Feeling overwhelmed by 3 year old

[Whathefisgoingon]

My son turns 3 next month and we have just in the last week moved house.

His behaviour has changed. Obviously he is very excited as we are still amongst boxes and all his toys are everywhere, plus no stair gates yet, so he is up and down like a yo-yo with me trailing after him to make sure he’s safe.

If I ask him to do ANYTHING he says no. It takes about 10 minutes to talk him in to getting dressed before I have to just do it anyway and he fights it. He doesn’t listen to me when I tell him not to do something, like go up the stairs. He says “don’t worry mummy” and then gets angry with me when I approach.

This afternoon I was sat on the stairs trying to order us all pizza and as I wasn’t giving him my undivided attention, he whacked me in the face with both hands. I didn’t see it coming and it hurt, a lot!

I felt the tears coming so I took myself away and his dad took him off and spoke to him about it, asking him if he hit me and explaining that’s not kind etc

It doesn’t help it’s that time of the month and the move has been stressful, but my little boy has always been so sweet, these changes are hard. We never went through the “terrible two’s” as such but I’m guessing this is it!

Anyone else going through similar?

Then I'd be putting him in time out for 3 minutes you don't lash out for not getting your own way....please tell me you turned it off

But you don't treat him to the ice cream do you????

You may have tried similar but I have found using the timer on the oven has helped my same aged child recently. 'When the timer goes off it is time to get changed. Will you tell me if you hear it go?'

@tulipsunday this is a good idea, thanks

Thanks for your replies.

Since this post we have started enforcing consequences etc and using the timer game for things he doesn’t want to do. Both things seem to be helping! Jacket went on once the timer starts beeping, and out of the shower he came once the beeping started too. No resistance!

Yesterday was the first time we ever stuck to our guns with “disciplining.” We had bought him a new book, but when we got to the car he refused to get in his car seat and put up a real fight before telling his dad to go away. We tried talking but when it failed we explained the book was going away for now until he was going to listen to us etc. He shouted and cried the whole drive home but since that incident he seems to understand now that there are consequences as we have tried it a few times and don’t need to get as far as actually taking something away.

It’s hard because a part of me still thinks he is too young to really grasp it, but he is almost 3 and if we don’t do something then I fear he will grow up thinking he will always get his way and if he doesn’t, he can just kick off!

You could be talking about mine OP. Stick in there. We had lots of ‘I don’t love you’, ‘you can’t come to my party’ (not sure what party!) and really challenging behaviours. At 3.5 now we have all the love coming back and she gets upset and not cross. Literally changed like a switch overnight. They are so young it is still a phase to get through. Horrible though! Threenagers are real!

Also, I think you can let them see you are upset, I think it helps with empathy development.

I cried when cancelling the dentist once (pregnant and the day had been so difficult) and she was as good as good after that. I think it can help them to know you are a real person with feelings.

Therein is the crux of the issue, you’re not punishing him. DD seems to be coming out of her threenager phase - same behaviour as your son - but if she screams at me or hits me, that’s it, no telly and I sit ignoring her on the sofa until she’s ready to apologise. And no ‘treats’ (biscuits or pudding etc) for the rest of the day.

I'm going through this too. Ds has not long since turned 3 and his behaviour is getting worse by the day. He's always been a head strong, stubborn child but alately the tantrums have ramped up and he's just generally hard work for the most part.