TV time 20 month old….realistically what’s the norm?!

[Shleepymummy]

I’ve put tv time as opposed to screen time just because my 20 month old doesn’t have a tablet etc. But she loves Peppa Pig and asks for it, which makes me think maybe we let her have too much tv time? They say if you HAVE to use screens, 1 hour a day max. I would say she has more like 2 hours a day, spread out in intervals from 07am-6pm 40 mins, 20 mins, 30 mins etc.
Realistically, what do other parents do? I use it when I’m cooking dinner to give me 2 hands, in the morning when I’m trying to get myself up and sorted and sometimes in the day if I’m knackered and just need 15 mins to sit.
Thoughts? And if others do 1 hour or less….how?! My toddler won’t sit and do a puzzle, she will play independently for a 5 mins but not long. Arts and crafts don’t work, she just wants to throw crayons, draw on herself with pen. Nothing lasts long in terms of distraction/entertainment!
Thoughts from parents who try but also have to do other stuff like housework, work, general adult duties!

My 19M is at nursery 4 days a week so I figure she's not getting screen time there. We have CBeebies on while we get dressed in the morning 30mins max . And then it's on in the evening while I make dinner and we wind down 1 hour ish. At the weekend it's more but I always have that or music on in the background and it's not getting her undivided attention on the weekend as she does get bored and we are out and about. I've decided not to worry about it. I was brought up on TV and turned out fairly ok.

For my two it was zero at that age. I cooked very simple meals to be able to do it even with distractions and cooked ahead at the weekend. Laundry I got the toddlers to “help” and all other housework waited.

My DD is 18months and I try not to worry about this too much. We tend to put the TV on when she asks for it and 99% of the time she watches it for 5-10mins then goes off and plays. If we say no it creates more of a fuss and I think that somehow makes her want it more so we just try and be relaxed about it. We probably have the TV on far too much based on the advice/guidance but she's never glued to it and it's in between us doing activities together. We have family looking after her whilst we work and it's probably on far too much on those days but I don't sweat it 🤷🏼‍♀️. I think there's got to be a balance and you need to be realistic about what works for you.

My 2 year old gets up at 6.30am and I'm on my own all day with him until my husband gets home anytime between 5 and 6pm (we don't have any friends or family nearby so it really is just me).

We have an hour or so while I try to wake up, then half an hour to an hour after lunch.

I don't know how to do 11 hours of toddler care with no TV at all. I'm human and need a rest too - mine doesn't stop unless the TV is on. And he doesn't nap anymore.

I applaud parents who don't use a TV but I do!

I'd look at the things she needs to do in a day and once they're all covered not worry about a bit of TV.

It's when TV replaces something else that it becomes a problem. From your description it sounds a little like TV is replacing time for her to play independently/be a bit bored and you probably want to avoid that. Don't put it on everytime you need to do something else, it's good for them to mooch a little/be bored/entertain themselves for a while.

I don't use screens at all. We have lots of puzzles, toys and use music and instruments etc. If I need to get something done I do it in the room altogether, or make up songs or games with whatever is at hand, or suggest "bring your tamborine with us now we're going to sing" (as I also do X chore) or ask for "help" with the task. I don't really see why anyone has to use screens for under twos. It's ok for toddlers to be a bit bored whilst you put the washing out etc. We have a box of things to play with in the kitchen whilst making dinner. I don't do crafting unless I am fully involved in it because it's not suitable for an independent activity with such a little one...unless you don't mind your house being in a mess I guess!

I wish my 2 year old DS would just play with his toys whilst I did things. If I tried to cook dinner with him in the kitchen, he would be gutting all the cupboards he could possibly get to, constantly asking to be picked up, constantly asking for fruit (fruit thing doesn't sound bad, right? Well, he would take 3 bites out of a pear and leave it. Then ask for another one 5 mins later. And have a meltdown when offered the original one..)

So yes, cartoons/CBeebies is definitely being used when I need to get food ready; or even if I just need a moment to sit on a sofa and stare into space after a long day at work. I do plenty of usual toddler stuff with him, and he goes to nursery full time where he does lots of fun stuff, so I am really trying hard not to feel bad about using screens to claw back some sanity.

DD had 0 screen time at 20 months. We'd have the telly on in the room sometimes but to the news or something and she didn't look at it. Now at 2 we put Hey Duggee on for a total of about 30 mins a day but she often wanders off while that's on too!

With my youngest at that age we were in lockdown - nanny CBeebies saved my sanity!

