I feel like I’m failing my baby as I don’t know what he wants! Suddenly very fussy 8 month old!

[BeckyBoo16]

Hi, I’m a first time mum so just wanted some advice really!
My very happy little boy has suddenly become very clingy and fussy the past few weeks. He’s almost 8 months old. His best time of day is right after he wakes up in a morning after a bottle when I can actually put him down and he’ll play with his toys for about an hour till breakfast, the rest of the day he’s constantly climbing up me but throwing himself backwards like he doesn’t want to be on me, if I leave the room even for a second (to go to the loo for example) he screams instantly and crawls to the baby gate screaming till I pick him up. Will only play with his toys if I’m sat with him or if he’s on my knee etc. I can’t seem to settle him in the day unless he’s being carried round by me or is sat on me or touching me, I try to play with him and his toys but he crawls over them to get to me and then spends most of the time trying to bite me! Even when he’s with DH he’s looking for me and reaching out for me.
He is fine in public, loves looking round in the pushchair, smiling at everyone who smiles at him, plays with the toys I give him when out and about.

He’s being really fussy with his bottles as well (I couldn’t breast feed, he’s formula fed) he cries for his milk (is on 5 6oz bottles a day), but as soon as I give it him he’s biting the teat, pulling away, only drinking a small amount then turning his head away, trying to grab the bottle, throwing the bottle on the floor, basically just avoiding it!! He’s probably only drinking 3/4oz at a time but he will drink a full 6oz during his middle of the night feed. I’ve made an appointment with the health visitor as I don’t think he’s getting enough milk at all and he looks so tiny compared to some friends babies of a similar age so want him weighed, I just don’t know what to do to up his milk intake. He does have formula mixed in with his breakfast, porridge or weetabix so he’s getting some there I suppose. Weaning is going well, he’s on 3 small meals a day, loves his fruit and veg, loves most foods.

He is teething at the moment but nothing pushing through, he’s waking up a lot at night crying and putting hands in his mouth and very dribbly overnight! His cot sheet is always
wet from his dribble so gets changed everyday.

• could it be down to teething or is this a fussy stage? Sorry for such a long post, I’m just desperate for advice, feel like I’m failing him as I don’t know what he wants!

Bit of both I’d say, I found 8 months very difficult (actually 7-9 months were awful). Definitely sounds like teething though. Try some anbesol liquid (not the gel) on his gums before his bottles and see if it makes any difference. Try a dose of Calpol if he’s really upset too to see if it settles him.

Also separation anxiety kicks in around this age too.

Yep definitely sounds like a mixture of teething and developmental clinginess. As pp said give him some pain relief, we found baby nurofen much more effective than calpol for tooth pain. You can also buy anbesol liquid from boots, rub it on the gums - it really helps numb their gums. My son got very clingy around 8 months and stayed quite clingy til around 12m but teething and any kind of pain or illness definitely exacerbates it. Just got to remember it'll pass.

@ForeverTired89 thank you. I have been giving him calpol more overnight as it’s been helping him sleep a bit better. Will have to get some of the anbesol stuff!

@Exworrier hoping it won’t last too long, he starts nursery in April as I’m going back to work part time. The past few weeks have made me wonder if he’ll cope at nursery all day.

This screams separation anxiety to me ( and teething) mine went enough it at 9 months and remember her just wanting to be with me/on me
Can't remember as it was 11 yrs ago! But it didn't last long. Bear with is my best advice !

My current 6month old is teething and windgy and doing the same with the bottles and she's dropped weight slightly so HV wants me to weigh her 2 weekly

She is also weaning and I'm doing porridge so hoping when she ups her meals her weigh will
Be ok

Mine also cares more for the night feed than she does in the day time! X

Could be an ear or sinus infection/issue.

Tbh I think the fact that he'll play on his own for an hour in the morning, and been content playing by himself at other times up until this point is great. Some babies (including my own) would never play by themselves. My little boy is almost 2 and is rubbish at self play, no matter how much we have tried/encouraged etc.

He's been highly demanding since he was 4 months old and was frustrated with everything. I found 4-10 months extremely difficult. In hindsight I think he was highly frustrated.... he knew what he wanted to do but couldn't do it, his mental capacity was developing faster than his physical, and therefore got really bored really easily.

In terms of food, if he is eating 3 solid meals a day I don't think you need to worry about him not finishing off his milk. Yes he still needs a bit of milk at this age, but not a whole lot. How much milk is he still having?

Hopefully your HV will help. But i don't think you need to be too worried. I absolutely feel for you because I know what it's like to have a frustrated and demanding baby, it's so tough! But try not to blame yourself!

7-12 months is pretty rough frankly, teething, separation anxiety, weaning is ramping up. My son has just turned the corner (hopefully) after a 7 month long whinge fest

Have you tried increasing the teat size? In case that's frustrating him

@Garman he had an ear infection in November and was no where near this whingey with it, it barely bothered him, I only took him to the doctors because he would not stop touching his ear the whole time. So not sure if it is that but will ask HV to check his ears if they can.

@pebbles3004 yes I think he does get bored, I’ve tried rotating his toys each week to give him something different but he moves from toy to toy quite quickly when playing. He usually drinks 5 6oz bottles but today he’s barely drank more than 3oz at a time. My mum said could be his gums hurt too much to drink so maybe it’s that.

@lyson we use the vari-flow teats so he just drinks at his own pace.

My little boy has always been like that with toys. I used to call it "rotation stations" where I'd need to move him from one toy/thing to another on 5 min interims to stop him kicking off, and we'd go round those stations multiple times a day. I would spend as much time as I could out walking, as this was a relief from the whining - he's always loved being outside. Honestly, i wish I could have counted the steps I walked while on mat leave... but I can sympathise with this, I honestly found it really difficult. And tbh he's still very demanding and craves constant stimulation. However I have to say I am so proud of him, because of his determination , he walked before 1, and he's SO clever. Nursery comment on it, it feels like he is developing at rapid speed - and I think a lot of his hitting milestones early is mostly down to him being so determined and not being a chilled baby at all!

As for the milk, I think 5 bottles a day as well as 3 meals is a lot? I don't know how he could fit it all in, he must be eating food/milk on almost an hourly basis during the day?! What is his food/milk schedule for the day? Speak to your HV if you are concerned, but if he's gaining weight, and getting the correct nutrients in his solid food, I honestly think you should expect him to be dropping milk by now. (Look at Charlotte Stirling Reeds blog for info on dropping milk , and for info on the nutrients that are important in food once they are dropping milk)

And I think you should consider yourself lucky that he's taking to food so well, you sound like one of the lucky ones - a lot of people have much more of a battle to get them eating 3 meals a day!

My baby does indeed eat every hour 🤣 but sleeps 12/13 during the night and 2.5 during the day so perhaps he's front loading

@pebbles3004 yes we go for a good long walk at least once a day (usually for his morning nap) he loves being outdoors as well, when he’s awake on a walk he’s always looking around and up at the trees etc. We go to a weekly baby music class which he also loves and is a good distraction! We’re starting swimming classes next month too so I hope that will also keep him engaged as he loves the bath! Aw that’s amazing your little one is smashing his milestones 😊
Bottles - he usually has 7am, 12pm, 4pm, 7pm and then one overnight usually 1am. I have noticed the 4pm is always hit and miss anyway so maybe he’s ready to drop that one. His 1am bottle is the one he drinks most of so I know he’s not ready to drop that just yet. I’ll give that blog a read tonight, thank you so much!!

Hi I know this is an old thread but we are experiencing the same with our 8 month old and the bottle, did your little one eventually get over this and accept the bottle again?