Completely lost/depressed struggling with 4m old

[AmberM2022]

So this might be abit of a long one.
I have a little boy 4m tomorrow and safe to say we have not had the best 16 weeks, he had awful god awful colic, reflux, he has a major cows milk allergy, horrific eczema, has had covid and a febrile seizure (awfully scary time 3 days in hospital) a tongue tie cut and to top it off just doesn’t like to sleep!
And basically i just constantly regret having him, i miss my old life so much and have a constant ‘what have i done’ feeling. He screams and cry’s more than ever before at the moment, and is sleeping worse than ever before (i didn’t even think that was possible) I know we have been through a lot but i just feel like a shit mum and that he hates me. I hear about the 4m sleep regression and wonder if he’s going through that but then again i just don’t know if it’s even a thing?
Has anyone else felt so lost being a FTM? I know people say ‘oh yeah it’s hard isn’t it’ but i find it REALLY hard and other mums just don’t seem to feel like me? I go to baby sensory and mums seem so content and happy with their baby’s and i just want to cry.
How do other people cope with constant screaming and crying?
Sorry for rambling i just don’t know where else to turn with my thoughts

First 4 months were a torture here, high need baby, I felt terrorised by my son. The slowly month after month things started improving. You'll start feel loved and the struggles of new baby will be like a dark fog you'll emerge from. I mean i still miss weekends of not doing much apart from relaxing but his laughter and the interactions we share are the purest joy I could never imagine. I keep telling myself I swapped freedom for love and that is so worth it. You're doing an incredible job, you will know this in a few months and will think to yourself God I am a bloody hero. One day at a time for now. Sending you patience, it's a bloody marathon the first months.

Hun I'm so so sorry that sounds so incredibly tough. My 7 month old has horrific eczema. Still trying to find the triggers but to the point if I don't put cream on him every hour his skin will dry so bad and he will literally scratch until he bleeds.

I've had people try to play it down like oh it's common it's just dry skin. You only get what having a child with bad eczema is like when you live it.

Ontop of everything else you have going on I can only imagine what things are like. If you ever need a chat please let me know. I may not be an expert or able to help with the other issues but I can be a venting ear.

This isn't life forever. Things will get easier.
You are an absolute hero

Also skip the bloody baby groups if that adds to you feeling low. They're not compulsory. We never went as I was too exhausted and anxious and he has zero socialising skills deficits. Leaps out of our arms since he joined nursery. Honestly survive best you can, do bare minimum to preserve energy.

@Laurappo 🙌 absolutely this. Always wound me up when people down played my experiences of my daughter's eczema with comments like that "oh yeah you need to use E45 cream that'll clear it right up" (sure why didn't I think of that whilst I slather on these potent steroids and immunosuppressants).

It's bloody tough and it massively affected my mental health and we only had the eczema to contend with as luckily her food reactions were just hives so the allergy specialist told us to just keep giving them.

Hopefully things will start getting better, but definitely look at support for you! There's a good eczema group called EOS and they're super supportive.

I could have wrote something similar but as others have said it does get easier I promise! 5 months was a turning point for us, I’d also say being out of the house is easier than being in. Try using a sleepbag or whatever you use at night for naps too - it really helped us. Keep thinking of stuff as phases, it will pass and then sadly something else will happen like a cold or teething but again it passes and you do get a slight let up before the next. My baby boy is 9 months and now it’s the whole milk vs food stress 😭 you’ll be doing an amazing job, and try not to get disheartened although I know first hand how that’s easier said than done xxx