In general I'm very lax about this. I prefer that they watch CBeebies or other similar stuff.

I don't limit it at all. They will go off an play while it's on.

I personally find CBeebies super useful in the morning. Mine are now 6 and 4 and passage of time is still quite an abstract concept to them. What they do understand though is;

Breakfast during second Bluey and Go Jetters
Going out wee after Peter Rabbit.

When the closing credits for Peter Rabbit go on it's time to go to school.

I would be interested to hear in those people who say zero screen time, if they have more than one child

I found ceebeebies very useful for leaving with my toddler for 15 mins while I put the baby down for a nap etc

@Flittingaboutagain It's ok for toddlers to be a bit bored whilst you put the washing out etc.
Actually in my experience it’s not. When most toddlers are bored they usually act up and push the boundaries. If I left my toddler bored while I hung the washing out or put the baby down then the toddler would inevitably climb on the table and get hurt.

Letting them be bored/entertain themselves is different to leaving them unsupervised.

It's fine for them to be bored, it's not fine to leave them unsupervised in a room where they could climb onto a table/injure themselves.

Zero for us

i think once you start and use screen time then it’s harder to take it away and expect them to be content playing with toys when they’ve been used to watching something on the tele

my lo is 16 months

I sometimes worry about this aswell.
I try my best to limit our 19 month old to an hour , usually while I'm cooking dinner and trying to clean up a bit from the days mess! I tend to have the TV on throughout the day with this morning/loose women etc. But I don't count that as she doesn't watch it . If I put her programmes on she just zones right in.
It's so difficult as my daughter just whines and moans when I leave the room , so if I do have something I need to do ,the TV will distract her long enough!

Try not to worry too much though. Maybe try some more educational things aswell. Our daughter loves Ms Rachel and I've found she has picked up so many songs with actions since watching her lol xx

We had zero until 2…but I’m quite happy to say I have no regrets since we introduced 10-20 mins in the morning and 30-40 mins in the evening. Always CBeebies. The battles to get DS ready have stopped and I can now cook better meals without a toddler hanging off my leg and screaming to be played with or trying to climb the cupboards. Great if you’ve got one of those toddlers who’s happy to potter and play nicely on their own, not all of us are blessed with that. I wish I hadn’t been so strict about it to be honest.

I have two. The toddler played on the bedroom floor while the baby went to sleep usually. Like most second babies, he was more resistant to noise so she didn’t bother him. Perhaps it’s a bit more difficult without TV, but it’s also easier to not have any pestering for it too.

I think this is a very good point. My first had minimal screen time until her sister was born when she was 3.5 years old, and the baby was very poorly in NICU so tv became a distraction technique. My now toddler watches loads more! It’s second child syndrome!

Ah don’t worry about it honestly. In a few years you’ll look around their peers and never know who did and didn’t have hours of screen time in toddlerhood.

We had the TV on in the morning before nursery so I could get ready for work. DD never (until recently) wanted to do any form of independent play first thing in the morning. Probably about an hour tops.

Evening, after dinner but before bedtime routine if anyone needed a wind down, watch something calming before bed like The Gruffalo. And that includes me after coming in from work and needing to decompress after an hour travelling across London before I start bedtime routine.

Echo the above - babies with older siblings are exposed to screens. Unless they are sat watching it dead eyes for hours on end, its not that deep.

Probably about 2 hours a day for our 18 month old, may seem a lot especially compared to those that dont watch any tv, but he spends the majority of his day outdoors and around other people and seems to be developing very well - I'm not worried!

Very true, sort of like FF vs. BF

Sorry but I had to snigger at tambourine 🤭

Max about 30 -40 mins I think. Loves Peppa and we put it on in the morning while we come to, and then sometimes again in the evening while I’m cooking or after dinner. He stops paying attention and wanders off after about 10 mins though usually. We do need to try other things than peppa!! Will give c beebies a go after reading this thread.

Doesn't have a tablet or spend any more than a couple of mins on our phones very occasionally (looking at photos usually) but he knows how to swipe and nursery very nicely advised us to limit our screen time!! We had a good eye roll at that!

I would say a couple of hours is fine, it's not the 1950s, it's not going to do long term damage, sometimes I think they need passive time, instead of leaping about with wooden blocks. Kids in the past would have had passive time too, sitting on the doorstep, watching worms, watching their mums chat with neighbours. The blessing is catch it while they're still too young to discover YouTube...

All the evidence suggests you're wrong actually when you say this Squidwitch. Passive downtime of the 1950s was much healthier than being plonked in front of a screen for two hours.