Guilt - please help me have a word!

[allthegearandnoideaatall]

We’ve been invited to an adult only family wedding. My DH is happy not to attend, and to look after our kids (9 and 12) in a Airbnb local to the wedding. I can attend with my brother who is going solo. Why do I feel guilty for attending? I just feel it’s such a shame my girls can’t be with family :(

For background: we have had 5 nights away (1 Night at a time) from the kids since they were born. Never left them for more than one night. Just not used to doing things without them at all.

Is the wedding abroad? Just curious about why DH and DC would travel to be near the wedding but not attend. Are you combining it with a family holiday?

You stop the guilt by stop being so silly. They have you the vast majority of the time. You are allowed to do things without them. What do you feel guilty about? In a few years they will be off being their own people. And then what will you do??

Make some memories with your brother and enjoy the break!

Why are your children and DH travelling to near the wedding if they're not attending?

To be honest I don't really know what you feel guilty about. You're leaving them with their dad not a stranger.

It's odd to have them all miss out on a family event, I agree (would be different if it was friends who your kids weren't close to), but not much you can do about that as it's best to respect the wishes of the couple getting married. Are there any other children (cousins?) about that your DH could make special plans with so they can all do something special? If not, still have DH do something special with them -- they can make their own memories and are not (believe it or not) completely dependent on you to make good memories...... so don't feel guilty!!

Wow I want to help but I just can’t relate. I take whatever chance I can to get a break from my DC!! Why don’t you do things without them?

Thanks all.

The idea of DH and kids being nearby was to make a weekend of it and that they could see family the day after. Wedding is 3 hours from home so I would stay overnight anyway. Though an Airbnb or similar might work.

I don’t know why I don’t do things without them. I guess it’s what I know. Seems it isn’t normal. I will think about this some more.