Help for my fiance

[JP8]

Hi all

I'm extremely new to this and am just looking for some advice

My partner is struggling at the moment with the days,
we have 3 children together 5 month old 4 year old and 6 year old
she is absolutely amazing mum to our kids and I couldn't fault her in anyway
we are currently in a situation where we're trying to pay off a bit of debt so I'm currently working various different jobs I get up at 4am and leave at 4 15 I'm back at 630am but leave for my next job at 7am and 4 days a week won't get home until around 7pm and my partner understands why we're doing this and supports me doing it so i just want to show her some support.
In the long run this will make us alot more financially stable once the debt is paid off I will cut 2 of the jobs out but will be end of this year if all goes to plan but at the moment she is struggling with the days being the same and I'm looking for any ideas you guys have of how to fill your days differently I try and take care of as much cleaning as I can in my spare time so she doesn't have to worry about that we have been together 8 years and my god they have been amazing I just don't like seeing her like this we are very open and have spoken about it and I have recommended things like a class in the eveings when I'm home or swimming or the gym but it's more the days while kids are at school and I'm working I completely get it she feels lonely and our 5 month old is with her as she's on maternity leave but the interaction with a adult is missing.

Any help would be greatly appreciated

This is my first ever post so I hope I've done it all right

Many thanks

You sound like a wonderful and caring husband. I think the fact that you understand and are empathetic as to what she is going through is a great start!

The feeling of isolation and loneliness is super hard, so as you are trying to save money at the moment, what about doing things that make her feel like you’re thinking of her and try to make her laugh too without costing anything.

For example, send her video messages through out the day, maybe one for her to wake up to if you’re gone before she’s up, one around lunch time and another in the afternoon. It’s just a fun idea for her to smile at and feel loved and feel connected to another adult!

Leave little notes for her to find at random, like one stuck on top of the nappy pile so she will smile when she’s literally doing a sh*tty job, one on a bottle of wine saying (have a cheeky midday drink for me) or just little loving messages in random places, which will keep things fun for her.

Maybe organising a family member to help with the kids for a few hours and she meets up with a friend, or just gets out of the house by herself.

Organising an indoor picnic or romantic dinner… keep it cheap and simple but a few tea lights and rose petals go a long way.

Anyway, you sound great and I think as long as you listen and are there for her to vent or cry when she needs too she will feel validated and loved by you no matter how much you’re working at the moment.

All the best! :)

Ideas to keep her sane:
taste safe sensory
free baby days out at museums (baby sensory at art galleries etc)
kids choice dinners
movie themed dinners (Disney is good for this)
mums walking club

totally agree with Lily / you’re doing a great job already, just make sure she knows you love and appreciate her, and help with the kids whenever it’s physically possible for you x