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Parenting

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Feel like my life is over

3 replies

Boseet · 22/01/2023 15:39

I had a good career only a year ago, earning a reasonable amount with the prospect of earning 80 plus k in future. I’m 36. I had a baby last September and I’m just beginning to see how utterly fucked my life is. My ex, the father, is a high earner over 110k and is paying only 450 cms as he’s upped pension. I’m thinking about contesting this. But more than that, I am realising that I am 100% alone, every pick up and drop off etc, every sleepless nights. Ex wants nothing to do with her despite saying he absolutely wanted her and having discussed finances before having her. Yes I realise I chose the wrong man, hence why we are now apart. However even had we stayed together there was no way he would have left his precious work due to child illness etc and it would always have been on me.

what was I thinking? I will almost certainly lose my job, it’s not the sort of work you can do on one hour of sleep a night. I feel victimised as a woman, like everything is a fight… cms, childcare costs, work, etc.

i wish someone had spelled out to me just how crap it is for women sometimes. I don’t see any real future anymore, I used to achieve things and have potential and aspirations and they’re all fast evaporating. Work are already suggesting I will go part time, which actually I can’t even if I wanted to as childcare is so much. I hate it all.

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 22/01/2023 15:41

I’m sorry. The early years are hard, but they don’t last forever. One of my team is a single mum to two kids and does an amazing job and earns well. You’re life definitely isn’t over, though it will be different for a while.

chocoholi · 22/01/2023 16:31

I'm so sorry, but this is life for now only not forever
Can you take a sabbatical and look at it that way ?
I had a baby last august and am really really struggling. Just with how bloody hard it is. So for your added stress I can only emphasise. I have a husband and we aren't in high earning jobs at all but I have support from him ( no one else ) and I feel sad about that but being a single mum and what I would describe as the most difficult time - hats off to you.

I have been a single mum with my first....she was 22n when i left but as soon as she started school I was able to get my career back x

AuroraForever · 22/01/2023 17:11

It won’t be like this forever. It really won’t. The early years are the hardest but it will get better, and easier, I promise you. Hang in there. There definitely needs to be more about this in the baby and parenting books because no one tells it how it really is.

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