DD not in the village school

[bakingmummy21]

DD started in reception in sept and around the time we had to apply for schools last year we were moving house (bad timing I know). We viewed schools based on a house we were buying which then fell through and when we had to apply we didn’t know exactly where we would be living.

Long story short DD unexpectedly got into our original 1st choice, a lovely village school where the class size is max 15 in infants (increasing to 30 in year 3).

By offer day we had found another house in a neighbouring village 5 miles away. We viewed the local village school which is quite highly regarded and whilst nice we didn’t quite like as much as our first choice. Also it is right the other end of the village over a mile away - not far but ultimately having to get back for work I couldn’t see us walking there very often - so we’d be in the car either way.

I love the school she is now in and at the moment it works well as DS1 and DS2 attend nursery nearby so we can easily combine drop offs etc. Because she is so settled I wouldn’t want to move her now.

However I am forever conscious of the fact that she doesn’t go to the local village school. The school she goes to has quite a wide distribution of pupils but she is a bit of an outlier in terms of where we live.

I want our kids to all go to the same school and even though we are out of catchment sibling preference should be enough to get DS’s in when the time comes. But it will be the same situation ongoing now for the next 10 years until DS2 finishes juniors. I also worry that due to our location she will end up at a different secondary to many of her friends (but maybe that’s often the case anyway?!)

Am I totally overthinking this?!?!!? I have no issue doing the drop offs, it’s only 10 mins each way. It’s just the anomaly that the kids live in the village but don’t go to the school 😬

Yeah, you're overthinking it. Get her into a local rainbows group or other activities and she'll make local friends too.

I don’t think it’s ideal your DC not being in the village school. Surely that’s half the point of moving to a village - the community aspect?

Yes that’s partly my thinking - but the village is small and in reality the kids attending come from a range of the neighbouring villages as well. I think less than half the kids in the school actually come from “the village”.

May not be so much of an issue now, but as she grows up and her classmates are knocking on each others doors to play out, go up the park etc it becomes harder.

Our DD doesn’t go to the village school. I think she’s one of, if not, the only child her age here who doesn’t. But it didn’t work for me when I looked round. The school she’s at did. And she is thriving there so I was right to trust my gut.

I figured it might be better for her to have school friends and then all her friends in the village (she has quite a few and we know the parents). This way if she feels unhappy at school she has an escape to other friends and isn’t dependent on one place. She will go to the same secondary as her school friends as it’s a better school than the one that the village school feeds into.

So in short, I wouldn’t feel bad about doing what works for you!

If the school has a place, I would move her. At her age she'll settle quickly and she won't have made firm friendships at her current school yet.

As PP's have said, being part of the local community is invaluable; as your child gets older they will want to play out and, whilst they might be happy to play with children they don't know who live locally, not all children would.

Also, you say you'll be in the car anyway ... but what about when your child can walk to school on their own? What about if they want to go the park on the way home? Or a friend's house? What about after school clubs and evening events?
Will you definitely be in the same job for the next 10 years? That's a lot of years to commit to driving for school. and what if you don't get one of your younger DC in to the same school?

Check the admissions policies for the senior schools you'd like. Then work backwards - do the children from both your dd's current primary and the primary nearest your home all end up in the same senior school? If so, not to worry. If, however, children from dd's current primary end up at a senior school too far in the opposite direction, then look to move her now. The sooner the better.

Secondary schools are a bit of a minefield here because we are in the catchment for grammar schools meaning some kids go to the grammar and others to one of the state secondaries. Obviously no one knows which kids will pass the 11+ or not so we don’t know which secondary she will end up at unfortunately or where her friends will go.

We thought about this and yes she may be old enough to walk to school at 9 or 10 but at that point her younger brother will be 5 or 6 and I wouldn’t let them all walk alone even with her in charge. It’s along a very busy A road with quite narrow footpaths in places which make me nervous just thinking about it. So either me or DH would need to walk with them all or drive. Tbh I’d be reluctant to let DD walk it with friends even when she’s old enough. But yes the sticking point would be if either of our DS didn’t get into the same school…

I think you should look on the positive side. She's now got two bases from which to make friends; school and the local/village children. This is always a good thing, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Just make sure you make an effort to engage in the local community too.

Why does it matter if she has village friends or school friends? As long as she has friends and she’s happy then who cares where they come from. This isn’t something she’s going to be thinking about at 25.

Meh. I grew up in a tiny village. I went to school in the next village and children there came from villages in a 5 mile radius. Only about 1/2 lived in the village.

Some of my friends in my village were at a private school, but they were very much part of the community.

If you have a child who is happy in school I would be very very wary of changing that.

We may live in the same area going by your description. In my experience the schools have a real mix of kids from the village they're in and kids from other villages where the parents have decided against that school for whatever reason.

I initially chose a small infants school in the next village for DD over the very large primary where we live. but over time it became clear that we needed to change schools as she was becoming increasingly unhappy. I've still decided against the school in our village due to its size and a couple of other things and have chosen another village school with 1 standard-sized class per year.

I understand all the reasons that it can be ideal for a child to go to school in the village where you live but given they spend 6/7 hours a day there for most of the year I would only opt for the most local school if I was pretty sure they'd be happy there.

Yes you are totally over thinking this. My 3 DC's went to a tiny village school which was 15 minutes each way from where we lived by car.
They were happy and thrived and glad I kept them at the school. They are all at secondary school so if your DD is happy, don't move her.

Just be aware that when you come to apply for secondary schools, if she isn't in a linked junior school she may be a low priority for your local school (not in linked junior) and any school near her current one (living out of catchment).

Thanks for this, I think at an appropriate time before DS1 starts school and we commit fully to the current one we may have a chat to the school about our concerns and ask where the kids typically go onto secondary. My gut feel is it’s quite a wide spread of schools and it’s not like the majority are all going to one school - and the grammars won’t be linked to primaries I don’t believe but will check.

We have just done our secondary applications and found a website called locrating. It shows you which schools all the local secondaries get their children from(& numbers from each school) and also which secondary schools each primary sent children to, and the numbers of those too). The basic info is free, and we paid ~£13 for a months subscription which has really detailed info. ( we are a grammar school area too).
It also shows lots, and lots of other statistics and was really useful for us making our choices. Sounds like it would provide some of the answers for this scenario too?

Thank you yes locrating is amazing! We used it for our original primary school search but our subscription has now expired. I will definitely resubscribe at some point though to check out the latest data.

We had this. Dd went to a primary three miles away in a different county. All the kids went to a secondary in that county but dd would never have got in

most kids in our village went to a certain secondary school but the village primary was a feeder/had priority. On distance she wouldn’t have got in there either

so we ended up moving her to the village primary in year six.