditions affect the absorption of iron so the over the counter ones might not be working.

Is she having vitamin c (orange juice etc) with the iron tablets?

My sympathies re the sleep struggles, my daughter is the same.