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Original poster

DS (5) says he hates me daily

28 replies

raspberryjuiceandpompoms · 31/01/2023 11:38

Hi all, not sure what I want to hear… my 5yo DS has been horrible to me lately. He used to be wonderful, knew to be gentle and kind. Now he throws things at me, punches, says he hates me daily. I always reply that that’s ok and I love him anyways enough for two of us. But it’s been going on for about a month now daily and really started to get to me. I’m normally quite understanding and minimise shouting etc but he just wants to defy me at everything I say or do. He replies ’no it’s not’ to everything, tells me you’re not my boss you’re not even my teacher etc. is it a normal developmental phase? So draining…

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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EyesOnThePies · 05/02/2023 10:37

It’s entirely normal, IME. They go through big growing changes at 5 and try things out.

Just keep up the ‘I love you’ message, be firm about behaviour such as hitting or throwing etc, stability via boundaries.

I used to say things like “can you ask me in your happy voice please?”

But don’t play mind games with him.

Enko · 05/02/2023 10:44

raspberryjuiceandpompoms · 05/02/2023 10:07

@Enko thanks so much for this tip! Telling him I love him too much to argue, have firmer boundaries, letting him be (in general) and no more American TV series helped massively!! All peaceful in our household again (for now) 😊 x

Sounds like you took a lot of the info suggested on here to heart OP. Hope it continues with a peaceful household :)

Bonheurdupasse · 05/02/2023 10:48

raspberryjuiceandpompoms · 31/01/2023 12:31

@Flipflop23 thanks for your comment, i tried that last night - he got so so upset. Like sad upset than angry. He also likes to flip things like ‘it’s opposite day’ so I hate you means I love you but he knows what he says. Glad to hear your boys grew into wonderful young men. Hope my son does too and I don’t become an alcoholic in the process haha

OP
that sounds like the approach Flipflop23 suggests will work - you should persevere with it.

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