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Tried Ferber method and couldn’t do it

4 replies

Lilyyy · 24/01/2023 22:40

I’m really really struggling at the moment. I am so exhausted. My DD is 7 months and she’s a lovely baby, however she is very very clingy and night times are awful with sleeping. She will not settle, and wants to sleep on me, not next to me but on me. If I try to get her to sleep in the crib or on the bed alone she wakes up every 30mins to an hour.

I didn’t want to do controlled crying but gave it a go tonight and I gave in and picked her up as she just looked at me so sad and was hysterical it broke my heart.

im really trying but I’m finding this so hard. Me and DH are exhausted. I’m supposed to go back to work full time in two months, I don’t know how I’m going to do it.

anyone else experiencing similar?

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ChildsNoseIsATap · 25/01/2023 13:19

Have you only been doing ferber for one night?

Don't give up. It's gruelling, but you'll see an improvement in three days and a dramatic improvement in a week. A bit of crying is the payoff for decent sleep - and sleep is so important both for you and for her.

I used little ones rather than ferber (similar i believe), and it wasn't until the third day that he fell asleep independently. The first two days were full of tears (for both of us).

I offer you this advice - the sleep training method that works is the one that you stick to.

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EJRB · 25/01/2023 13:25

There’s a reason why you found it so difficult and ‘give in’ - because it’s completely unnatural and goes against everything our instincts are telling us to do!

honestly… please don’t do it. And please ignore anyone who encourages you to continue it because after a few nights it’ll ‘improve’. It’s cruel. Are you breastfeeding or bottle? My lo would only fall asleep on me up until he was 1. I would enjoy the cuddles, wait until he’d been asleep about 15 minutes and then slowly place him down but keep a hand on his back for a minute or so.

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Seasonofthewitch83 · 25/01/2023 14:39

7 months is still SO young. I do not believe personally in CIO and I know I couldnt do it - its not for me and its absolutely not for my daughter. There are so many other methods you can try, and baby changes SO much in the next 6 months. The mums who claim that their children then magically slept 12 hours forever after 3 nights are largely bullshitting or completely lucking out.

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ShirleyPhallus · 25/01/2023 14:42

Just to say that ferber is NOT CIO…

If it’s not for you then it’s not for you. It’s horrible hearing your baby cry and although it works, it’s more unfair to the child to pick them up half way through.

Lots of gentle methods around although you’ll not find one with absolutely no crying. Pick up / put down is good

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