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Mother-in-law driving me mad

2 replies

Helpplease23 · 31/01/2023 22:42

I am a mum of 3 my mother-in-law is driving me mad with her interfering and undermining my parenting I lost my shit today after ignoring a lot of what she does now I don’t know what to do. Yesterday my middle child was an absolute horror when I collected her from school calling another kid names fighting with her sister over a lip balm as soon as we got in the door she was arguing with her older sister again so I told her she could have time out in her room on her own she rang grandma on her iPad within ten mins she’s at our front door with Barney bear cakes for her I let it slide but mentioned it to my hubby when he got in said it’s not right as she’ll just think every time she plays up grandma will give her cake mean old mummy telling her off like I’m the bad guy all the time anyway today grandma turns up twenty past eight to pick my girls up for school it is not her days to take them lovely middle child has again called her on her iPad. I was cross so bought up about day before she then told me well I won’t have the kids atall then. We’re in a really hard situation as mil has them two days a week doing school run whilst I’m at work so we depend on her to help with childcare but she keeps trying to rule the roost I am currently looking for another job as she is constantly using this against me. I’ve had enough my parents live abroad so we have no other support network. I just feel that my kids are starting to see me as bad cop and it’s so horrible as hey if I tell them off for anything it’s we’ll go live with grandma then, especially my middle child it’s really upset me. We always dutifully traipse up there Christmas as we’ll never be allowed an Xmas at home so I’ll never have those memories with my children just to keep the peace we have invited her to ours but no she just likes to control everything just looking for coping tips I suppose am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
jannier · 31/01/2023 22:45

Why does your D have her iPad in time out? Can't you put controls on it so she can't contact anyone?
Pay for childcare 2 days a week

HappyMe6 · 03/05/2023 11:23

Really feel for you Helpplease23. I also had an interfering Mil. But I feel you would do better if you took the iPad away from your daughter you think you are punishing her but having an iPad to use in her room is not punishment as she’s able to contact MIL, and mother in law is loving it and so is your daughter when she turns up. She’s got you over a barrel so I’d take the iPad away, your Mil doesn’t sound very nice like mine wasn’t, holding it against you for looking for another job all very childish on her part. Why do you have to go to Mil for Christmas? They are your children so you should be doing what you want to do concerning your own family! You are certainly not being unreasonable at all. Mil should not be ruling your family, you must put your big girls pants on and stand up to her op,and your Dh must do the same or things won’t change.

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