DD is only happy with (useless) dad.

[Cryingcryingcrying]

I adore my daughter, she's the best thing in the world but I seem to be making her fucking miserable.

She's almost 4, dad moved out a year ago. He has a regular schedule to see her but let's her down often. I try extremely hard to positive towards him around DD. She can call him whenever she wants, has a special photo of him - obviously not the same I know. I let her know it's ok to be sad, give her lots of comfort that daddy loves her.

But I'll be honest I'm reaching a fucking limit and about to start crying myself. She just screams for him constantly, anytime we do anything she tells me how daddy would have done it differently, if I don't have rice crispys for breakfast cue an hour meltdown because daddy has them and she wants daddy. We've been awake 20 minutes, I've heard the word daddy screamed a million times.

Has anybody got any advice to just help her be a little less sad???

Bless you that sounds tough 😞 if it was me when she has a meltdown about daddy just ask her more questions about "daddy" for example if she says daddy makes my cereal this way try "oh really, does daddy like rice crispies too? What does daddy eat for breakfast?" I know you want to move away from the word daddy but this helped when I split with my little ones dad when he was nearly 3.

It’s possibly honestly an age thing as much as possible, that is famously the age where even too much or too little milk in a cereal can send them over the edge. It’s tough for her but hopefully distractions can help- the normal everyday thing of doing fun stuff, or getting out. Try not to let it get to you (as in don’t come back with anything that makes her think any different of him, even if he is a you know what) and she might just have to ‘move on’ while you navigate dealing with him. But as the poster above says do make sure he’s included conversationally.

This is really hard. Daddy's girl plus, almost obsession is hard. I agree ask her loads of daddy's questions, just say 'enough' and leave. Talk to her about these tantrums when she's calm, about how to prevent them or make them not last as long ask her what she thinks is the solution to this dilemma. (That's a passive aggressive way of getting her to answer her own issue). Hard!

Thank you for the responses, I pulled myself together, put on some silly music and a big smile and now we've had giggles. It's just so bloody hard sometimes.

Sounds hard OP. Remember it's all a phase and you don't know that the same isn't happening with "mummy" when she's at his! I think PP had some good advise about distraction or asking more qs!

Aww sounds tough for both of you. I think she's probably feeling quite rejected by him and insecure about their relationship despite your best efforts. I'm sorry you have to coparent with someone so unreliable it must be hard. You are doing amazing and she knows you are there for her no matter what.