Thoughts on this?

[Hypofeticalyspeekin]

A 2yo toddler being sleep trained via cry it out at 3 months. Independent play 98% time, limited parental interaction. Toddler has things taken off them quite abruptly, no explanation given, if they're not meant to have the items, e.g. open felt tip pen accidentally in reach etc. Any resulting tantrums just ignored, no explanation by parent/ attempt to console/distract/divert.

Toddler pushes/shoves other toddlers off toys they want to play with. Toddler will take toys away from other toddlers even if they have shown no interest in them. Toddler tantrums are extreme but short...

I think it could be the first paragraph causing the second? I.e. unintentional taught behaviour...toddler has things taken away abruptly, so it's OK to do it to others?

You have described my v confident and assertive 2yo toddler in that second paragraph, but the absolute opposite in the first paragraph.

OK 👍

I would say mean/bullyish rather than assertive

Bullyish at 2 years old?

Do you have any children OP?

Who's child is it? Unless it's yours, I can't see how you'd know what is happening "98% of the time"

You seem to be critical of the parent. Is their child upsetting yours and you're trying to understand why?

Yeah I could say the same about mine. Nursery key worker said last week "they'll get that toy by hook or by crook whether it's a 4/3/2/1yo playing with it, if it's what they want, they'll get it and nothing will get in the way"

@Margo34 it's funny how kids are so different isn't it. So I suppose the context of upbringing at this age can be over ridden by the strength of their personality then.

Loads of 2 year olds shove and push or snatch or worse. It's a developmental stage. They have no concept of other people's feeling or their impact on them. They don't even really understand that other people are people. So, they see something they want they take it.

2 year olds are not mean. They are still learning and processing right from wrong.

Re think this kind of language, especially if you have regular contact with this toddler.

I would harshly judge anyone who parents the way you describe in the first paragraph.

Sounds like they could do with more interaction but 2 year olds can be really hard work behaviour wise no matter how well parented.