Parents of autistic kiddos

[LittlemissMama67]

hello, I have a daughter who is 2, 3 in May and she has autism. She's mostly non verbal, she says about 4 words rarely. She's runs riot and is into everything but behaviour wise she's a good kid. She squels but that's ok. And she was the odd paddy but they're are few and far between. And I know every child is different and autism in a spectrum not a blanket condition, but really what I'm wondering is if at all, what she did your child become harder to handle? I hear people all the time scare monger over how difficult my life will become and I just want to know if that's true

Age*

I can't answer this for you but interested in any responses you get as i am in a similar situation. My ND kid is much easier than my NT one! I am imagining when societal expectations increase that life may become more challenging but right now I'm not sure.

I had the opposite everyone told me my daughter would get so much easier once she got older, they couldn’t have been more wrong! I wish people were more honest that she wouldn’t get easier 😏

I have 2 with autism and ADHD. My DD was hardwork in her younger years, manageable in the middle years, an absolute bloody nightmare in her teens, and finally a well balanced and functioning professional adult.

DS is still only 9. He's been an absolute angel and pleasure to parent since day 1.

Mine got easier once he started school. I went to a seminar on conflict management and autism and the guy said if your dc has asd it's more conflict avoidance. Lots of pictograms, concrete reward systems, low arousal etc.

He's a bit more self sufficient now so bikes to school etc, comes home on his own.

My daughter is autistic and verbal, she has a lot of anxiety issues which have caused the main problems for us. The difficulty has come in waves tbh. Things can get easier and then sometimes a huge wave appears if you get my drift.

My ND child was an easy baby and toddler and became increasingly challenging from 4. He is now a teenager and is less challenging than he was due to all the support in place like special schools, medicine, therapy etc.

I have a NT child who was a very hard baby and toddler but got easier and easier until now (aldo a teen) but who knows what the late teens will be like?

In my experience it's the changes around a child that impact most.

My ds is 13 and has been the same level of hard work since the age of 1. As he grew bigger, he came out of nappies at 4 but really didn't get the hang of it until he was 8.

As he got older the childcare ratio reduced and it was difficult to access out of school care so I had to give up my job.

The toileting accidents continued and he started a special secondary school where there wasn't enough support.

The impact was huge and he is currently out of school.

He has always hit out when scared or distressed but now he is 13 it is really bloody difficult.

Same child, same difficulties, just different circumstances.

Things were really difficult with my autistic child when she was 2 - 4 years old. She was really overwhelmed by lots of sensory stimuli and on reflection was in fight or flight most of the time.

Once it was easier for her to express herself, things got better. There's still wobbles of course but she's generally very happy and fairly straightforward to parent.

It really varies so much. I can give you hope if you want though. At 4 dd had maybe 5 or 6 words, screaming was her preferred method of communication along with hitting. By 5 she not only was fully verbal but we realised she had taught herself to read before she could talk, had excellent maths and was about to take her first violin exam. Huge progress.

Life hasn't been a bed of roses, I have the scars from bites and other violent outbursts, through her teen years attending school was challenging so I lost my job having to take care of her, but she passed her exams. She's at university currently, has a serious boyfriend and is coping mostly, anxiety is her main issue. We have tried meds but currently she isn't on any.

Autism is something you learn to live with I suppose, it's what makes her her. And comes with advantages - musical for her. Try to focus on the needs of your child currently, and look where you can help - most people with autism do develop life skills that allow independence. I know know everyone does, I don't think it's always helpful to have the same name for such a spectrum but for parents with little ones there is always hope

I think much depends on what developmental stage they are in.

My kiddo was a very easy baby. Was hellish from 18months to 3.5, then delightful until about 9 years and currently proving very challenging again.

ND kids are as varied as NT kids to be honest...

Everyone's different
My sons 24 now and still is basically the same as when he was a child
I can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do and pushing leads to him either lashing out or shutting down .
I attended an autism accredited course to help me understand things from his perspective- it really was an eye opener.

Are you in the uk? How would I find something like that. This is all relatively new to me and it's breaks my heart that I can't read her. She brings me food if she's hungry between meals, and she will take my
hand and put it on something she wants me to do, on her ball to play, on her face if she wants affection. So she has her way of communicating I just feel like I'd love to know how she sees the world

I'm in wales
It was an adult learning course
I attended online
I think it was called "understanding autism "
And it was only last summer , they do them a few times a year .
There were many people on there not just parents , a fire chief , care workers & charity workers - people who come into contact with people with autism.
I wish the course was around when my son was diagnosed, we were just given diagnosis and sent home to work things out ourselves- no support or information at all .

My son was always diagnosed with anxiety, depression and OCD at the same time . All brought on by trying to live in "our world ".
It's been tough especially when he's 1 of 4 children , and being children themselves, the others found things difficult and I guess to them it looked like he was receiving special attention.

Op your daughter sounds exactly like mine was when she was 2. She did the things you describe like hand guiding and was non verbal. She is now nearly 3.5 and I can't tell you how much she has progressed since she turned 3. She is progressing every day with her speech, she has hundreds of single words now and sings songs, has started putting words together. Her speech therapist who she sees weekly is so happy with her. Doesn't hand guide much now, uses words or points to request/show. Does your DD have a speech therapist?

With behaviour, I did find that with the speech development came some issues. It was like a delay of the 'terrible twos', before age 3 she was an absolute breeze. I have found visuals have helped us a lot as one of the things she struggles with is transitions and leaving an activity she enjoys. Although she understands a lot, sometimes she gets so engaged in her activity my words are meaningless. If I accompany it with a visual (say a picture of ice cream) and say "we need to leave now, look we're going to get ice cream!", it seems to have a much greater effect. If using visuals, following something they don't really want to do up with something they will enjoy, like "getting dressed" then "soft play" works very well for us.