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3 year old hitting at nursary

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Lillybc · 25/01/2023 16:52

Hi all, first time posting and in desperate need of help. My 3 year old son is incredibly loving and caring. But ever since his sister was born 9 weeks ago his behaviour at nursary has completely changed and is now becoming a big problem. He is very protective of his sister and loves her. He has never hit her or been nasty towards her. However at nursary he's hitting, biting, throwing toys at other children. He's kicking staff if they try and stop him then laughing and running away.
And now the other children there won't play with him or go near him. (Can't say I blame them)
He's under supervision at nursery to try and find the triggers for his behaviour. He's a very hyper child, he never ever stops, at the same time can become over stimulated (from playing with others including myself and husband) so does need time to calm down, (at home and nursary he goes into a quiet corner for 3 minutes) he's also an incredibly fussy eater. To the point now where he won't eat dinner. If he won't eat it then I make him toast so I'm not rewarding his fussiness with his favorite food but i also cant starve him. (We pay for him to have hot meals at nursary as we thought him seeing other children eat might encourage him but it hasnt helped, thers no change and its been a year) he will only eat food he recognises like fish fingers, turkey dinosaurs. He won't eat veg.
I'm truly at a loss. We talk about our expectations before nursay, no hitting or throwing. And when he does something like that we talk to him about how it makes the friend feel. Are they happy or sad etc. But he dosnt seem to be making the connection.
I have a health advisor calling tomorrow but wanted to see if anyone else has experienced this with their children and what advice you can give! Thank you for reading x

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Monstermoomin · 25/01/2023 17:57

Not really much advice but had similar with my daughter (3.5) following the arrival of her sister 5 months ago and starting nursery in September.

It's a lot of change for them at once and attention is often on a newborn so behaviours can be extreme. We've also been having food issues, she started to refuse foods she'd been eating fine for years.

I ended up just continuing to make normal food and put no pressure on her to eat it. I'd always try to make sure she had a filling pudding (porridge, toast, fruit and yoghurt etc) if she didn't eat much. It's been getting better, but we still have tantrums.

As to the hitting and kicking, she's doing it to us too. We try to reinforce boundaries and consequences and I'm hoping it will eventually pass.

She also doesn't stop, always busy, so much energy, hard to sit still etc.

Hope things get better for you.

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