Starting to hate my child, so miserable

[Atghhjj]

I am a lone parent. Baby 10 weeks. They are not even a difficult baby but I genuinely am losing all feeling towards them and worried it won’t come back. They’ve always woken every 2.5-3 hours which I could cope with but in the last week it’s been 1.5-2 hours snd I literally can’t deal with it. They’re fed and changed and everything is fine so I just can’t understand it. When I give them a bottle they half heartedly finish it off so not even convinced they’re that hungry, I mean they drink well snd are above their expected weight etc. In they say they will easily sleep 3 hours and last night between 7-11 they were extremely sleepy so I tried to sleep but just couldn’t so early.

I hate them right now. Been crying for 10 mins and I’ve just been typing this as I just don’t know what to do. I’m so unhappy.

*in the day

I feel like I honestly hate them. How utterly terrible is that :(

A lot of people feel that way.
Its tough being a lone parent and having newborn. Do you have sling so you could put a coat on if it’s cold and go for a walk? I used to sit near other mums at the park so I could chat. Chances are they found it tough at some point too.

I can’t even imagine how hard it is having a newborn on your own. I really doubt you hate your baby, you understandably hate your situation. Assume there is nobody who could have the baby overnight for you, even once in a while?

Hi OP,
I also posted the other day as my 10 week old went from sleeping through the night except for one feed to waking every 2hrs and not settling back down from 4am.. apparently it’s a common sleep regression time so keep thinking it’s just a phase! My little one has just started settling back down after about a week and half so hang on in there!!
Being a parent is incredibly difficult never mind a lone parent so cut yourself a bit of slack you’re doing a great job. Have you got wider family who can give you a break or vent to? Sometimes getting the chance to miss baby makes you feel so much better.

you’re in the most difficult phase and it will get better xxx

Not terrible, just honest.. I had one that was the same, I survived, he survived, and there is a reason sleep deprivation is used as torture!
Hang in there. Take one day at a time.
I would be more concerned if you said you loved it. That is a deluded mother! 😉

I feel like after everything my ex put me through hes now taken away my ability to be a good mother. I want to believe I would still be exhausted with a partner but I wouldn’t be would j, I would have slept more.

I was fine until this week. But 2 hour wakings is just too much I can’t do it. I have nobody to have them and I wouldn’t want to do that anyway but I guess that’s my only option.

@Emma543 thanks that is so reassuring to hear, did they go back to usual pattern? I was genuinely fine with 2.5 hours or more but I can’t cope with 1.5-2 it’s just horrendous. They are such a good baby too I feel so guilty. I just don’t get where the hell this has come from

This is not an abnormal feeling and you are not an abnormal human. You do love your baby and you will feel it again, it will end up okay. In the worst depths of my sleep deprivation/ PND I wanted to give my child up for adoption, I fantasied about giving him away to someone and just closing my eyes and sleeping.

You need support and a community. I would talk to your HV, they have heard this before and will help you. Spending time with other women and babies helped me immensely, even though I was still sleep deprived and miserable I felt less alone. All of those groups gave my days structure too which I really needed Your HV can help you access the GP if you need support with your mental health, and mums and babies groups.

The baby will sleep through one day, they all do, and you will look back on this time as something you survived, because you are strong. Hang in there, ask for help, and trust that it gets better xx

I really feel for you, sleep deprivation is torture and so difficult to cope with. You are being a great mum, and so wise to post here asking for support. You absolutely need some sleep and some support💐 who could you speak to in real life?

My baby didn’t sleep “through” until she was 12 weeks old. I was on my knees with absolutely no help as father didn’t live with me.
You WILL get through this. Better days & nights will come.
Sending a hand hold.

Time to call in the reinforcements OP!
You’re not a shit mother. This bit is hard for everyone and so so hard if you’re on your own.
Is there anyone who would come to you for a couple of days? Or anyone you could go and visit for a few days? People love babies so friends or family will cuddle your baby for an afternoon or take them out for 2 hours in the pram while you nap. They really will. And they will likely also feed you and make you cups of tea and coo over your baby and compliment you on doing such a good job.
Who might be able to do this for you OP? Your parents? siblings? Favourite Auntie? Friend with similar age baby on maternity leave? or friend who’s kids are now much older? Even someone who you could spend an afternoon with would help your mental health this week.

I think this is normal. I went through a phase of feeling inane regret. When my baby cried I didn’t feel a natural longing to comfort her, it just made me miserable. I thought I was the worst mum in the world!

She’s now about to turn 1 and my love for her has blossomed wonderfully! She’s amazing. Yes, there are still some tough moments, but nothing as tough as those first few months! I absolutely promise it gets easier! Hang in there mama x

My baby is 11 months, never been a great sleeper, I have a partner - I am still exhausted! Babies are exhausting especially when they don’t sleep at night. I’ve taken to co sleeping just so I don’t have to keep getting up but baby is a fidget bum so keeps waking me anyway, I can’t win. My partner does help quite a bit but I’m still exhausted, if the dad was there you would likely still feel the same so push that out if your mind. Do you think you could be suffering with pnd? Speak to your gp or hv about how you are feeling. I’m sure you don’t hate your baby you are just really struggling at the moment and that is ok, but reach out for help if you need it.

Twins are so much for you to cope with on your own. They sound exhausting.
Prioritise what you need to do so that you can sleep when they are sleeping.

Go for a walk, with babies, get some fresh air! It's hard being a lone parent. Get to know other mums in your area, and mix! Twins can be hard work. Get some shut eye, the housework can always wait! My one only used to sleep in the day. He was up all night!, look after yourself .x