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Any advice for an anxiety ridden mum!

3 replies

Thishouseoldbones · 23/01/2023 15:28

Hi, I’m really looking for some advice or reassurance or I don’t really know, someone to tell me to give my head a wobble.

I’m a first time mum and my little boy is 17months old. I will start by saying I am
extremely nervous and postnatal depression, anxiety and mental health is in the pits (which I have just started intensive trauma treatment for) so it’s hard to sometimes trust a “mothers instinct” that something is wrong or alright when it’s muddled with crippling anxiety. I’m working so hard on myself to become the best version of me for him and his future.

My little boy has been slow at milestones but has been getting there, he crawled at 12 months and he started toddling in the past week but speech is nowhere to be found. He doesn’t shake his head yes or no, he doesn’t really manage any baby signing either. He just blows ferocious raspberry elephant sounds and squeals, occasionally he sort of grunts when he wants something. He also spends a lot of time just flapping his hands with a gaping mouth and sitting on the back of his bottom with his feet tensed in the air.

When it comes to playing, he is obsessed with buttons and noise - he won’t play with toys he will just flick them on and off and go around pressing obsessively buttons for noise and then move on, not for a specific noise but just for any noise. We have removed most noise making toys for the moment to try and encourage different types of play but he just sits and chews on things instead (absolutely everything lives in his mouth, that’s just how he plays 24/7, chew it then throw it). Even in quiet times he will randomly decide to flick a noise button then return to what he was doing (like for background noise?)

On a daily basis we sing, read loads of books, go for little walks in his trike, he does watch a small amount of tv mainly baby club/toddler club, Paddington, in the night garden or Miss Rachel.

He understands everything being said to him and he can follow commands e.g “Can you look for” or “Sit Down Please”. He’s very engaging with eye contact and laughs and smiles but because I’m unwell we rarely leave the house to socialise and I’m at a loss as to how to help him, what to do, if something may be wrong etc? We live in an area where I don’t know anyone at all so it’s just myself, my little boy and my husband when he’s not at work.
He has been referred to Speech and Language Therapy by paediatrician and health visitor also gave us some drop in info for them as wait times are huge.

Am I being silly, genuinely worried I’m missing something with him and therefore not helping him learn in the way that fits him. He’s a great eater, great sleeper, almost all his teeth are through.

Maybe some more experienced and levelled headed mums out there can offer some insight?

Thanks for getting to the end of my waffling, he’s having his afternoon nap and I’m bouncing off the walls with worries!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ChildsNoseIsATap · 23/01/2023 18:04

Speaking is a 12-18 month milestone, so you've nothing to really worry about at the moment. Even after 18 months doesn't mean there's a problem - i have a cousin who didn't speak until 2; she's now a VERY intelligent teenager.

The important thing is that he understands what's being said and follows commands. Speaking will come later.

Flicking buttons is playing. He doesn't know how you expect him to play with toys; he's only exploring in his own way. He's learning that when he presses this button, a noise comes. That's consequences to actions.

Comedycook · 23/01/2023 18:08

Pressing buttons which make noise is him learning cause and effect. He presses it, it makes a noise...he is making the connection that the noise happens because he presses the button.

Comedycook · 23/01/2023 18:47

Speaking is a 12-18 month milestone

Is it? Seems very young. I've never known a 12 month old to speak

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