Feel like I can’t win :(

[sadfaceee]

Mine and my boyfriends baby is 1

weve already had a city break and some nights alone. I find this very lucky
we have another city break planned this year

he suggested another and I mentioned I don’t want to leave the baby a lot

he got upset saying he feels like I don’t make an effort with him anymore that I don’t care about our relationship

this made me sad because I do and I’ve actually wanted to be engaged a while and he said “I’m not proposing unless I know you love me and want to be with me”

o always say I love him I always want to show affection. He’s hit and miss with affection he’s never been overly touchy feely

hes asking me and sayinf I need to ‘show him’ I love him? How do I do this?! He’s never said this pre baby

im so exhausted I’m trying to be the best mum possible. The best version of me and I try to be the best girlfriend but obviously fail there

You're with a man that doesn't love you and is jealous of his/ your own child receiving your attention.

I find him absolutely pathetic. I know you won't but your best option to be happy is to get rid of him. He will only get worse.

He sounds like a knob.

How long have you been together? Did you not spend exclusive time then ? He sounds emotionally manipulative.

What an arse.

i am so sorry. He won’t improve.

We’ve been together 5 years this year

he mentions how lucky we are to have lots of family who want to babysit DS (we are)

im just in the mindset of I don’t want to always leave him? He doesn’t want to either

but my view is I didn’t have my baby for other people to mind him

and I don’t feel like we have to go away for that to be classed as me making an effort with our relationship. It can be small

He's not going to propose.
He's acting like a child jealous the baby is getting attention. It's nothing to do with going away, it is entirely him playing sad little games to get the attention he feels he deserves.

You'd be better off walking away before he becomes more abusive.

Men are just like babies. He wants sex and attention. You need to divide your time and attention between the two babies in your life

JFC do not listen to this utter crap op. Fucking hell. Imagine being a grown man and typing that shit out!

Im not sure what advice I can give other than tell you my own experience.
We have DD3 and DD1. DH has always been more at ease leaving them than I have. After numerous discussions we think that’s because he is used to being away from them as he was back at work full time when they were 3 weeks old. Being away from them for long periods is normal for him but not me.
We make time for each other in the evenings and have been out for dinner or through the day by ourselves a few times. So the number of times you have been away from your baby seems much more than either of us have. That is just for comparison though and doesn’t mean one way is right and one way is wrong.
DH has been keen to go away overnight for literally years. I’m just coming round to this idea. Ultimately he loves me and always says that he wants to see me happy and doesn’t want to upset me by pressuring me into leaving our children if I’m not comfortable. He says he can wait.
I wonder what your BF would say if you were to turn it around and say he needs to ‘show’ you how much me loves you by respecting your feelings?
By putting these conditions on an engagement he is showing you what your marriage will be like.
I do think it’s a bit unfair for him to say that you don’t care about your relationship. It does sound like he is jealous of the attention the baby gets despite the fact you seem to make time as a couple.
With a baby so young, unfortunately I think it’s quite common to feel like you are failing to be the perfect mum, perfect partner, perfect xyz. Babies are so time consuming but they have to be number 1 priority for the time being. He should understand that prioritising a helpless infant doesn’t mean that you don’t love and care for him