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The third baby paradigm

2 replies

Tiddlywinx · 02/02/2023 12:59

2 kids here (3.5 and 1) 35 late next year. My heart yearns for another baby, I know it’s a MN taboo but I just feel that way. I have one sibling and always desperately wanted more. Big families on both sides and always was envious of that bond.

let’s get to the nitty gritty… we have an average mortgage on a 4 bed house, like many I suppose the average mortgage will increase, would want a 3 year gap, eldest would be in school and 3 year old would be on funded hrs, which covers 8:45-3;30 (£5 for lunch), so I guess would start trying when I was 34.5, after tax and deductions (protection, pension, HI, IP, CIC etc) we get around 5.3k per month. We both have 9/10 to ease childcare costs and family to help also. We wfh so would have some logistical challenges re office space, either extending for an office/ summer house cum office or kids sharing… does that feel doable? We live in a new build, so whilst bills have gone up, it seems to tap out based on usage (not minimal either) at around £220 in the coldest months (smart meter shows direct usage)
if you’ve got 3 does that feel doable on what I’ve said? Lot of nay saying around 3 I’ve found, with ‘middle child syndrome’ ‘if you have 3 you need to have 4 etc’ ‘new car’. We share a car now so would need a new car anyway, probably would lease one. Happy to receive suggestion as to what car can fit 3 seats on the back? Ideally would keep eldest rf until 6. I like the look of the Tucson

so if I did have 3 with that age gap eldest would be 5.5, middle 3 and then new born… anyone else have a similar gap? How have you found it? How was the Jump from 2/3? Our jobs are very stable and hubby is getting quite a bit of attention to move up, but based on this staying exactly as it, does that seem viable?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Jennylou88 · 03/02/2023 16:35

we seem similar to you in terms of income, household etc. however we've got a 3yr old and due again soon.
I think we will try for 3, I can't imagine this being my last pregnancy or my last baby. I think if it's something you want you can make it work and it's not impossible with your set up. You wouldn't need to move, just get a bigger car and consider office space. A master bedroom/garage conversion could double as an office too.
we both grew up one of 3 siblings and loved having a busy family life.

Anothermother3 · 03/02/2023 20:34

Mine have those gaps, similar financial situation. It’s busy. I’m more fond of chaos than my DH. I found going from 1-2 harder than 2-3. We have a 3 bed so will hopefully do the loft or something when they’re a bit older. They asked if we can have one more which is never happening 😂 third wasn’t quite planned but very pleased she’s here. I have my sights on a puppy in my 5 year plan so they haven’t finished me off yet. There’s no right or wrong here. I work 3 condensed days will go to 4 this September. Wouldn’t want to do more currently. Not many dull (read peaceful) moments but I’m okay with that. Me and DC2 have ADHD so it might be less chaotic in another house.

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