How long does the whinging phase last?! Driving me bonkers!

[doingitalllagain]

My son is 3.5 and oh my gosh he just whines and whinges incessantly. He was going to private nursery 2 days a week and school nursery the other days, he would happily go into school but the nursery days he'd whinge all morning he didn't want to go. We pulled him out and put him just in school and now he whinges everyday he doesn't want to go there!

He finishes his breakfasts and comes up to me in a drawn out whiny voice "I'm still hungry and my cereal is all gone" I will say "mummy, can I have more cereal please?" He will then repeat what I said and I'll say "yes because you asked nicely"

It's just like that with everything. Everything is whinged not asked! We do a lot of rephrasing as referenced above, a lot of "normal voice please" but it is just relentless and it's so irritating! Please tell me this is a phase they snap out of quickly?! He's like a moody teenager!

I will add he literally wakes up in the morning and says am I going to school today, if we say yes he'll whinge all morning that he doesn't want to go, he wants to stay at home all day, he's not going to play or talk to anyone etc. If we don't answer him about where he's going he just asks repeatedly. I phoned his teacher a few times to check after he was upset going in and she said he's thriving there, really happy within minutes of us leaving, has lots of friends and is very chatty and confident with the other kids. So the whining all morning is just for my benefit apparently! He gets home and chats about how fun school was so it's not that he's miserable there.

Your response to him sounds painful tbh.

No tips but exactly the same age, exactly the same incessant whining - I’m told it’s a phase. When does the phase end, that’s what I want to know!

DD is almost 5 and still going strong. It drives me mad!

We had to start doing that because we didn't want him to whinge everything to us and it work as then he'll do it. It is everything. It's hard to get across over text but it's just a proper high pitched whine usually ending in a shout, but everything is phrased in a negative and is a hint for us to intervene rather than just asking for what he wants nicely. I don't want him to think whining is the way to talk to me!

Just ignore him until he stops whinging and asked nicely.
“I’m not talking to you while you whine”, then grey rock. If he does ask anything nicely, lots of praise, even if the answer is not what he wants.
“You do have to go to school, but because you asked so nicely we can go to the park afterwards”.. etc.

Agree with PP, tell him the whining voice is not acceptable and that you cannot understand him when he uses it and he needs to use his normal voice so you can hear him then grey rock until the normal voice returns.
I would reassure him that you will listen but only when the normal voice is used.

My daughter is exactly the same! She hates going to nursery and will cry all morning even in the car on the way there but once she's there she's fine. We'll pick her up and she's all happy and will talk about her day. It doesn't make sense 😂 don't really have any advice on the whinging but my older daughter was the same and stopped once she started proper school so think it's just his age OP. It's annoying but it's his way of expressing himself. As he get older he'll learn how to deal with his emotions a bit better xx

My 6 year old does it sometimes, but I do not join the conversation until he is using his normal voice, so I remind him of that.

My 4 year old does it, drives me crazy

It depends on the child I think. Ds1 was never particularly whiny. Even though he had a speech delay he always seemed to be able to make himself heard without whining. Ds2 on the other hand, my god. ‘I’M THIRSTYYYYYYY MUMMMMYYYYY!’ Every single time I tell him if he’s thirsty he can ask me nicely for a drink and not whine. He’s 4 and starting to get it now. Still prone to whining and hysteria at the drop of a hat though.

My son is fairly whiny at 4.5 but he was never as bad as you describe, sorry op.

Now that he's older he tries to manipulate us. "Mummy give me [thing he wants] then I will stop going on!" 🙈

Until they leave home and then your husband starts it

@bakewellbride oh my DD does that too!! 😆

@Topjoe19 glad it's not just me!