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Parenting

Mum expects me to sort sister contraception?

11 replies

LittlemissMama67 · 25/01/2023 21:39

So I'm 28 my sister is 24 and had a baby at 16 for context. My littlest sister is 17 and has had a steady boyfriend for 4 years. My mum refuses to acknowledge the idea that she maybe should be on contraception so that she dosnt end up pregnant. It's not as if it hasn't happened to my mum before. But my mum has blinkers on and refuses to admit that my sister is doing those things. Maybe she isn't but even if she is she's not going to admit to it is she. Well I brought the matter up to my mum the other day and she said it's not necessary but if I care so much I should talk to my sister about it and make her a doctors appointment. I have no issue doing this but I just don't feel it's my job, shouldn't my mum be more concerned about her daughters future and be more pro active about the situation. Instead of burying her head in the sand and crossing her fingers that her 17 year old daughter and her 18 year old boyfriend are just holding hands. 🙄

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catandcoffee · 25/01/2023 22:59

Your Mum is in la la land. For your youngest sisters sake I'd do it.

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BackOnTheBandWagon · 25/01/2023 23:10

At 17 I'd hope your sister has sorted it herself anyway! I certainly had, didn't involve my mum at all, although my mum did ask once she'd put two and two together (about 6 months too late though...)

It is awful that your mum isn't taking any lead here, but have a chat with your sister, and you may find there's nothing to sort out

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Coffeellama · 25/01/2023 23:17

At 17 she’s old enough to sort her own contraception. But honestly you’ve butted your nose in, so your mum said said go for it, and you don’t want to… if you don’t want to be involved try maybe keep your nose out. Or atleast approach your sister directly.

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LittlemissMama67 · 26/01/2023 07:58

My sister is very awkward about this sort of thing, she 100% would not have sorted it. I just don't want her to end up the same as my other sister pregnant as a teenager, maybe it is none of my business I just can't help but worry about her

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LittleLegoWoman · 26/01/2023 08:02

Absolutely talk to your little sister and help her sort a drs appointment for this!
I understand the ´it’s not my job’ thing but it won’t be an ongoing issue. Once your sister has been helped to sort out the first appointment she’ll likely feel confident enough to keep sorting it out. This is 100% a reasonable thing for you to bring up for a younger sister with a significant age gap. She might find it far less awkward to sort this with you rather than with your mum too.

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LittleLegoWoman · 26/01/2023 08:04

Take her out for coffee or pick her up from school and have the conversation in a car if at all possible. It’s private so nice that no one else is around. If that’s not possible coffee at yours with just you in would work well. Or a walk somewhere there’s enough space not to be overheard by everyone in the general vicinity.

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LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 26/01/2023 08:04

Awkward in what way? At 17 with her sister’s experience she must know the consequences of unprotected sex? But if they’ve been together for 4 years they may already have been sexually active for several years and as she’s not got pregnant yet, so maybe she’s sorted.

Either way, speak to her.

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LittlemissMama67 · 26/01/2023 08:40

It's not that I don't want to help her I do, it's just annoying how much my mum dosnt care, she said something to the effect of oh well if she's having sex she deserves to get pregnant she shouldn't be doing it anyway, And it just really annoyed me. I asked my mum to speak to her when she got home and my mum said no you do it it's not my job. But that's my point it really is your job. As her mother you should be protecting her

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Cileymyrus · 26/01/2023 08:44

I agree, but clearly your mum isn’t going to do anything.

so for your sister’s sake I’d raise the subject. A casual look I know mum’s shit at this kind of stuff, so if you ever need help with dr’s appointments, want to go to the family planning clinic for contraception, std checks etc, let me know and I’ll come with you for support.

leave the door open so she knows she can ask.

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takealettermsjones · 26/01/2023 09:47

I'd bet a lot that your sister is already using contraception! I wouldn't have wanted or needed my mum or sister getting involved in my health at that age.

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LittlemissMama67 · 26/01/2023 11:49

I just want to add it's never concerned me before because it's not my business but I'm writing this holding my 4 month old who I conceived while thinking I was being careful while not on contraception and I'm an almost 30 year old women, I know better and it's still happened to me, it's happens easier than you'd think for some people, without trying to be insensitive to those with fertility struggles

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