Do you have the same bond with all of your children?

[worstusernameeverx2]

I love both of my children dearly. I miss them when they're gone and I give everything I have to be the best parent I can be. However I have extreme guilt about the fact that I feel more of a bond with my first. I get more easily frustrated with my second boy and I don't feel like he is a part of me in the same way as my first.
It doesn't help that I was basically coerced into keeping the second pregnancy and I didn't make an attempt to bond with him in the womb. The first few months of his life were traumatic, I had a complete breakdown and left his abusive father about a year ago (he is 1.5 and the boys have the same father). Also he's at a naturally difficult age and hasn't learnt to walk which is frustrating him greatly- so that probably adding to the difficulties. I'm making every attempt to get the bond by spending extra time with him alone, sending only his brother to nursery instead of both of them.
Has anyone else felt a difference in bonds with their children and does the bond always come?

Op give it time. I.5 years is not long to
recover from an abusive relationship. I would seek help from your gp and try and see a licensed psychotherapist to help you work through this. The bond will come.

Thank you for your reply. I am working with the gp and a private therapist to recover and have made some progress. It's good to know that 1.5 is still early days bond-wise

I had postpartum psychosis with dc1, took me ages to accept him as mine. I still have limited feelings for him. Dc2 on the other hand I fell head overheels with before she was fully out of me. Given dc1 is nearly 8, I doubt it will improve. I have had lots of therapy and I try and treat them equally but emotionally I'm just numb to him.

Your situation sounds trickier than most, but beyond a base level love for all my kids, yes my relationship s with them are all different. They have very different personalities but are also different ages. I don’t know how you could feel the same about someone who you can play cards with vs someone who is still using their hands to fetch poo out of the back of their nappies.