Nursery School Vs Preschool

[1stTimeMummy2021]

Hi Wise Mumsnetters, my MIL has been on form this week judging my parenting. My in laws don't want to help with childcare and that is fine but I have many health issues and need a break every so often so recently started sending my 14 month old to a local nursery for a couple afternoons a week. They do lots of activities I can't and he loves it there. I take him to many classes and activities but do find it exhausting and appreciate the rest nursery gives me. My MIL is insistent that my son go to preschool at 2, she has the crazy idea that the children from his nursery come from miles around and that the children at one particular preschool playgroup all go to his primary school. I have spoken to many parents and know this is absolutely not the case, the school he will most likely go to has no preschool and the playgroup is attached to a church the other end of town. I am in a very privileged position in that I don't need to work and so can take my son to classes etc until he needs to go to school and could go on holiday during term time. If he went to preschool I couldn't take him to any of his classes, holidays would need to be in the school holidays and I would have to look after my son all holidays with no help. I was planning on keeping my son in nursery until he starts school and maybe increase his hours as he gets older so he gets more use to going to somewhere more regularly, like he'll have to at school. So my question is, is there much difference between a nursery school and preschool? Am I damaging my son by not sending him to preschool like I've been told?

Don’t be moved by her - the childcare is for you and your partner to decide and it sounds like there are many reasons nursery works better for you. Kids up to the age of 3 might have playmates but they don’t have friends so it’s not a big deal.

@pjani Thank you so much. It really does work better for DH and I. Your post genuinely will make me sleep better tonight, you've made me feel so much better. I am fine with not receiving help from the in laws but I wish they wouldn't judge the help I have chosen. The worst part is I was made to feel like I was a terrible mother because with preschool I'd get to spend the school holidays with my son and MIL said she loved spending the holidays with her children, as if I don't like spending time with DS, who is my whole world. The funny thing is her children don't remember their school holidays quite the same way. They were put in every single holiday camp going and some of them were so random. They were literally sent to anything so that MIL didn't have to spend time with them and they knew that. I don't have the confidence to point that out to her though.

I'm a teacher and sent my child to a private day nursery not a pre-school. My next child will do the same. I find the idea of pre-school very English (am from a different part of the UK) and quite outdated now so many couples have both parents working and pre-schools generally offer short sessions with no wrap-around care. I found it bizarre how many strangers would ask my 3 year old if she was starting pre-school. No, she's been going to nursery since she was a baby!

Term time 9-3 preschool is entirely covered by funding whereas year round nursery will charge wraparound fees. You can still go on holiday, it's not like school - it's fine to miss a few days.

Any other differences are going to be specific to each individual setting.

You can always use both if you want, you might decide when he's bigger that you do want him to go for 2 days a week or something. Just see what works as you go along.

Ignore your MIL and do what works best for you. Keep an open mind and re-evaluate nearer the time.